“Maybe we should look at the cult angle.” Cami pops the top on a bright pink can of Dream Shark pale ale. Sera slides a matching glass her way, then continues to clean the same spot on the bar she’d been working for the past hour.
It’s surprisingly slow in the High Noon. I assume it’s because of the approaching holiday but the listless way Scott and Madison move around the empty bar tells me otherwise. Sera starts to say something to Cami, but Madison comes over to restock the glasses.
“Quiet in here”, I comment while sipping my lukewarm cranberry and lime.
“People are mad my dad went to bat for AJ.” Madison says, “It’ll smooth over. Like it did last time.”
“Last time ?” Cami says before I can.
“You didn't tell them ?”Madison glances at Sera, “Those college girls posted our bar all over the internet when Sera kicked out that weird homeless guy.”
I remember Sera telling me that story my first night here. The guy ended up the murderer she’d killed. She never mentioned that it was Mickie and Paige that started it. I try to relay a look to Sera that says we are going to talk about this later.
Nate had been at the bar when we’d walked in. He refused to make eye contact and barely threw a fit when Sera refused to serve him while he was on the clock. He just left looking defeated..
“Madison, do you think there is a chance AJ could be behind the murders ?” I ask.
“No. He’s been fencing stuff since we were in high school but it was always to help out his foster family. You’ve seen Larry’s bills. I warned him to be careful.”
Cami turns her recorder off, “You knew he was stealing from those houses.”
“I never said that”, Madison rewords her admission carefully, “I’m just saying in the past he’s stolen things and in the past I told him to be careful. Now look where it’s gotten him. He says he’s leaving town.”
Sera lingers by a little closer to listen in.
“He can’t leave town”, I remind her, “He’s being investigated.”
Madison shrugs.
“You try telling him that. I’m throwing him a farewell party. You all should come.”
Cami and I both nod uncommittedly as she heads in the back.
“So about the cult.” Cami starts up again.
“There is no cult”, Sera says while slicing through a particularly tough lime.. She neatly places a lime on a fresh cranberry lime and passes it to me. Cami continues:
“Maybe someone who has it out for Order members is trying to frame yo—“
Sera slams her knife point first into the bar “Enough.”
Cami pulls the knife out of the wood and hands it back to Sera, “You almost stabbed me.”
Sera doesn’t take the knife. Instead she heads to the back with some empty boxes.
“There’s barely anyone left in the cult”, I remind Cami.
“But they were responsible for the home invasion.”
“Not officially", Just thinking about it sends ghost pain through me,”The commune is pretty much disbanded and Helios has been on the run for years.”
Cami pushes her chair back and kneels on the counter. She’s able to reach over just enough to grab a vodka from a bottom shelf. She pours a few shots into my cranberry lime.
“Occam’s Razor”, Cami pivots, “AJ did it. Mia showed him the video of the accident. He confronts Mickie and Paige. He loses his cross in the malay. He gets a new one so if they find his at the crime scene there is reasonable doubt. Maybe Mia figures out what AJ did and he silences her. ”
“What about Kim Harbinger ?”
Cami sighs
“I don’t know. She’s his boss. She must have caught him stealing or something. Look at this cross.”, Cami pulls the sealed cross out of her bag, “It was smeared in blood. The only way it could have gotten blood on it is if he was there when it was freshly spilled.”
I study the cross and set it in my jacket pocket. “Do you have Mia’s phone ?”
She produces it and I scroll to the end of the Mia and Sera video. I go to the very end where AJ is driving and rescues Mia. For a split second his wrist is visible with the charm missing. The video was from maybe two months ago. There are a few other videos on the phone with a flash of AJ. The cord is there but the cross is missing.
“We need to talk to him.”
+++
“Are you sure we should be doing this”, Cami says as we approach Larry’s, “AJ’s lawyer seemed pretty strict.”
“This isn’t just about AJ.”
Larry is sitting on the large wraparound porch. Granger is fiddling around with his car outfront. It’s balmy but doesn't quite feel like winter.
“What brings you by?” Larry asks.
“AJ.”
“He’s not here. I have nothing to say about that kid.”
“Larry you can’t get him out”, I said, “He needs your support now more than ever.”
“We had an agreement”, he explains,“I told him to stay out of trouble if he wants to stay here.”
“I’m not convinced he’s guilty.”
Larry shakes his head and changes the subject, “I got my disability exception. I think it was because of that thing you filed.”
“It was just an affidavit.”
“Well. Now they are talking about settling. Won’t be much. Thinking about getting a group of people together to petition the county for a crosswalk.”
“That’s great. I don’t know how long I’ll be in town but keep me posted.”
“I have your card”, He says, “Thank you.”
It’s difficult to say what I say next. Especially with Cami here, “Sir, I know what it’s like to be AJ. Being rejected by your foster family…no matter how old you are is the type of pain that never goes away. It reminds you that you are only family until you are inconvenient. Even when you are almost forty years old and you’ve made amends, it will still hurt.”
“You don’t get it.” Larry says. He pushes himself up and carefully makes his way down the steps with his cane. He walks around the side of the house. Leaning on one crutch he sticks a hand under the broken patio and pulls out a green t-shirt smeared with dried blood.
He hands it to me. It’s heavy. I carefully unwrap it but I already know what’s underneath. Cami sees a glimmer of the knife and backs away.
“Larry what is this ?” I ask.
“I saw AJ hide this here when I got back from the hospital. I didn’t want to believe it was what it was.”
“We need to take this to Nate.”, Cami says.
“I’ve been protecting a monster”, Larry says, “I realized that last night. I can’t prove he did it but I want him to stay the hell away from my family.”
+++
I slam the safe shut and program in the code. I’d sealed the t-shirt and knife in a bag and neatly placed it in the safe along with Mia’s phone and The Order Cross.
“What ? We’re just hiding evidence now.” Cami says.
“I don’t know”, I manage, “I need to talk to AJ before we give that to Nate.”
“I don’t think his lawyer will like that.”
I open the safe and look at the Order cross again.
“I think I know how to figure out if he bought a replacement cross.”
I grab my laptop and Google Hippolyta Luna. It brings up nothing except a website that looks like it was made in 2006. She occasionally shows up listed in unsecured PDFs for vendors at craft fairs. I find a recent one with her listed. She’d been in Olympia two weeks ago. This week she was in Tacoma.
“We need to talk to Hippolyta.”
“You really have a thing for talking to your ex-girlfriends.” Cami scrolls on the website probably looking for a picture of her.
“Hippolyta was never my girlfriend.” I pull up the location for the fair she’s at, “If we leave first thing we can interview her–”
“I can’t. I have my last virtual final tomorrow.”
“Right. I’ll ask Sera. Hippolyta will tell her just about anything.”
Cami hesitates before answering, “Fine. Then we have to start talking to Nate. I get that he seems like an asshole but we’re out of our depth. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
Cami heads to her room to study. I feel a little restless so I grab some coffee from the late-night coffee bar. I settle into the lobby and flip through my potential offers. Maybe I needed a fresh start. Maybe I’d thrive in an unfamiliar landscape. Like Sera.
I open up the Minnesota offer. Mark was right. The research he pulled was interesting and the money was really fucking good. I’d get appointed to a county job and learn the lay of the land until midterms. Fuck maybe I could live on a farm or out in the country. Somewhere peaceful and quiet.
Like here.
I search around the small towns and cities included on the dossier. Then I look up how many miles Minnesota is from Severance.
1700
Less than the miles between New York and Severance.
Then I put in the distance from the Days Inn to Sera’s house.
.57 Miles
It’s barely seven o'clock and already pitch black outside. I jog back to my room and dig to the bottom of my suitcase for my walking shoes. I leave out the backdoor and power walk across the parking lot. There is a balmy chill in the air. I have my phone on me but I’m able to easily navigate the street. I get a little lost but when I see The High Noon I know I’m close to her neighborhood.
I take a deep breath and start jogging through the quiet neighborhood. The back of my neck prickles as I enter the lane. Her hazy orange porch light is like a beacon. The only sign of life on the abandoned lane. Sera is laying on the front porch in a very small insignificant backless black tank top and jogging pants. Music is playing from her phone and she seems transfixed by the stars. She takes a hit of her vape and practically dares me to say anything.
The Order cross she’d untangled yesterday sits prominently against her chest. Sera had spent years trying to find a church that completely fit and accepted her. I, a belligerent Atheist, probably hadn’t been very helpful.
After a while she sits up and takes out her septum ring followed by her earrings, “ “What’s your safe word ?”
“Indigo.”
She rolls her eyes and heads inside. I only get a glimpse of her house before following her into the garage. Somehow there is more stuff in her house than there was yesterday. I wasn’t even sure why I came here but Sera seemed to know. She always seemed to know.
“Do you need a refresher on my rules ?” She asks holding up the laminated sheet
“No, Sir.”
“You can call me Mistress. Wait here.”
I nod. She steps away for a second and comes back wearing a skirt short enough I can almost see the faded ‘Hedonist’ tattoo on the back of her ass.
She unzips my jacket and takes off my shirt. Followed by my shoes and pants.
“On your knees. Give me your wrist, baby”. She attaches them to a lead hanging from her ceiling. She then runs a finger up my back.
“This is my favorite part of a man”, She traces the scar from my infection, She moves to trace the scars on my face. I usually hated having them touched, “ Paris, I think scars are beautiful. It’s what’s left after pain has been endured. That’s my whole business. Let’s see how much more you can endure. You ready ?”
“Yes ..Mistress.”
She turned on some music and purple lights dim and throb with the beat.
I don’t anticipate the first sting on my back and I’m pretty sure that’ s my fault for not paying attention. There is a long hollow burn that follows. The second one clears my head for a few seconds. I can’t think of anything else by the fourth one. After the fifth one the pain radiates but it’s not bad. Not enough pressure to trigger my fucked up back.
“We’re halfway there, baby”, she says, kneeling close enough to kiss me, “You’re doing so good. Show me how much you can take. Will you do that for me?”
“No. Indigo. I need a break." Sera unclips the lead so I can relax my arms. She hands me a lukewarm bottle of water and sits on the floor next to me. After a while she lays me on my stomach and puts a cooling herbal salve on my back..
“You could have handled more”, she says taking a sip of the water, “You just needed to know I would stop . I respect that.”
”If I was a rich man I’m buy every hour of your day. I’d never let anyone else have you.”
“This session wasn’t that good.”
“I don’t think anyone else is a good fit for me.”
“How about a standing appointment once a month. We’ll consider it alimony. I’ll even come to you.”
“You’ll fly 1700 miles.”
“New York is farther than that.”
“I’m thinking about taking the Midwest deal.” I flatten my palms against the floor. I hated how viscerally my anxiety could take over. Sera moves her hands down my back in an attempt to soothe my muscles, but it’s mostly just skin and bones.
“…Duluth has great views of the lake.” She says, “It’s one of the Great Lakes. I have a picture around here somewhere. I’ll have you look for it at our next session.”
“I mean I haven’t made a decision yet—Fuck. “
“What ? Does something hurt–”
“Youre treating me like a fucking client.”
“You are a client.”
“You’re treating me like the kind of client you bullshit. The pseudotherapy aftercare bullshit. Disengious small talk The little subliminal quip about the future to get me to book another session---“
She strikes me hard across the face.
“Don’t you ever talk to me like that in my fucking house” She gets on her knees to get eye level with me, “Maybe it’s disingenuous bullshit to you but not to me. I respect my clients and every person that walks or crawls in here. You taught me that.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just not used to being treated like that by you.”
“Paris, You don’t want me to treat you like you belong to me. I mean really belong to me Not that domestic submission bullshit you used to be so fucking good at.”
“I do.” I’m not sure if I do, but I want something more, “Treat me like I'm yours, Mistress.”
“I’m going to make you regret that.”
Sera retrieves a pair of scissors from one of the tool organizers and cuts my boxers off. She pushes a button on the wall panel and the rig in the ceiling lowers. She retrieves my belt from the pile of clothes and loops one end around my neck. She secures the other end to the rig and adjust it so if I lean to far forward I'll choke.
She ties my hands very tightly behind my back along with my ankles.She’s fast and efficient. My fingers start to feel a little numb. I wriggle my wrist to loosen it just a smidge—she just makes it tighter.
“Focus”, she hits me hard across the face again, “You shouldn’t be thinking about anything other than me and how to please me. Do you understand ?
“Yes…Mistress.”
She takes a tray out of the sterilizer and fastens on a very tight vegan leather cock ring.
“It’s…to tigh-”
“Shut up”, She secures it in place behind my testicles, “It’s just right. Do you know how hard it is to find one this small.”
She fists my cock to make the ring a little bit tighter.
Since I have to keep my head up I follow her across the room. Sera was always so focused. She always knew what she was about and did things confidently. Even when she had an awkward misstep I always remembered thinking it was cute. She finds a blindfold and gently slips it across my eyes. In the dark I am acutely aware of every sensation thrumming in my body
She’s maybe standing in front of me admiring her work. I wasn’t the kind of man Sera usually liked to have at her mercy, but I was a man and that would do it for her sometimes. I hear her walk behind me. She grabs my hair and pulls my head back hard. She lets go and I hear her pick something up.
The sting across my back feels different this time. It was a hard snap that made my blood rise and a strange warmth flooded through me. The pain followed, it flowed like a river down my back before it was interrupted by another wave of pleasurable warmth. It continued in an unending cycle down from my back to my thighs. The cock ring feels unbearably tight, but I didn’t feel numb so I wasn’t concerned.
I thought my nose had started bleeding but the salty taste in my mouth was from my eyes dampening the blind fold. The belt around my neck makes it impossible to stand or readjust. I relax into the position. It had been a long time since I felt that moment when pain turns into pleasure. Into complete surrender. I stop trying to control everything and just allow myself to feel. Sera winds her hands in my hair and pulls my neck up hard.
Fuck.
A flash of pain erupts at the base of my cock. The ring had snapped and forced me to come hard. It was too sudden and too painful to enjoy but I still felt the instinct to fuck something. It’s only when I feel that last bit of release that I realize I can’t breathe. I’d fallen forward causing the belt around my neck to tighten. Shit. I didn’t have the core strength to re-balance myself.
Sera’s erratic footsteps should have caused me to panic but I felt comforted knowing she was there. Sera pulls me back up and cuts the belt off. I feel something euphoria-related as I take in a full breath. Sera removes the blindfold and quickly unties me.
“Shit,” Sera kicks the broken pieces of the cock ring aside and inspects me, “Are you okay ?”
“Please fire me.” I manage.
Sera drops a first aid kit on the floor and puts on a pair of gloves. The ring hadn’t broken any skin. I didn’t even feel sore. The clinical way she’s inspecting my penis is a little concerning but she eventually takes off the gloves and kicks the kit away, “Are you okay ?”
“I’m a little frustrated.”
“That wasn’t supposed to break like that.”
“That’s how bad I want to fuck you. Fire me, please.”
“No.”
“Fire me so I fuck you Seraphina. Then you can hire me again.”
“You really have lost all that self-control I used to beat into you.”
“I have. Teach me again.”
She ignores me and unties my hands and legs. She grabs the salve again and starts to apply it to my back. Now I really need it. She’d been brutal. I glance up at the mirrored ceiling and see the dark welts.
I turn my head slightly back to meet Sera’s deep blue eyes. Having her full attention is deeply fulfilling. She lowers her chin and makes the mistake of chastely kissing me. I turn fully and take her mouth, forcing my tongue between those cruel full lips. She tries to break the kiss but I don’t let her. I push aside her thong and manage to slip a finger inside her. Did all of her clients make her this wet ? Sera grabs my wrist so hard it almost breaks. She doesn’t let go until I pull my hand away.
“Stop. You need to rest.”
“You feel like you need to come.”
She rolls her eyes and reaches for the wall panel. The lights in the room turn a cool blue. She turns on a diffuser that fills the room with the scent of fresh water and sage. A hushed rain sound plays ambiently in the background.
She takes a vape pen out of a smaller sterilizer and settles back on the floor next to me. She puts it up to my lips.
“Take one hit. To help you calm down. It’s really good for aftercare”
I shake my head.
She stretches out on the floor in front of me and takes a hit. She’s just within arms’ reach in that impossibly short skirt she’d decided to change into. She is testing me. I could be good. I could have some self control. I could look and not touch. Or I could do the opposite. Sometimes Sera liked things a little rough and forceful. Of course whenever I tried to do it, it always came off as bratty.
She reaches for her tablet and changes the ambient sound to a waterfall. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sera flip to the security camera app to check the front yard. I bolt upright and all the blood in my body rushes to my head.
“Whoa. Paris lay dow—“
“What the fuck, Sera.” I snap at her.
“What ? What's wrong ?”
I grab my pants out of the pile and flip the lights on. I scan the garage. Where did we put the security camera? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I see the camera blinking in the top right corner of the ceiling. I grab the chair from the little desk and reach it. My fingers barely graze it.
“Paris. Get down. Paris. You’re going to hurt–”
“If you’re not going to help Shut the fuck up, Seraphina.”
“Paris. What the hell is wrong with you.”
I stretch to grab the camera and topple off the chair. I hit the floor hard. Thankfully the gym mats are still down.
The smooth surface of the camera in my hand provides me monetary relief. I grab my shoe and smash the camera into pieces ... .which was a bad move since the footage wasn’t on the camera.
“Paris…” Sera says cautiously.
“Indigo. Delete it. Delete it right fucking now.” My throat is tightening. I’m not sure she can understand me, “The fucking footage, Sera.”
“Oh. Um. I don’t know how. You put the fucking thing up”, Sera useless tries to open the menu bar on the app. She somehow makes the footage zoom in and play in reverse. It had a wide angle and a sharp hyper-color filter, just like the footage I was blackmailed with a few years ago. I take the device from her and delete the footage before she accidentally posts it for the world to see.
I duck into the bathroom and have a full-blown panic attack as quietly as I can.
“Paris”, Sera knocks on the door , “Are you okay ?”
“I’m okay”, I lie. I try to convince myself I am safe. That there was nothing to be afraid of. My body refuses to comply. I turn on the shower and that helps a little. I scrub my skin raw with the individually packaged lavender soap and dehydrated natural sponges in the small bathroom. When the panic attack eases up I unlock the door.
My black pullover is neatly folded by the door with my Ativan nestled on top with a tiny aluminum water bottle. The dungeon has been cleaned and reset. The smell of bleach and disinfectant is oddly calming. Fuck. I must have been in there for at least an hour.
I get dressed and take the door into the house. I trip over a motorcycle helmet on the floor. It glides into a pile of dented beer cans stacked in the corner.The portable dryer on the floor somehow had more clothes spilling out of it than it did when I came in. Sera is laying on her bed in a black t-shirt and boxers eating more protein packed nut butter instead of actual food. She sits up when she sees me.
“You went to my hotel room ?” I clutch the Ativan.
“That’s where your medicine was.”
“I’m sorry I freaked out on you. I don't think I’m going to be able to do this BDSM shit anymore. I think I’ve lost it. ”
“Was that about those Doms that blackmailed you ?” She joins me by the door.
“Yeah. I’ve never been betrayed like that by the community. I’m supposed to be this sex positive figure but I hated that video. I hated the way I looked and I hated having a visual reminder of me not standing up for myself. The only reason they even threatened to leak it was because I sued them. I just needed help paying for my medical bills.
The worst part is they kept saying it was my fault I got hurt. I wasn’t communicating. Maybe that was my fault. When I saw that video just now. It all came back.”
“I would never do that to you. I’ve always kept things private.”
“I know… the rational side of my brain knows that. I don’t think I’m cut out for this anymore.”
Sera’s jaw tightens, “Maybe it will take more sessions. I won’t even charge you my usual rate.”
She goes into the kitchen and forces a jar of chocolate pecan nut butter and celery on me, “You need to eat something.”
“Sera, I don’t think I need a Dom anymore.”
“Trust me you do.”
“That part of my life is over. I don’t know where I’m going next but I’d like you to visit me sometimes. We could be friends with some very vanilla benefits”
“Maybe.”
“I know a ‘no’ when I hear one.”
“I can’t do vanilla benefits with you. The whole time I’ll just want you tied up on the floor obsessing over me.”
“If you can’t fix me no one can.”
Her posture shifts a little. She’s pissed off. Offended ?
“Sera…I meant to ask you about Hippolyta.”
“What about her ?”
“You said she only made 4 of the crosses. If she has proof she sold one to AJ we can use that and other evidence to get him to talk and let me be his lawyer.”
“Other evidence ?”, she says. I’m not sure I should tell Sera about the knife just yet.
“I’m not at liberty to say just yet.”
She raises an eyebrow, “Not at liberty ?”
I pivot slightly.
“Hippolyta’s in Tacoma right now. We can drive up in the morning. You know she’ll tell you anything.”
“Sure. Things are so slow at the bar I’m sure I can take off.”
“We’ll leave first thing.” “
It’s just before midnight when I get back to the Days Inn. Sera had offered to drive but I wasn’t about to get on her motorcycle and I didn’t want her to have to pull the RV around.
When I get into bed I pull up the footage on Sera’s tablet. I figure out how to delete it but I manage to watch a little. It’s a little easier to look at myself when she’s also in the frame. I zoom in on Sera when I steal that kiss from her. Her eyes never close.I hadn’t even noticed the way she parted her thighs as my hand traveled up her leg. Or the way her hand rested on my cheek and guided the kiss—always in control.
No cliff hanger here. These chapters are a little off because I wrote the next few as ONE BIG Chapter.