December 2015
+1+
“Did you see any of the justices---girls be careful”, Aria Grigori’s voice rose just a bit as she issued the gentle warning to her eldest daughters as they ran around the 8 foot pink Christmas tree. The pink and silver presents that had been neatly wrapped under the tree were now a maelstrom of paper, bows and tape.
“No. I didn’t get a chance”, I told her, “But it was a great experience being back in D.C for the summer.”
I was always up to talk about my summer internship at a big D.C political consultant firm and Aria held on to my every word.
---
The minute I’d arrived in D.C for my internship my phone started blowing up with calls from people in the BDSM community. They’d wanted to meet up and talk about the lifestyle and business. Some people had actually been interested in the law review articles I’d written about legalizing sex work. I’d turned them all down. I’d decided to focus on my career for once.
I’d rented a room for the summer with my pitiful intern stipend so I wouldn’t have to take money from Sera. My housemates were college sophomores who’d driven me insane. I had to step back into the headmaster role and spent many nights listening to problems and making sure they respected the women they invited over.
Carrie and I kept dating while I was in D.C. Despite our rough patches our relationship was solid. She’d visited me every weekend and we’d started having sex. Being with her made me rethink my relationship with sex and attraction. Sex with her wasn’t just about pleasure…it was about connection and a genuine expression of love. My kinks and fetishes didn’t go away but I was open to exploring something new.
While I was in D.C I’d found a petite blonde MBA student who was also a sub-for-hire to stay with Sera. The girl wanted more lifestyle experience with a Dominant, plus she would handle the housework and the accounting. She and Sera had gotten along well and for the first time Sera had someone she could share her knowledge with. Sera was 27 years-old at the time and maybe had 15 more years left in the profitable Domme role she played for her straight clients.
Sera visited me once in D.C. and it had been because I paid her.
I’d needed a date and Carrie was at a conference. My boss at the firm was selling tickets to a big presidential fundraiser. I’d convinced Sera to refinance her condo to afford the $8500 dollar tickets. I’d been shocked to learn that several of my colleagues just got their family friends to donate funds to sponsor their tickets.
I’d rented a Mercedes-Benz and picked Sera up at the rough motel she chose to stay in. She’d worn a modest one-shoulder purple formal dress with thin delicate straps along with what must have been a painful padded corset. There wasn’t an inch of her face not covered in thick matte pore less makeup. Her hair was curled and fell almost to her waist.Sera had waited for me to hop out and open the car door for her. The usual thrill of doing something for her hadn’t been there. We were both quiet and she’d slept all the way to the venue.
Then we’d arrived and something switched inside her.
She was there. She’d held my arm, she’d smiled and made polite small talk. When we got to our table she’d kept smiling and flirted with my boss and his wife. She’d laughed at everyone’s jokes even the ones she didn’t understand. She’d beamed at me whenever I talked and she went out of her way to mention my degrees and volunteer work. She’d even memorized the PC (policy friendly) sex positive talking points I’d given her. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to be open about Sera’s career (generally speaking) and my stance on legalizing sex work.
After the meet-and-greet photo op with the incumbent and candidate, Sera had danced with my boss and the two major celebrities that asked her. Director Munroe from the DCC and the New Amsterdam Sex Collective was there and we’d talked about what my future would look like after I graduated law school.
“Did I hear you are graduating winter 2016?” Director Munroe had asked.
“Yes, Right now I’m in law review and while I’m open to corporate law…I really want to get into public service.”
“We don’t typically run recent grads…but we might have some local spots. Call me and we’ll set up a meeting when you’re ready.”
“Will do.”
I’d felt good by the end of the night. I had the DCC on my side and a campaign was undoubtedly in my future. It was everything I promised myself when I left that fucking town.
“You’re good.” I’d told Sera as we got back into the car. I drove the long way so we could talk, “Worth every penny.”
“Hmmm.” she'd said taking off her shoes.
“You’re a good date. You were perfect. No wonder you make so much escorting. You’re good at--”
“I just…copy what I see women do.”, she’d said but she wasn’t giving herself enough credit. She was so good at knowing what people wanted and giving it to them.
“You know…when I go into politics there could be a lot nights like tonight. You sure you’re up for that.”
“I don’t know? You were good too. Way smarter than all of those people. I get what kind of future you could have now. I get it now. When you finish law school… if you don’t want me to be your future first…lady I’ll step aside. I’ll still support you. Even financially. Even if you decide Carrie would be a better wife.”
“I don’t think she’d be a better wife. I just think she’d be happier in the long run.”
Sera had just closed her eyes and settled back into the seat. I’d hope we could hit a few bars tonight but she hadn’t been in the mood. Before I could drive off she’d pulled a folded check from the bodice of her dress. The check was black with red kiss lips on it—it was a check from her personal account. It was also blank.
“This is for the car and tux rental.” She explained.
“…the tux isn’t a rental. I had to buy it to get an all-black one.”
“Of course you did.” she’d said yawning, “Good night, Paris.”
-2-
I’d returned to New York City in August fully invigorated. I’d jumped back into my weekly schedule with Sera, but it was usually me alone in her condo with a to-do list. I’d visited a few other local Dommes to get that submission I was craving. It mostly did the trick, but I’d stopped because I was afraid Sera would find out.
I’d gone with Carrie to her annual Friendsgiving where someone mistaken me for her fiancé, we laughed it off but the thought of what could have been triggered something akin to a depressive episode. If I hadn’t let Wentworth walk all over me, if I hadn’t taken that fucking phone call from Sera all those years ago…I could have had more time with Carrie. More holidays with friends, laughter and memories. I could have found a whole new family.
When I went to bed that night I’d felt uncomfortable and itchy. I’d needed to get out of my head. I dialed Sera’s number. It rang a few times before she picked up.
“Yes”, she’d said.
“Can I come over? I just need to get out of my head. I thought maybe a session or—“
“I just got off the train. I’m in New Jersey”, she’d explained, “Dr. Rendell made an appointment. His kids decided to spend the holiday in Aspen with his ex-wife. I thought maybe I’d have him wait in line and buy something. I was reading this book about FinDoms and …”
Mine
I’d felt that possessiveness overtake me. It had been totally irrational.
I respect her BDSM clients and always provide them with the best service I can—but it’s not fair. They have power and money which means their time will always be more valuable than mine.
Anyway, she wouldn’t have turned down the obscene holiday price she was probably charging him just to keep me company. I wouldn’t have expected her to. I’d swallowed to keep the emotion out of my voice.
“Financial Dominance is just a new word for gold digging. I got into a whole internet debate about this. Just…don’t have him buy something he can’t return. If he wants to buy you a gift it can’t be over $100. Keep a copy of the original receipt.”
“…I have to go. Fuck, I think he sent a Lamborghini to pick me up.”
“Oh. Okay. Um. Hey real quick. I was thinking we should close New Aeterna for Christmas.”
“Want to spend the holiday with your girlfriend?”
“I…do, actually.”
“You’ll have to ask me, won’t you.” she’d teased.
“Darling, can we close the dungeon the week of Christmas.”
“I’ll think about it.”
She’d hung up and I’d felt plunged back into the darkness. I took a shower and got dressed. Then I’d walked to Carrie’s post-war building on the Lower West Side. I’d called first to see if I could come up. I thought maybe I’d woken her and her roommates up, but they were all hanging out in the kitchen. They’d lingered a bit before leaving us alone.
“I’m glad you came over, “Carrie had started, “Hey, do you—“
“I love you”, I’d said, “Have I told you that?”
She’d started to shake her head and then nodded. Maybe I’d said something like that. Just not so intently. I’d never meant it so much.
“…oh my God,” She’d said somewhat conscious of the sweats she was wearing, “I love you too, Paris.”
+++
New Aeterna closed for December. I would have done it with or without Sera’s permission. I was spending the holidays with my girlfriend. Sure, we lost out on the parties we usually booked but we made ends meet. Sera made more money escorting during Christmas party season anyway.
I still worked on the finances and investment accounts—but I also gave myself time to spend with Carrie. We'd started splitting the week between her place and mine, caught up on our academic work and went to all the classic New York Christmas attractions I’d missed out on. She’d even insisted on getting me a Christmas tree even though I was still very much an atheist.
“Didn’t you say you were raised by a priest”, Carrie had asked while putting the last matte black bulb on our “Goth” Christmas tree. I’d thought it was stylish-- black and silver ornaments wrapped in dark black velvet ribbon.
“Ex-priest. He left the church.”
“Why?”
“…I don’t know…I don’t remember?”
“Is …Sera an atheist?”
“No. She was raised by nuns in The Order—I mean the church orphanage. It was really strict. The Father in charge lived in Canada. When Sera was in high school he personally threw her out after trying to exorcise her. Or so I heard. … but somehow her faith in a loving God is still intact.”
“So...she was trouble ?”
“She just got caught with her girlfriend. Hippolyta repented and…Sera fought back. She eventually moved in with the guy who would become her abusive ex-boyfriend. Hmjeu raised me to help those who had less than me. I should have done more. She’s a little impaired…mentally. People took advantage…still do sometimes. I should have helped her back then.”
I held my tongue. Even now Sera could sometimes come across much younger than she was. Especially if she was uncomfortable or overwhelmed. She wasn’t good with learning new technology and had a hard time managing money. She got frustrated easily and she could be unintentionally impulsive and promiscuous. These were things I’d noticed in college and I always swooped in to help. Growing up she’d had Hippolyta and later Leon to help her. I wasn’t sure if I wanted that responsibility anymore.
“You are a good man, Paris”, Carrie said kissing me, “You did so much for her by marrying her-- but you can’t stay because you feel guilty or obligated. It’s killing you. You have to do what’s best for you.”
+3+
The plans I had with Carrie for the end of December were quickly ruined. Well, not ruined but drastically altered.
A week before Christmas Seraphina sent me a long e-mail with things I needed to do to because her foster sister Aria and Leon were coming to visit with their kids. I had to re-read the e-mail twice because I hadn’t known Aria was the one of Sera’s sisters Leon had gotten pregnant. They apparently had three very lively and active daughters under the age of 7. Which (If my math was right) was probably one of the reasons Sera and Leon had been estranged.
The Argos Family arrived the last week of December. Sera had insisted on paying for a hotel, but Aria insisted the family of five could make do in Sera’s one bedroom condo. I could tell Sera was secretly glad the company.
“Hold on…can you”, Aria hoisted her seven month old daughter Hera into my arms. The baby was thankfully sleeping, her swirl of blonde hair identically to her father’s. Aria went to give the older girls a stern talking and set them down to play with the mountain of toys their Aunt Sera had bought them. Well I’d actually been the one running around Manhattan and New Jersey trying to find everything, but Sera made the list.
“Sorry”, Aria said taking the baby back, “How is law school? I told Leon I really want to apply when I finish my bachelors. I’m working on two degrees. One in Political Science and Gender studies.”
She smiled down as baby Hera began slowly waking up. I looked behind Aria at the two older girls Harmony and Helena chased each other around the tree.
Like me, Aria had been the oldest (Well, after Sera) at her group home. She had plans to become a nun at the House with hopes of making the House a safer space. But Leon had come back to town looking for Sera (she was in Boston marrying me) and I guess one thing led to another between them.
“Honestly”, I said, “Law school is really hard. You have to dedicate hours to studying and law review will put you through the ringer. It’s tough and fucking competitive.”
She smiled weakly and picked up a pink cupcake from the Magnolia cupcake tower I’d assembled this morning.
“It’s funny isn’t it”, she said licking off the icing
“What Is?”
She inclined her head to the balcony where Leon and Sera were talking. From a distance it looked like the world’s most understated monosyllabic conversation. I hadn’t seen much of their dynamic. Sera let me join in for a few excursions but I was mostly running around setting everything up. Plus I had one intersession course.
“They haven’t seen in each other in six years but it’s like no time has passed.”
“Yeah”, I said, “They always seemed close in school.”
Aria smiled mischievously.
“I think it took Leon a while to get over Sera.”
“What? He was into her?”
Aria beamed now. I guess she hadn’t had anyone to share high school gossip with.
“You really were self-absorbed in high school, weren’t you?”
“Aria, do you think I made a mistake marrying her?” I asked realizing Aria was the only person who knew Sera better than me.
Aria laughed and the baby followed her voice, “When Leon told me you two got married I thought he was joking. You were so nervous all the time and kind of an a-hole…plus you’re like…five feet tall.”
“I’m… less of an…a-hole now. I’m like 5’7 in boots.”
She laughed again. She has a beautiful laugh. No one laughed a lot back home. Why is that?
“You two did good for each other.” she looked around at the condo, “I mean I will forever stan Sera and Hippolyta--but Sera seems happy and healthy. She’s totally spoiled.”
“This is all hers. I mean… do you know what she does for a living ? I don’t’ know what she told you…”
“She told me everything. Leon is sort of scandalized but I think… some it looks kind of fun. Besides that wasn’t what I meant when I said she’s spoiled. You’re…very attentive and I’m guessing Sera has no idea where the cleaning supplies and has never set foot in the kitchen. I bet the only thing she picks up in the place is weights and you.”
“Very funny”, I said, “You know Aria, I have some papers for you.”
“Papers?”
“I manage a small portion of Sera’s income in investment accounts. The market is doing well and she wanted me to discuss trust funds for the girls. Nothing big… just a little something for when they turn 18. More if the business does well. We also need someone to inherit our estate…in fifty years this condo could be worth 2.4 million dollars. Maybe more.”
“Wait—what?”
“Well…Sera and I are not having kids and we pre-paid for our cremations. She wants the girls to inherit everything.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk to Leon?”
“If you want me to. I just thought you guys weren’t married.”
“We’re not. I mean I love Leon but I’m just not interested in the government seeing me as an extension of him. I already felt like an extension growing up in that cult. I mean The Order totally—“
“Cult?”
I felt something prickle at my neck. Aria’s eyes went wide for a moment and she looked out to the balcony then to me. She smiled, “Uh…Anne ran that place like a cult.”
Aria pulled herself away from me as Leon and Sera come back inside. The girls rushed over to show Seraphina what they’d built with their Legos. She let them pull her down to the floor. I’d never seen her smile so much. She was more relaxed having a whole week where she didn’t have to put on make-up or a dress.
Aria excitedly told Leon about the trust fund and his discomfort was evident but he kept his arms tight and protective around Aria.
+4+
I planned the perfect birthday night out for the three of us (for some reason Leon’s birth date was different?) using a combination of recommendations and places Carrie and I liked to go to. Sera’s neighbor Amelia was a part-time nanny and he offered to watch the girls that night. We started off with dinner a trendy Gastropub then pre-gamed in the downstairs lounge before getting artisanal soft serve ice cream, visiting Time Square and hitting two different nightclubs. I’d started buying myself a shot every time someone assumed Sera and Leon were together—it hadn’t bothered me until I noticed Aria’s slight change in body language every time it happened.
By the end of the night none of us could keep up with a very drunk Aria who had insisted she and Sera wear birthday crowns and sashes. Aria had worn a form fitting leopard print dress with red roses over her soft overflowing curves and 6”0 tall frame. The sexy crisscross top gave a generous view of her full breasts. Leon didn’t dance but he got protective when anyone made a move. He didn’t dance. He liked to sort of liked to post up somewhere with a drink in his hand and nod his head to the music. Aria and I spent most of the night on the dance floor together.
Straight men where all over Sera that night because she’d work a bright pink skin tight mini dress with matching heels because her nieces thought it made her look like a Barbie. Leon had never seen her dressed up and couldn’t stop staring for the first hour. I hated the comments men made or the way some of them stared or just started to grind against her without asking permission. They just asserted their self-assured dominance.
“You. Are so possessive”, Aria whisper-shouted in my ear
before jumping and screaming as the D.J turned on what was her new favorite
song. After a few more songs I maneuvered Aria her over to Leon and ordered
Sera a drink.
Sera was of course getting comfortable with a very tall man who was probably a model. He was with a pack of other good-looking well-groomed guys. His hands were low on her back and it looked like he was trying to lead. What a fucking mistake. He had a drink in one hand and it kept sloshing on her dress. So fucking inconsiderate.
He whispered something to her and led her through the crowd and to the back. I shouldn’t have cared. Sera could take care of herself. I tried to only bring out the protective side of myself with Carrie.
No.
I took stock of my feelings.
This wasn’t my protective side.
Aria was right.
This was my possessive side.
That man had already proven he couldn’t give her what she wanted. As far as I was concerned he didn’t deserve her. He couldn’t have her. She was mine.
I followed the path they’d taken pass the bathroom and out the club’s back door. The door was propped open with a shot glass. I could already hear the guy’s loud labored breaths followed by Sera’s quieter shallow ones. I pushed the door open and slipped into the chilly night.
I stepped on a condom wrapper and moved around the Dumpster to see him fucking her against the building, he was getting the back of her dress dirty. His hands occasionally moved from the back of the wall to her waist leaving more trails of dirt. Her G-string was caught around heel, it probably hadn’t occurred to him to hold it for her. His eyes were shut and his version of dirty talk was vulgar--even with his British accent.
I pushed against the backdoor so the shot glass holding it broke. They guy’s eyes snapped towards me. He pulled his pants up and was positioned to run.
“What the fuck”, he said, “The fu—“
“That’s my fucking wife. What the fuck are you doing?” I asked rhetorically. Calmly but pointedly.
“Whoa—wait.”
“Get the fuck out of here.”
“Shit. Dude I didn’t know--”
“Do I look like I give a fuck?”
He took a second to look at me his eyes focusing on my scars.
“Whatever. She wasn’t even wearing a ring.”
“Are you calling my wife a liar?”
“Whoa. No…Whatever. Not worth it.”
He jogged back toward the entrance. Sera fixed her dress and gestured for me to come over to her.
“What was that little act all about?” she asked taking her compact out of my pocket.
“He annoyed me. I didn’t like the way the way he was treating you.”
“Suddenly you are sticking up for me?”
“Seraphina, I’m never going to be able to stand by and someone not treat you the way you deserve.”
I did my best to brush all the dirt and debris off her dress but Sera slapped my hand away.
“You’re making it worse. Let’s go”, Sera said looking at my watch for the time, “Text Leon and Aria, tell them to meet us outside.”
Aria seemed fit to burst the entire way back. The entire walk back she alternated between drunk singing and drunk dancing. Sera had her arm securely hooked in hers to help her along. I awkwardly walked with Leon.
“Have a nice time?” I asked
“Yeah”, he said
“You guys should visit more often.”
“Yeah”, he agreed.
After a few seconds I realize I don’t hear Sera’s heels. I turned to see she and Aria were sitting on a bench. Aria was sloppily drunk crying. Leon jogged over to her.
“They’re…happy tears”, Sera explained patting Aria’s head. I found a tissue in my coat and hand it to Aria.
“Oh my God”, Aria said smiling, “Look at us. We’re here….in the city…we’re friends…we’re all best friends.”
“Come on, honey. We’ve got one block to go.” Sera said trying to help her stand. Both Sera and Leon were trying not to burst out laughing.
“Sera…oh my God. You’re so pretty. We’re survivors. We’ve all survived hell and ….and we’re adults…with careers …we did…and ….you married that really hot super weird guy from high school. And I probably got pregnant in the bathroom at that first club—“
“What?” Sera let uncharacteristically slip out. I noticed Leon blushing furiously.
“Sera”, Aria continued, “We’re free! Were’ finally making it on our own. It’s over—I”
Aria stumbled to the bushes and began throwing up.
“We need to get you back.” Sera said as she and Leon held her up on each side. Once we reached 48X48 Aria was able to walk on her own, but Leon hovered close by.
“This building is so pretty!” Aria squealed.
Sera and Leon share a look. They’d done that all night. It was so bizarre. They’d only really known each other for a few years but there was a connection there. It probably had a lot to do with shared trauma. There was something different about the three of them that I--
“Paris”, I recognized the voice instantly and turned away from the buildings’ entrance.
Carrie got up from the side of the water feature outside the building and made her way over to the four of us.
+5+
“We’ll be inside”, Sera said.
“No”, Carrie moved to stand next to me, “We need to talk, Seraphina.”
“Carrie what are you doing here.” I started, “I told you Sera’s—my friends are in town. Maybe you can join us tomorrow--”
“No. I came for you. You’ve been letting her overwork you…as usual.”
Sera handed Leon her keys and shifted her gaze to me. Leon had to practically drag Aria away from the ensuing drama. Once they were gone Carrie turned to Sera.
“Seraphina. I’m tired of you not talking to me. I worry every time Paris is away from me. I worry when he’s alone with you. You have got to stop treating him like this”, Carrie said, “I know that this whole dynamic between you is about consent or whatever but you are holding Paris back. You don’t pay him enough or appreciate everything he does. He’s too smart for this and honestly it’s getting close to abuse”
Sera looked at me again non-pulsed and shifted her weight.
“Carrie”, I tried to stay calm, “This isn’t about Sera.”
“It is Paris. She’s draining everything out of you. I care about you. I love you and I’m trying to save you.”
Sera held her hand out for her cellphone, I dug it out of my pocket and gave it to her. Without a word Sera turned on her heels and headed inside the building.
“That was real mature”, Carrie said.
“She can be immature Carrie…”
“I was at a Lila and Evan’s party tonight and everyone missed you. I see how happy you are with our friends…with me. I want that for us all the time. We can graduate together tackle our 30’s together. I like being able to challenge you and introduce you to new things. I wish I’d done it years ago. I wish we had those years back.”
I had this vivid image of Travis Wentworth’s Cape Cod home. How I’d taken in everything I saw and held it as a promise to myself. A promise that this would be my future. I’d let it go the day I’d committed myself to Sera.
“Maybe I do throw too much of myself into her—“
“Honey, it’s okay”, Carrie said, “It’s okay. I’ll help you make your own way. Fuck her money, her lifestyle, and attitude. You don’t need that. You don’t need her.”
“…Can we talk about this at home?”
“No. I want you Paris. Just you and I think you feel the same way. We’d be good together. I think we have a future. I’ve felt it since sophomore year. We can get your stuff and you can move into my place.”
“Fuck”, I said quietly trying to hold back the emotion in my voice.
“Paris, what?”
“I should have fought harder for you in college. I wish I was that person but I’m not. Yes, Sera’s a bitch sometimes and yes I need her money—but the lifestyle part of our relationship. That’s not just her. It’s me. It’s something I need. It helps me.”
“There are lots of ways to get help, Paris.”
“I need you to accept me the way I am Carrie. I feel like…you want to give me so much of what’s important to you…but you don’t want what’s important to me.”
“I care about your career. That’s important to you. You deserve a normal happy life. She is holding you back. Paris, you have so much potential. After everything you’ve been through you deserve someone who wants you to succeed.”
“It might not show but Sera wants that for me. Sera is always going to be a part of my life whether she’s my Domme, my wife or friend. I love her. She’s never judged me or asked anything from me. She took care of me in college and she didn’t question me when I came out to her. She’s all I have left of my hometown. “
“….I can’t watch you destroy yourself Paris.”
I touched my face and realized we were both crying. I must have been in love with Carrie because I knew this was going hurt.
+++
Carrie and I fought outside for about an hour. When it was over we were both emotionally drained. I called a car for her and said a quiet good-bye. Once her taxi was out of view I stormed inside. I just gave the concierge a look and he called the elevator without question.
The door to Sera’s condo was open and a few dim lights were on. The two older girls were tucked into Glamping tents around the fold-out couch where Aria was sound asleep. Leon was still up quietly watching a sports game on his phone. He gave me a questioning look but left the matter alone.
I head for Seraphina’s bedroom. Out of habit I knock before opening the door.
“Come in”, Sera said.
I braced myself for her reaction and entered.
“Is that….taken care of”, Sera whispered. She wasn’t alone. She had a sleepy baby Hera in her arms and was gently rocking her to sleep
I gently closed the door behind me
“Carrie and I broke up. It was bad. Or I’m assuming. I’ve never broken up with anyone before. The thing is Carrie made some good points.”
“Hmm”, Sera said not looking up from the baby.
“You. As my Mistress works for me. I love submitting to you. But something about our relationship stunts my growth.”
“I think you have a perspective problem”, she whispered while readjusting Hera’s swaddled blankets. I shouldn’t have been surprised she was comfortable with young children. Babies sometimes came into our foster homes but they were quickly adopted. Hmjeu always sent the baby boys to the girl’s home where I just now realize the care-taking may have responsibility of the older orphans.
Baby Hera finally settled down in her Aunt’s arms and Sera gently rocked her to sleep. Sera actually smiled at the content baby and I am very comfortable being the least important person to her right now. I watched the way she studied Hera. There was a longing there.
“Sera…do you want to have a baby?”
Sera looked briefly up at me. I pushed down all the fear and anxiety that came with having to change my plans. I preferred not to have children but I could manage it. It would probably be good for my career. I start thinking about calendars and schedules. It had never been my plan but I trusted Sera to know what was best for us.
“I want this baby”, she said softly.
“What?” I whispered
“I want to watch this baby grow up with a mom and dad in a real home. With real sisters and to know she is loved every day. I want to know what that looks like. I want to be in her life. I want to be in their lives. Aria asked me to be their godmother…but I said no. I want to be their aunt. Family. I already love them so much. I missed so much time”
“Sera, you are already taking care of them with the trust”, I said, “Aria, Leon and the girls are part of our little family now.”
Sera put baby Hera in her bassinet and rolled her out to her Father. She came back in and shut the door. She must have been up with Hera for a while because she still hadn’t changed from her club dress.
“Take your shoes off. Get on your knees.”
Sera knew I wasn’t comfortable doing anything with our friends staying over, but she seemed serious so I did as she said.
“You’re not cursed, Paris Prince. Life fucking you over happens”, she slowly circled me, “If you want Carrie back go after her. If she makes you thrive or whatever then fight for her. As much as I love being in charge, and I do love it, it doesn’t work if you’re not all in. It’s the universe you have to worry about”
“What?”
“We’re soulmates Paris. The universe wants us together. We are always going to belong together. Do whatever you want but you’ll always come back to me.”
“How much did you drink?”
She rolled her eyes.
“That’s what I believe”, she said, “You’re hurting right now, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.”
She reached for my hand and held it between her cold ones.
“Me too. I feel a little bit of your pain. Because I’m your other half.”
She was so fucking insane
But I still wanted her.
She had so much fucking power over me.
“I’m tired” I said honestly.
“I’ll have the concierge get you a cab.”
“Can I at least stay the night? I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“No. And now that you don’t have a girlfriend I’ll be sure to keep you plenty busy so you won’t even think about how sad you are. I want you here tomorrow at 7ams with breakfast for everyone, also buy tickets for the Empire State Building and that ice skating show. While we’re all out with the girls you can give the dungeon a deep clean and I want you to hand wash all my lingerie and dildos. That will cheer you up, right?”
“I don’t—
“It will cheer me up and that should be enough for you. Isn’t it?”
“…Yes.”
Sera lead me out of her room and to the front door. Leon eyes briefly flicker from his phone to us.
“Also, Paris.”
“Yes?”
She tilted my chin up and kissed me very briefly on the mouth.
“Happy Birthday.”
+++
A/N
· Oh, hmm Paris got broken up with a day before his birthday. (Not sure why I wrote this note? Did this happen in a SH Story)
· Okay. So I wrote a few chapters knowing Paris would have a girlfriend while he was in law school. I wasn’t sure I wanted it to be Carrie, but I found it was easier for Paris to connect with someone who knew a different version of him.
· Chapter 12 will take place about 9 months before the start of the story and then we are done with flashbacks.