+1+
“Is it us?” Sera asks sliding in to the passenger seat.
Sven’s memorial service was as colorful as his life. I learned he was only 37 years-old and had been in the business for twenty years. Guilt plagued me all morning as I listened to a new age practitioner give a detailed account of Sven’s aura and how he’d filled his life with art, passion and travel. The eulogies went on for hours. His eclectic group of friends, lovers, patrons and collaborates was extensive.
“Are we attracting death ?" Sera asks as I turn onto the turnpike and head back to Harrison County.
Sera hadn’t been crying when I went into the basement after she got the call. Her phone had been on the floor and someone was talking a mile a minute on the other end. She’d been on her knees just staring at her hands. She’d turned on me in an instant. At first I thought she knew.
“Get out.” She’d snapped.
I quickly realized I’d violated her space and she did not want me to see her cry.
If she noticed anything off when she told me, she didn’t let it show. We’d sat on the couch together as texts and e-mails kept pinging Sera’s cell phone. Our argument was suddenly so insignificant. Eventually Sera packed a bag and drove to the Williamsburg. She had to see if he was really gone. 11 other people had the same thought when they heard the news.
Sera had spent the week in the overcrowded loft while Sven’s agent and roommates planned the celebration service. Luckily was on a Saturday so I didn’t have to explain to my already tense work place that I was going to another funeral. I took a bus into the city so I could drive back with Sera.
My confession was on my lips the entire time. His service was held in a converted loft that had been decorated with his artwork and photography. The service was sountracked with Swedish trap music. I sat dutifully in the front row with Sera. She, along with Sven’s twelve other lovers, was given a pink rose during the service. Sera didn’t speak at the funeral even though she had a few notes scrawled on a sheet of paper. I would have happily spoken for her but she kept her words to herself.
It was a closed casket, but I heard someone mention how a tasteful the cravat was chosen to cover his injury. At the end I placed my hand on his white and black marble casket. It felt warm to the touch. I respected the life Sven made for himself. He’d had to work in the shadows because the law didn’t approve of all his activities. Workers like him were why I wanted to fight to protect sex work. He never wanted validation but I wanted that for him.
Now I’m the reason he died. The reason Al died. So many bodies. I push down the nausea rolling through me.
“I know you two didn’t get along but you’ve been quiet.” Sera says.
“It’s just been a lot lately. I haven’t found a new therapist yet. So I’m just trying to deal.”
“Hm.”
What did that mean? Did she know? I change the subject.
“Did you tell Emile you wouldn’t be able to meet with the teen advisory board today?”
Sven’s funeral happen to fall on the same day Sera and Emile had planned to get the teen advisory board together for a gun safety lesson.
“No. I still want to do it”, Sera says to my surprise, “I need a distraction. Besides my guns are already in the trunk.”
“They are? I crossed state lines.”
She rolls her damn eyes at me and all the fire from our argument last week reignites in me. Because Sera had gone to Williamsburg we hadn’t had time to really talk after I accused her of working with Day to kill me. It all made sense to me. Day had her phone number. Day thought she was hot and he was her type. Her earring was in Day’s house. In his fucking bedroom. I’d also noticed that Day worked out at the rec center around the same time Sera did.
I took stock of my current situation. We were alone and Sera was emotionally vulnerable. Maybe this was my chance to get real answers from her. Sera had just unknowingly given me an idea of how I could be more persuasive.
We drove in silence for a while. A dangerous plan forming in my mind. I knew these roads well since I’d coordinated our move. I waited for just the right exit and took it.
“Where are you going?” Sera asks immediately.
“A warning flashed.”
“Where?”
Sera tapped at the display she just barely knew how to use.
I turn off the main road and pull into the gigantic parking lot of a mega church. It’s quiet and slightly isolated. I look around to make sure there are no witness for what I’m about to do next. I take a deep breath and pull around to the back of the church. Sera seems confused but not alarmed.
“I’ll call Leon maybe we put something in wrong.” She says.
How could she casually talk about the chop job she did on her car to get away with almost killing a woman. Sure, I’d played it cool at Sven’s funeral on the outside but inside I was a wreck. I felt something. Sera was cold inside and out.
“I’ll take a look." I get out the car.
“Let’s deal with it later. I want to get back.”
“I’ll just be a second.”
I pull out my phone and turn the car’s child safety locks on. I open the rear trunk and sure enough her gun cases are sitting there along with a target and box of blanks. I open the gun case. The red one is safely tucked in there--but the bright pink one is still missing.
Sera is banging on the window now realizing I’d locked her in. The lining of the trunk is askew, I push it aside and notice something hidden underneath. I see it is my (Hmjeu’s) leather messenger bag. I’d abandoned this bag when I got trapped in the fire. I assumed it burned up because no one ever found it. I guess the arsonist went back for it. Sera went back for it. I take a deep breath and pull the red gun out of the case.
Then I load it.
I’d never gone shooting with Sera but I knew the basics. I knew not to apply pressure to the trigger unless I was ready for the consequences. I grip the trigger and unlock the passenger side door.
“Why did you lock me—what the fuck are you doing?” Sera drops her phone when she realizes I’m pointing a loaded gun at her. I kick the phone under the car.
“Get out the car, Sera.”
“Paris, what the hell? Put that down right now. You don’t know what you are doing.”
I just wanted her to talk to me. I just needed to make her talk. That’s all I was doing. Sera was difficult and I was just trying to get answers.
“No”, I say, “You’re not giving orders anymore Sera. Get out.”
“You are not going to—“
I accidentally squeeze the trigger and launch a bullet into the asphalt. The blow back is intense but I recover quickly. Sera didn’t even flinch.
“You’re going to hurt yourself.” She warns calmly, “Put it down.”
“Get the fuck out the car, Seraphina”, I shout. I never raise my voice and it felt…good.
She’s a little shaken but tries to hide it. She folds her arms and crosses her legs. She glares at me from behind her black veil fascinator. Her thick layers of makeup was begging to melt in the heat. Her lips were still a bright magenta. Sven’s favorite color.
“What are you going to do, Paris. Kill me? You can’t kill anyone. Get in the car -“
“I killed Sven”, it comes out like a threat.
Sera’s expression falters. It feels strangely triumphant.
“No”, she says shaking her head, “It was an accident.”
“It was my fault”, I say gripping the gun, “I snuck into the city to see him because I was trying to find out what happened since you won’t fucking tell me. I have one body on my conscious. I think I handle another.”
“You could never hurt me”, Sera says calmly but she’s scared. She’s so fucking scared, “And you didn’t kill Sven. Sven’s anchors weren’t stable. He rushed setting up the rig-- He shouldn’t have been practicing self-suspension without a spotter. It was an accident.”
Her voice is so soft. She is trying to subdue me with her calm voice and pretty eyes. I taste salt and realize I am crying.
“I slammed the door”, I tell her my voice breaking on every word, “Then he…the noise…I went back in and he…I saw him.”
“Paris”, she says getting out the car and walking towards me in the slutty off the shoulder black dress she’d worn for his funeral, “It’s an old building. The walls in that loft are fake and unsteady. The rig was unstable. It fell all the time when we would try things at his place…but I was always there to spot him. If it hadn’t been your door slam it would have been another. It wasn’t your fault. He made a mistake. Now put that gun down.”
I want to believe her but I can’t. She is working me. Trying to get me to submit to her. She was treating me like child. No one had ever treated me like a child. Even when I was one.
I take a deep breath and grip the trigger again, “I’ll put the gun away when you tell me what you did that night.”
She folds her arms. She wasn’t going to talk. She was so fucking stubborn.
“Sven told me someone called you, Seraphina. Who was it? Was it Day?”
“Paris-”
I shoot at the ground by accident again. Sera jumps back. I hold the gun with both hands to keep it steady.
“Shut up. Get on your knees”, I say. My wrist were pulled tight.
“Give me—“
I squeeze the trigger again and asphalt sprays everywhere.
I have no idea what I am doing but I need her to break. I want her looking up
at me and telling me the truth. Sera gracefully gets on her knees, sitting back
a little on her ankles.
“You drive everyone crazy, you know that Seraphina? I’ve watched it for years. Everyone loves you because you’re so fucking gorgeous, quiet and can’t keep your legs closed.” I say, “The truth is you’re selfish. You’re a mean bitch and crazy enough to kill someone.”
Her eyes are rimmed in red and defiant.
“What do you think I did?” she asks.
“I think you and Day are working together. He wants me gone so I won’t report the embezzlement and you’ve been bitching about having to leave the city since I graduated law school. I think Day called you. I think Day told you he was planning on killing me in the fire. I think you helped. I think Sky tried to warn me and you chased her down and ran her off the road.”
“Paris…I don’t feel well.” She was shaking a little bit but the truth would do that to you.
“I was supposed to be the one to take care of you. But I just keep fucking it up. With me gone you could come back to the city and your studio and your lovers and not have to deal with my failures. “
“I love you, Paris. If I told you the truth it would destroy you.”
“Did you set the fire?”
“Fuck…I’m shaking Paris. I can’t breathe, Paris.”
She was talking which meant she was breathing fine.
“Did you try to kill me?”
“I don’t feel well—“
“Are you working with Day?”
She bites her lips and starts breathing harder. Why won’t she answer the questions?
“Why did you run Sky Day off the road?”
“I can’t tell you.” she takes in a deep breath and presses her forehead to the ground, “I have always been on your side. I get angry but I am always on your side, Paris.”
I get on the ground and grab Sera’s cell phone from under the car.
“What’s the code?”
“All ones…”
I open it and flip through her calls. All her calls are with me, Aria or Leon. She had tons of text from her friends from Boston and a long list of group chats. I scroll to the day of the fire to around the time she left Hidalgo and Sven.
Nothing
No incoming calls for that day.
I throw the phone into the car.
Of course
She’d gotten the call on her other phone. Her red iPhone
“Sera, where is your other phone—“
She’s gone.
I turn around and see her running for toward through the massive parking lot to the main road. My first thought is---if she gets away and tells someone I pulled a gun on her, my career will be over. Luckily her heels slow her down. I run as fast as I can to catch up to her, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her down to the hot asphalt. She tries to knock the gun out of my hand but I keep a grip. In the melee I accidentally squeeze the outer rim and it goes off.
“Fuck”, Sera goes completely still and I manage to untangle myself from her. She wasn’t hit. She’d just stopped fighting me.
“What were you thinking running like that? Get in the car, Seraphina”, to my surprise she walks back to the car, “Get in the backseat.”
“I can’t…breathe. Can…we go home“
“Not until I get answers.”
Sere glances at the gun in my hand gets into the backseat. This was awful but it was working. I was getting her to listen to me. I quickly run to the trunk and grab the handcuffs out of her travel case and slip them round her wrist. I then affix the cuffs to the head rest. I just couldn’t have her run again.
I sit in the backseat next to her. Her forehead is against the front headrest. Thin black lines of mascara and eyeliner run down her check.
“Seraphina. Tell me what you did or this won’t end well.”
Sera tightens her jaw and shakes her head.
“Seraphina. If you
don’t tell me the truth I’ll tell Detective Rainer that we faked out alibi.
I’ll tell her you ran Sky off the road. If Sky dies that’s…homicide. I’ll get a
deal and you’ll be locked in a cage”
She tries to take in a deep breath but a low hollow gasps comes out instead. She tries again and I realize she really can’t breathe. I realize (from my own experience) that she is having panic attack. She starts choking and I immediately think of Sven. How careless I’d been with him in pursuit of what I wanted.
I search for the keys to the handcuffs and find nothing. Her failed attempts at breathing cause her to panic more. She freaks out even more when she sees the gun.
“Fuck”, I put the gun on the ground and climb back into the backseat, “Listen to me. You’re okay. You are not suffocating. Breathe in. Hold it…okay out. Breathe in for me again. You’re okay, baby. I’m not going to hurt you. Breathe in for me…slowly.”
She follows my guided breathing and I watch the panic subside from her body. The fear that had gripped her was slowly fading away. It suddenly occurs to me why she is having a panic attack. It had been nearly a decade but she and Leon had been jumped in parking lot senior year of high school. I’d heard rumors that Helios’ crew had beaten the shit out of Leon and raped her in the back of the car they were living in.
“You’re okay”, I say and get out the car, “Let me see if I can find the keys to the cuffs.”
I rummage through the car again but I can’t find the keys for the cuffs. I kick the car out of frustration.
I go back to Sera. She’s calmed down but she still seems shaken. In our scuffle she’s lost her hat and one of her shoes. I find both of the items in the parking lot and put them in the car. I had bolt cutters at the house. We could go home and I could cut her loose. But then this horrible scene would have been for nothing.
I reconsider.
I approach her and try to sound somewhat sane.
“Seraphina, if you want to go home I just need you to tell me who called you.”
She doesn’t answer.
Fuck.
“Look at me Seraphina. You are not in control anymore. You are going to tell me everything that happened that night.”
She blinks and a few residual tears fall. I watch as her controlled expression slips back into place, “Fuck you--.”
I lunge at her. Then I black out and suddenly my hands are around her neck. Why was she like this? So fucking dismissive. So fucking cold. This fucking parking lot horror show meant nothing to her. She felt nothing. Meanwhile I felt helpless. I felt helpless all the time. I just wanted her to feel as helpless as I was. Just for a few minutes. I wanted her to come crawling to me like she had for Sven. I wanted her to beg for me like she did Hidalgo. I realize I could only see the whites of her eyes and stopp applying pressure.
I loosen my grip on her neck and forced my mouth to hers before she can turn away. I shove her dress over her waist and slid my hand under the intricate black ribbon, lace and gold embroidered thong she’ worn for a dead man. It’s wet because she’s such a fucking whore. She pulls on the restraints again, she is strong but they didn’t give. I kiss her again, she tastes like the salt of my tears and the Dom Pérignon everyone had after the service. I bite down hard on her mouth and she tightens around the two finger I already have inside her
“You’re such a fucking slut.” I whisper into her ear, “You want me to fuck you, don’t you. Beg me to fuck you.”
Then I remember she can’t talk with my hand around her throat. I let my hand travel to the thin gold chain around her neck I snap the thin chain holding the key around her neck. I wanted her to feel all my anger, fear and frustration. She pulls against the cuffs and opens her leg a little; desperate to touch herself --but I wasn’t going to let her enjoy this. She always gets what she wants. Not this time. I close my eyes and breathe in her expensive cologne. Fuck it feels good to be selfish. I get a little pissed when I hear her moaning and feel her high heels scratching at my legs. She always get what she wants. Not this time. At least that’s what I told myself. She manages to tighten her thighs around me keeping me in place. I ignored the urge to wait for her, when I'm close I push in deeper, pull out and come on her thighs because she hates that.
I take a few steps back and walk around the car. I also survey the scene. We were thankfully still alone. Sera pushes herself upright; her dress is still pulled up and her thong is caught in her heels. I step away from the car and put myself together. When I circle back to the car something smacks me hard in the face.
“Ow.”
I look down and see Sera had thrown the handcuffs at me.
I pick the cuffs up and study them. Upon closer inspection I realize they have self-releases on the inside. That’s why I couldn’t find the keys. There weren’t any.
She could have gotten herself out the entire time. As if to highlight this fact my face starts throbbing a little from where the cuffs had hit me.
“Sera what the fuck--”
“I don’t want to hear it”, she says rubbing her wrist, “Put that gun back where you found it. Don’t you ever touch my guns again. There are some wipes in my travel case. Clean up this mess you made. Also pick up the shell casing and every single one of those bullets. I’ve had a draining day and I’m beyond ready to go home. ”
She was at a breaking point and the tone in her vice made me do exact what she said. It took me forever to find the flattened bullets and shattered cases. By the time I was done I‘d sweat through my shirt. Once I have everything in the trunk I reluctantly go back to Sera.
“Were you even really having a panic attack ?” I ask with way more bravado that I have.
She looks up and her next words are surprisingly soft, “Yes.”
“Sera I—“
“Then”, she says and I hear the familiar contempt in her voice, “I realized what an absolute brat you were being.”
“I’ve just been really—“
“I’ve heard this is how male submissives are. You train them well, but all that alpha male toxic masculinity bullshit they are taught builds up. They get resentful and have little outburst, especially when they are stressed. Every Domme has a way of dealing with it. So I just let you throw your little tantrum, and let you think you were in control to get it out of your system. I always expected better of you Paris. But…we’re not going to have this problem anymore, right?”
“Yes. I went too far. I shouldn’t have--”
“You only did what I let you do, Paris”, She cuts in. Then adds coolly, “You only ever get to do what I let you do.”
“Sera. I feel like I’m at the end of the line. You’re the only person I’ve ever trusted and you keep hiding things from. Please tell me what happened that night.”
She sighs.
“How about this? If Sky dies in that coma I will tell you everything. If she wakes up…well she’ll tell everyone. Right now we have to let things play out. Just know I am always on your side. Always.”
“Will you at least tell me if you set the fire?”
“I didn’t set the fire”, she says and gets back into the passenger seat. I hurry to the driver’s side and turn the air on.
“Sera…Are you working with Day?”
“No. I love you. I would never want you dead. I don’t care enough about Harrison County to want to burn it down. Your happiness is all I’ve ever cared about. I need you to trust me.”
I nod realizing I did trust her. Yes, I wanted to know who lead Sera back to town and why she ran Skylar day off the road. A part of me believed Sera had her reasons and (maybe) I should trust her.
“Okay. I’ll let things play.”
“Okay. Let’s go home.”
+2+
When we got to the house I don’t want to let Seraphina out of my sight. I am mostly concerned about her panic attack. She said she was fine but I knew how these things could circle back around. I wait by the door while she showers. Afterward she scrubs every trace of make-up and dirt from her face and throws on a pair of loose jeans and oversized black t-shirt.
“Are you going to keep watching me”, Sera asks pulling her wet hair into a bun.
“I really fucked up. I pulled a gun on you. I already feel like I’m losing myself.
“Everything will be fine, love”, She says. Her cold hands gently caress the side of my face. I want so badly to believe her. Sera settles in her reading chair and lets me rest my head in her lap. She runs her hand through my hair—which was in desperate need of a trim. She traces my scar and the deep hollow there.
“Sera… did you mean what you said about Sven. That it wasn’t my fault?”
She pauses her ministrations. For a moment remembering that her friend was no longer here.
“You didn’t kill Sven. It was an accident.”
Sera gets up and reaches for her key ring. I grab it off the table first.
“Paris. I have to get to Emile’s. I’m fine.”
“Let me drive you.”
“I can handle it.”
“I know. I need to talk to Emile anyway. He’s been keeping some documents for me.”
+++
Sera looks up in awe at Emile’s estate much in the same way I had. In the daylight the stately neoclassical manse looks both out of place and timeless. I park in the circular driveway and open Sera’s door. Emile jogs out the front door but stops when he sees me.
“Paris”, Emile says, “I didn’t expect you.”
“I thought I could check on the documents I left here.”
“Right. Of course. They are in the parlor safe”, he says, “Come on. Say hello to everyone.”
“I thought we were early”, I look around the empty driveway.
“Everyone else parked in the back. Come in.”
I follow him through the house and out to the backyard. Last time I was here I hadn’t noticed the open air and modern floor plan. The backyard is a reluctant blend of classical and modern design. The palatial patio looked out onto miles of freshly cut green grass. The inset sleek gray pool is framed by a dramatic (unlit) fire element. The patio is lined with bistro tables and a modest wet bar. I spot Kylie Day sitting on one of the tables surrounded by Lydia and a few other teens. There are two parents at a faraway table drinking wine and sharing an impressive looking charcuterie board.
“Hello, everyone”, I say and due to my position I feel the need to make a speech. Even though I didn’t really approve of Sera’s hobby, “First let me say that I personally believe in tightening gun control and preventing incidents like what happened last year. But being married to a gun-owner I’ve learned how the current laws can work and what measure can be taken to handle firearms effectively. Maybe that’s something you all can take away today.”
“Okay everyone”, Emile says stepping forward, “So, Mrs. Prince had this idea—“
“Sera is fine”, she cuts in.
“Right. Sera and I had a conversation about guns and gun safety. I thought it might be a good topic for us to explore.”
“I know”, she starts unsure, “There have been a lot of bad shootings and that guns kill people—but I think it’s an option when you need to feel safe. I think learning and knowing how a gun works is helpful.”
“Have you ever shot anyone”, Kylie asks.
“No. Never”, she says looking up at me, “You have to be ready and willing to accept the worst possible outcome when you point a gun at someone.”
“Can I shoot it?” Kylie asks hoping off the table.
Sera looks to me for an answer.
“Uh”, I state running through what I knew about Connecticut gun laws, “It’s filled with blanks so legally yes. But I think since your parents---Dad isn’t here that would be a no. sorry.”
“Okay”, Emile says, “I’m an adult. So I guess that means I can give it a try. It’s very …red.”
“Hold on”, Sera says fitting bright pink eye and ear protection over Emile, “Only aim at the target.”
I decide to head into the parlor to check on my dossier. Emile had left the safe open and I find it nestled between two Birkin bags and a diamond ring. I flip through the dossier and jot down notes. I had this information but wasn’t sure what my next move should be. I couldn’t hunker down and let Day run for governor knowing he’d done this.
“Find it?” I jump at the sound of Emile’s voice. He leans against the doorway and I peer outside.
“You left her out there with children?”
“A few parents are out there”, He says closing the parlor doors, “I read through that entire dossier. It’s pretty scandalous stuff. You have to promise me an exclusive to book rights.”
“You’re a writer?”
“You could say. I got one book published in the 90s…it was a flop, but I’ve got a few book deals in the works. A historical true crime and a book about early Etruscans folklore and stories”
“If I get out of this alive you have a deal.”
“Any leads on who tried to kill you?”
I swallow.
“Not Seraphina”, I say for sure and realize I actually mean it.
“So…Cortland?”
I thought about this.
“I don’t know. I have to do some more digging.”
We lock the dossier back up and I follow Emile back outside. The teens seem to have moved on from today’s activity and are sitting around a table drinking colorful mason jar mocktails with Sera.
“I didn’t even really see anything that day”, Lydia is saying, “But whenever I walk into school I just get scared it’s going to happen again. I really don’t think it’s fair that those guys were able to just find those guns. I wish it was like Japan or Europe. I think it’s really messed up.”
Sera leans in a little bit.
“I’m sorry”, Sera says, “I…something like that happened to me and. I guess I just got more upset at the person holding it than the thing itself…”
Lydia sinks further into her seat.
“I don’t know I’m kind of into it”, Kylie says shrugging her shoulders, “I’ve always wanted to go to that new shooting range in Lowell county. My Dad has a membership and you only have to be 16 to practice. My mom’s family shoots for sport all the time, Lydia. No one has ever gotten hurt.”
“Except the animals”, Lydia pouts.
“You ate like half the duck my uncle killed last Christmas.” Kylie says light-heartedly trying to get a smile out of her friend.
“Wait”, Paxton says while typing on his phone, “Shooting is in the Olympics. I think we found a sport Kylie might be able to do”
“Shut up’, Kylie says playfully batting the kid, “I can kind of do soft ball.”
Lydia stands up, “It’s not funny, you guys. I hate this. I didn’t even want to come. No offense Ms. Sera.”
“It’s okay”, Sera says.
“Oh. Thanks”, Lydia says slowly sitting back down, “And like not to be rude but how did you do your makeup at the party it looked so natural and glamour. You looked like a completely different person.”
“…the internet…I guess.”
“See. I need to learn that so I can find a high school sweetheart to marry too.”
Sera closes her eyes which is what she does when she doesn’t want people to see her roll them.
“Mr. Prince wasn’t my high school sweetheart. He was just some nerd I teased for a few weeks.”
I don’t even bother to defend myself. She was being generous. I was less of a nerd and more of a total asshole. Maybe I still was.
“That’s still romantic”, Lydia decides.
Emile take the moment to come over.
“Let’s call it a day for right now. I’ll set a meeting up for next month and we can see what service projects and events we want to work on for the fall semester. We can also talk fundraising and the junior class field trip. We usually meet Mondays at 6:00pm. Does that work for you, Sera?”
The kids look at Sera expectantly. Emile had suggested Sera volunteer for the teen advisory board but now he wasn’t giving her much of a choice.
“I…yes. Okay.”
The teens quickly jet off. I watch as Paxton goads Kylie into racing him back to his bright orange Trailblazer. He zigs and zags—seemingly going out of his way to make the girl he had a crush on laugh. Making her forget the fucked up home life she has to return to. Fuck to be young again.
“Kids seems to like you. I think we’d make a good team”, Emile says to Sera while gathering all the glasses, “I don’t suppose you have an expertise in anything other than guns?”
“Just sex”, she says not sure if that’s what he wants to hear, “I mean sex positivity or whatever Paris is always saying.”
Emile considers this.
“That could come definitely come up around teenagers”, Emile says and gestures to the house, ““Come on, let me show you the kind of projects we’ve done.”
Sera picks up some dishes and follows him inside.
My eye catch on a champagne Jeep parked on the edge of the lawn. I walk towards it and see scratches of red paint on the front end. This was the car that chased me that night. The car beeps and I see Lydia and her Dad coming towards me.
“Mr…” I start realizing I don’t know his name or Lydia’s last name.
“Mr. Prince”, Lydia’s Dad starts “I’m sorry Lydia got a little mouthy with your wife. Lydia’s very outspoken.“
“What? That’s fine. I…your car”, I say a million things going through my head.
Lydia’s dad sighs and shakes his head.
“You heard about my car being stolen? The Lowell county police found it abandoned in the mall parking lot. Hey, maybe you could use your sway to get Rainer to look into. I want somebody charged. Al was a great guy but I think Rainer is putting too much man power on this arson case. Between you and me it was probably some drunk college kids messing around.”
“Messing around with gallons lighter fluid?”
“…is that how it was started. That wasn’t in the papers.”
I’d said too much. I only knew that because I was there
“You live in Cherrywood Villa with Day. How did the car get stolen? Aren’t the exits monitored?”
I realize I know the answer before he says it.
“Cameras were shut off that day. They said it was a system glitch but I found out they fired a guard because he turned if off manually. He swears it was an accident. Such a fucking pain.”
“It was my fault”, Lydia pipes up, “I like to leave the keys in the car so I don’t have to look for them in the morning. We live in a gated community so I didn’t see the big deal.”
“Well, I’m glad that idiot at the gate got fired.” Lydia’s Dad says.
“Daddy”, Lydia said, “That’s not nice.”
That caught my attention.
“You knew him?”
“Not really. But he was always nice is all.”
Lydia’s dad shakes his head.
“We used to live in a town where people didn’t steal cars, set fires or shoot up schools. I tell you. This world.”
“I’m working on making it better, Sir.”
“Sure.”
I jog back up the house and find Emile and Sera in the parlor. Emile is showing her what appears to be the advisory board’s calendar and Facebook page on a huge monitor. Emile gets up and leaves her to click around.
“So… how long am I supposed to keep that dossier?” Emile asks.
“I don’t know. Hopefully not too long. Anyone who has that information is a target”
“Great.” He says with a hint of sarcasm, “I’m starting to second guess asking you two to stay for lunch.”
“Lunch would be great. I’m sort of curious how you have this whole place to yourself.”
“I’m house sitting. Long story. I can make a pretty good avocado and roasted pepper club.”
“Sounds perfect.”
Truthfully I wasn’t ready to be alone with Seraphina. We were always good at keeping our D/s relationship healthy and safe. Fuck could it get volatile. Especially when things aren’t in balance on a personal level. The parking lot has been intense. I’m pretty sure I was in control of my actions for the most part. Except for when I’d blacked out and strangled her. That had been pure rage and frustration. I didn’t like knowing I could snap like that.
I sit at the counter while Emile prepped lunch. I try to help but he promptly takes the knife from me after watching me cut up a cucumber into unrecognizable chunks. We talk for a long while. Emile has a lot of insight into the community. He’s a local political junkie and is intimately familiar with the county’s initiatives and challenges.
“You seem to know everything”, I finally say, “Who do you think burned the building down? Given all the information.”
“I don’t like to spread gossip but sometimes I…wonder about the Day family.”
“What do you mean?”
“They just…get away with things. Everyone on the board has a connection to them except you. Bruno and Lee were close friends of Armitage Day. Hollins only got on because his dad grew up with Armitage.”
Sera joins us in the kitchen. She takes the barstool next to me and slices my cucumber chunks into julienned strips. Emile seems impressed but that’s because he hasn’t seen her try to use the stove.
“I think you’ll like getting involved with the activism board”, Emile tells her, “I think there are a lot of teens who’d like to have people with different perspectives involved in the school system.”
Sera nods and moves onto the carrots.
Emile seems to pick-up on her discomfort, “Let me get some basil and we should be ready to eat.”
He picks up a pair of small sheers and heads for the small herb garden in the solarium. Sera mixes the cucumbers into the side salad Emile had been working on. I can tell she’s thinking about Sven again. I’m caught off guard with how much his lost pulls at me when I allow myself to reflect on it. Especially now that I’m no longer afraid I caused his death.
“Sera?”
“What now Paris—“
“You look very pretty. You holding a dangerous objects. Kind of a turn on.”
“Stop it”, she says but she doesn’t mean it.
“Come here”, I push myself a little out of my stool so I can kiss her, “You smell really good.”
She flushes a teeny tiny bit as I focus on her neck, “I actually think it’s all the flowers in here—“
“Hey”, Emile power walks back into the kitchen while gesturing to the solarium, “Something is happening.”
I follow him back over to the windows and sure enough six police cars are moving stealthy down the streets. Sirens off. Three cars form a barricade around the driveway. The sheriff’s car pulls right up to the portico. Rainer steps out and a phalanx of deputies and federal agents follow her up the steps.
“What are the feds doing here?” I ask.
“I don’t know.” Emile very quickly opens an app on his phone which, by the looks of it, turns on the outside security cameras. I hear him close the safe and push it back behind a book case. We cautiously open the front door.
“I guess you’ll want this”, Rainer says as a greeting. She heaves a heavy packet of documents into my arms.
“What is this?” I ask trying to skim the all legalize and cop talk.
“It’s an arrest warrant for your client. Seraphina Athena Grigori is under arrest for first-degree arson, conspiracy and the second degree felony murder of Al Moritz.”
“That’s ridiculous”, I say flipping through the documents until I find a signed arrest warrant.
Sera makes the mistake of stepping outside of the threshold to see what is going on. Three of the deputies pull her forward and cuff her-- Sera stiffens when the federal agents step up to escort her to the police cruiser.
“Paris…” she calls, “No. Paris you can’t let them take me. Paris--”
“Don’t say anything”, I advise her. Emile nods vigorously in agreement.
“Paris”, Sera struggles a little as the agents and officers try to get her in the car. Tears are streaming down her face and the emotional whiplash takes me surprise, “Please. No. Please. Paris. Don’t let them take me. Paris, don’t let them take me. I can’t go-”
“It’s okay, Sera. Just go with them. I’ll get you out by the end of the day”, I turn back to Rainer, “This is a mistake.”
Rainer shifts her weights.
“Here is what you and the other board of supervisors need to learn. I. Don’t. Answer. To. You. I was appointed by the governor to get this county back on track and manage crime.”
“Can you at least tell me what evidence you are holding her on?”
“Let’s start with the fact that for years your wife has been making regular visits to a convicted arsonist currently house in Durell Penitentiary. She called her arsonist friend the day before and after the fire. This arsonist’s crimes are identical to the Old Town Hall job. Same igniter and same type of early 20th century building.”
Sera made a lot of friends whenever we moved. She never mentioned any of them were imprisoned. She knew I wouldn’t judge.
“Durell Pen? That’s a federal facility. Is that why the feds are here?”
Rainer looks a little confused.
“No. We have to call ORR when refugees are involved. We don’t want anyone getting deported before court. ”
“Wait…what?” I flip through the papers, “Refugee? Who? Sera’s not a refugee.”
“Right. Asylee. Sorry.”
“What?”
Rainer squints at me, “Aren’t you from Saint Lillth’s?”
I felt a strange unease at the mention of the name. I guess that was the name of my hometown but I had never called it that. It had another name no one really used. St. Lilith’s was more of a joke. It was …just a bad translation.
“St. Lilith’s is close to Canada…but it’s in America.”
“I know. It’s that town where they put all those kids in the 90s. The…genocide survivors.”
“What …” I clutch the papers so I don’t drop them
She studies me, “I thought that was how you got those scars. Aren’t you one of the survivors? From…fuck what was that country called?”
Parts of my memory start to slowly unfurl. I have to shut it down.
“I’m a citizen. I an American. I have a U.S Passport.”
She is skeptical. Now so am I.
“Mr. Prince please tell me your citizenship papers aren’t fakes because if they are I—“
“They’re real”, I say more to myself, “I’ve voted. I travelled abroad in grad school.”
I’d…never seen Seraphina vote. I’d never seen her passport. I’d filled out tax forms and paperwork for her. I guess she usually reviewed them…had she been changing things?
“Wait”, I start flipping through the documents, “The arsonist Sera’s been talking to. Who is it?”
“Jonathan Balthazar”
I drop the papers and they scatter in the driveway
“That’s my brother.”
+++
Paxton’s car is an orange trailblazer because Paxton is a lot like Day (But not in a creepy way, okay.)
Muse: Lile it looks like you stole a premise from Harrison High
Lils: I borrowed…more to come.
This is what I meant when I said Paris is an unreliable narrator. Also Paris’ brother has dropped his last name.
I swear I wrote that line about Paris not being able to cut a cucumber before the Kendall video went viral. Sera can cut because she used to have to help make meals in her old foster home.