±1±
I was an emotional masochist
I thrived on control and humiliation in a way that made all my other relationships shift into focus. I’d always craved attention and validation of a Dominant person my entire life. It was probably why I’d been drawn to Hmjeu. In some fucked up way it’s probably why I’d probably roomed with Wentworth for so long. I got a dose of unhealthy serotonin from how he hurt and humiliated me.
I wanted more. I wanted a D/s relationship that was intense, challenging and could keep me focused…possibly make me a better husband.
“Tell me about your ultimate fantasy”, I randomly asked Sera while we were up late making flash cards for my third attempt to improve my LSAT scores.
“What do you mean?” She leaned against the counter and started on another flash card. Sera had been sent home early from Oasis that night. It was the holidays and things tended to slow down. She hadn’t even bothered to change out of the skin tight off the shoulder dress.
“Like if you were fantasizing about a total power exchange. Twenty-four seven D/s relationship what would you want?”
“Isn’t that for people who have leisure time and playrooms”, she said slightly dismissive.
I had recently take an online course on the subject of total power exchanges or TPEs. The idea of creating and defining your own strict relationship dynamic with BDSM elements appealed to me much more than the outdated heteronormative idea of secular marriage
“Not necessarily. It’s a type of relationship. Kind of like marriage but alternative and more meaningful.”
She raised an eyebrow and I quickly explained.
“Sera, The rules and laws regarding marriage are arbitrary and bullshit. Marriage wasn’t made for atheist or queer people. I mean we don’t have insurance and we file taxes separately. If we weren’t married what would change about our relationship? We don’t even have the same last name.”
“That’s only because I can’t afford to change it”, she said.
“Exactly. Marriage is transactional but this kind of relationship goes much deeper. It’s about trust, expectations, rules, respect and consent. Just humor me. If you were officially my Mistress instead of my wife what would you want from me? Think about it. I’d be yours.”
She considered this but didn’t look up from the card she was working on, “Leon introduced me to Helios right after I got kicked out the Girl’s Home. I was in a really bad place and Helios gave me a place to stay.”
I stared expecting her to bring up high school. I hated the way I thought about her back then. She was just a side character in Paris Prince’s rise to Harvard.
“That was…the summer before senior year, right”, I tried to remember.
“Yeah. He said he loved me. I was kind of naïve…”
“He took advantage of you”, I said.
Sera absently shuffled the blank cards, “One night we were all playing cards and Helios made a joke that if he lost he’d let the winner fuck me. Helios lost on purpose just to see if I’d do it. I did—because it was whatever. Later that night another one of the guys asked if I’d sleep with him and then another… I did it because I wanted them to like me and Helios thought it was funny... Leon pulled me aside and told me Helios had a bet going to see if I’d do the entire house.”
I folded an index card nervously. This wasn’t what I’d expected when I asked her about her ultimate power exchange fantasy. I also didn’t tell her I already knew this story because Helios and his roommates told everyone about it. The rumor spread to the wrestling coach who asked Sera to quit because she was distracting other team members. It was overhearing shit like that that made me not want to have sex.
‘”He was an abusive enabling asshole Sera.” I said.
“I know. I was so afraid I’d spend the next 20 years stuck in that house. One day he was charming and romantic and the next it was ‘retarded bitch’ this and ‘dumb fuck’ that. I couldn’t even do homework around him because he’d joke about how stupid I was and how much help I needed. I was taller and bigger than him but he made me feel so small. Paris, if you hadn’t helped me graduate I wouldn’t have been able to join the military and get out.”
I rocked uneasily in the bar stool and tried to conjure a good memory for her.
“I bet you miss Hippolyta”, I said fostering the memory of her first girlfriend. Her real high school sweetheart.
“I do”, her voice softened a little, “she bought me out of my shell and I kept her down to earth. We planned our first time together in one of the storage rooms in the basement. It was awkwardly perfect.”
“I’m glad you had a good first experience.”
She pushed her hair back and picked up a blank index card, “Oh, come on Paris.”
“What?”
“All those weirdos that worked for the company that did work on the homes?” She said it casually while writing the next definition in her elegant handwriting.
“What?” I started sitting up in my chair
“Come on. I’ve overheard your brothers talk about it.”
I started absently folding another index card and thought back to the maintenance company I’d reach out to whenever the Boy’s home needed work done. They’d never been anything but cordial to me. My brothers never told me anything.
“Sera…were you raped?”
She traced over the definition she had just written
“By them? No.”, she picked up a new index card, “They were just handsy and kept trying to get us alone. You were always with Hmjeu, right? I guess that’s why you didn’t know.”
I nervously folded another index card.
“Um, Sera. You said ‘not by them’… “, I asked without asking, “That wasn’t a no.”
“I’m sure you know all the rumors.”
I did. Didn’t I?
“I remember the last week of senior year you had a breakdown in the middle of class. It was after you and Leon moved into his car. I heard some of Helios’ housemates jumped you guys in a parking lot.”
“We did steal some money before we left.” she said still re-tracing the words, “They dragged Leon into the woods and beat the shit out of him for it. Helios wasn’t there. He never is for the dirty work.”
“Seraphina…”
“I don’t really . . .” She said considering her words, “They said if I gave them blow jobs they’d leave us alone. But I think I changed my mind half-way through but they also pressured me into it…and they kept pressing me to do more stuff. I don’t remember if I wanted to do it. I don’t know if I said ‘no’. I just didn’t feel right about it the next morning. I couldn’t explain it and the guidance counselor said this is why girls shouldn’t get reputations.”
“Fuck, Sera. I’m sorry.”
“I just don’t want to be a stereotype”, Sera said shuffling the index cards again, “I like a little sadism but I’m not into dominating men because I want to get revenge or watch them suffer because of what happened to me.”
“Then why?”
Her eyes shifted to me.
“You’ve helped me realize the only men I want in my bed and household are the one who respect me and know their place. Dominant women make men put someone else’s need first. All men should earn their pleasures and learn to control their desires."
Sera was a little flush now, maybe a little turned on. She had clearly been reading through all the notes I’d taken on the psychology of BDSM or it was her erotic vampire novels.
“’I’d be that kind of man for you—“
“No”, Sera shakes her head slightly and picks up a blank card, “You’re not like that. You’re not controlled by your desires. You like to be kept in your place, you like having a boss, you need to be molded, you need someone else in charge. You crave approval.”
I looked over at my pile of folded cards and adjusted my place at the counter so she couldn’t see my growing erection.
“We should—“
“If you were my sub”, Sera interrupted, “because that’s what you’re really asking, I’d make you into my personal servant I can torture or fuck whenever I feel like it. And you’d be grateful for it wouldn’t you?”
“Yes”, slips out before I even think about what I’m saying, but I want to give her everything she wants. That’s how I’d fucked up in undergrad. I’d put what I wanted first.
“Paris, people are always going to think you are better than me. So, I do like the idea of keeping you beneath me. The thought of having a handsome well-behaved servant really turns me on. Like the men on that British soap opera you are always watching.”
“It’s not a soap opera”, I tell her, and “It’s on PBS”
Sera rolls her eyes at my correction.
“Well, it puts thoughts in my head. Those women should have had all those men wrapped around their fingers. I’d love to have a manservant or valet I can dress up, order around and fuck with. Forget one maybe a whole harem full. But… I guess could start with one.”
“One?” I said learning forward in my bar stool. She runs her fingertip over my lips and scar. Fuck every man in the world should follow suit to make up for the shitty way she’d been treated.
“Really”, she said condescendingly, “Is that what an Ivy League future politician wants? To be under my high heels?”
I pushed myself out of my chair and onto the counter facing Sera. Sera stepped between my legs gently pressing her mouth to mine, but I don’t want gentle and the kiss that follows is hard and hungry.
“Yes.”
She laughed but tried to hide it. I’d clearly miscalculated the bravado in my voice.
“You really want me to be your Mistress?”
“Yes.”
“You want me to discipline you?”
“Yes.”
“Punish you?”
“Yes.”
“You want to worship me?”
“Yes.”
“You want to worship my cunt?”
“Yes.”
“Say it.”
“I want to worship your cunt.”
Her self-satisfied smile always set me on edge, “Fuck. I Iove it when you do what I say. Would I get to be in charge?”
“Yes”
“Say it.”
“You’re in charge. You’re in control.”
She laughed and I finally figured out how to make her smile. I’d give anything for that smile.
“What would all your fancy Harvard friends say if they knew the shit you were into.” She said slightly teasing and threatening me.
“I don’t care.”
“You don’t?”
“I don’t care about pleasing anyone but you, Darling. I’d do anything for you. I need the structure. I need the control. Teach me to be the man you want.”
She goes back to her index card her stoic expression falling back into place
“I’m intrigued, Paris but this sounds like a lot. I’ll think about it. How’s that?”
“Thank you.”
“Sit down. You have studying to do.”
±±±
Mistress Alexxa De Le Croix has a reputation in D.C as the demanding queen of underground D.C kink. The men who frequent her high-end dungeon and special trained Dommes are wealthy politicos and business tycoons who expect privacy and luxury.
Alexxa was a reluctant fixture around Ace Hall when we joined. To bring in extra revenue Alexxa sent her dungeon Dommes to teach workshops at Ace Hall and Sera became friendly with them. Sera usually hung out with them after events and helped them pack their cars since she didn’t get along with the Ace Hall Doms. Maybe it was word of mouth or a suggestion by someone but Alexxa began to take a real interest in Seraphina. A lot of the professionals in the scene did.
It wasn’t that Sera was particular kinky, she never participated in scenes or even engaged in anything outside of our apartment. The interest was because Sera was kind of rarity to the scene. For starters she was young at 24 and could be molded to fit most Western beauty standards. Sera had a naturally cold, impartial superior demeanor that men who went to dungeons liked in Dommes. But most importantly, she was over six feet tall and was still built like a Greek god—which was very desirable and profitable.
Alexxa never said anything directly to Sera though. Alexxa just watched Sera from a distance whenever she made an appearance at Ace Hall. Alexxa usually set up in a corner with her girls and would be constantly rolling her eyes at Master Mitch and the plastic glasses the club served wine in. Even though she was 5’2 and had never given me a second look—I was still intimidated by her. One time I considered approaching her at Ace Hall’s Deviant December Domination party. She and some of her dungeon Dommes were standing in a corner and I overheard them bad talking the decorations and lack of dress code.
“It’s like they all got dressed in the dark”, Alexxa said in her exaggerated Mid-Atlantic accent. She did a quick double take and her eyes rested on me. I was sporting a vest Sera had found at Goodwill and kept insisting I wear, “Well…not everyone.”
I cleared my throat. I’d really gotten into researching policy pertaining to sex work and I wanted so badly to pick her brain. Harvard Paris would have launched right in—but submissive Paris had to remember his place. It was bad etiquette for a sub to speak to a Dom without permission. Instead I responded to her compliment
“Thank you.” I said.
“Where is your Master?” she said as her girls started to whisper to her, “Oh. I see? Oh you’re Sera’s. I have been meaning to get to know her better.”
I didn’t want to tell Alexxa that Sera had wandered away with a gorgeous woman who tagged along with her friend. Master Mitch didn’t like people getting to friendly close to the club.
Alexxa immediately got distracted and wandered away but she didn’t forget.
±2±
A few nights later Sera stumbled into the bedroom at 4am in the morning in a black satin bustier top, tight black jeans and a long cardigan I’d never seen before. She was laughing but pulled herself together when she saw I was awake.
“How was work?” I asked
“I didn’t have work tonight, remember? That retired stockbroker from Ace Hall…what’s his name? Invited me to that Gin & Gimp party at The W Hotel.”
That had also began happening. Some of the wealthier more well connected people we met at parties kept trying to woo Seraphina into long BDSM play weekends with them because she was beautiful and they wanted to convince her to switch.
“How was the party?” I asked politely even though I was jealous.
“Really wild. I blew off that stockbroker and had fun on my own. There was a D.J, ice sculptures, cage dancers… Mistress Alexxa was also there.”
“Was she?” I said trying to hide my interest in her.
“Yeah. She invited me with her to this private party in someone’s penthouse. Paris, it was hardcore. No rules. No limitations. The living room was filled with like Doms and their subs…just…showing off. There were so many types of people …like ages and body types. Everyone was dressed …sexy but….classy or at least the ones wearing clothes.”
“I—“
“This one room”, she continued unusually chatty. Alexxa must have got her drunk, "had all these games. It was like subs versus Doms or the Doms could pit their subs against each other. Everyone was laughing and having fun. But this other room was set up like dungeon. They had like a cross thing and a whipping post and everyone was begging Alexxa to put on a show… I guess I didn’t really know what she did. ”
I could smell the gin on her now. Sera shrugged off her sweater and I could see the bright red glow of her skin from where Alexxa’s whips had bitten her leaving evenly spaced bright red welts and the faint ring like bruises around her wrist. She slid off her pants where more evidence of Alexxa’s work neatly marked her body.
“She needed an assistant.” Sera explained, “So I said fuck it and volunteered. She told me to stand in front and if I said ‘red’, we could stop. Then she ordered these two guys to undress me. I was kind of …scared but game. Alexxa climbed on this chair to clip my wrist to the top of the… post. It was so high up I had to stand on my toes to…keep balance.”
Sera sat on the bed and crawled over to me.
“Alexxa walked away for a minute just leaving me there with all those eyes on my body and it was…a lot but kind of exciting? Alexxa came back with this guy, He’s like a leather craftsman I guess. He looked rich. He presented Alexxa with all these whips or single-tails to choose from. She was so dramatic about it and got the crowd to help her choose. I guess it’s all a show for her. Anyway at first she was …I don’t know…stroking me with it? Then it really started. She said I had to keep looking at her and I felt this…rush. It was just so…intense. All of it. I can’t even explain. Wanting pain seemed so backwards but I kept wanting to give into it. There was something on the other side of it. It’s like how I feel when I push myself running. ”
“Sera?” I said not sure what I was asking.
“Afterward some really strong hot guys helped me down. They were gentle and their hands were everywhere applying this gel or something Alexxa gave them…oh, and then Alexxa asked me if I still wanted to play her sub for the night. She’s straight so when she got bored of me fetching her drinks and sitting at her feet; she ordered me to service the three men she was having a conversation with for the rest of the night. It was kind of fun following orders, being desired …having to share my mouth with them. I mean these men thought me willingly submitting to them was the most beautiful thing in the world.
They had all these tips and advice about posture, positions and how a submissive girl like me could find a safe Dom. I wasn’t even listening because they were being protective of someone they didn’t even know. They really cared about this shit.
The whole time I thought…I want to be like them. I want to be in one of those chairs with you at my feet watching and worshiping me. I think being Dominant is what I’ve always wanted.”
I let out a breathe as she moved into my lap and forced me to kiss her.
“Sera, I was afraid you were going to say you wanted to be a sub.”
“I see the appeal”, she said, “Also, I’m quitting my jobs. Alexxa offered me a job at the dungeon on the cab ride home.”
±3±
I didn’t love the idea of sharing this new side of our relationship with strangers who paid thousands of dollars to visit dungeons. Sera didn’t care. She’d heard from the others how much money there was to be made and we were still struggling financially because of my credit card debt and the rent.
Alexxa started all her girls (her words for her employees) off in her apprenticeship program. Alexxa billed it as an essential ground breaking program, but the aspiring lawyer in me knew it was a racket. A fucking good racket though.
Triple Ex apprentices had to log 100 hours of training and 100 hours of hands-on work with the more experienced Dommes. All of it unpaid. At the same time apprentices had to complete and pass a $200 course on sexual health in addition to a first-aid course at the Learning Annex, for which Alexxa received a commission. To “maximize” her girls’ earnings Alexxa also required her girls get a massage therapist license via a privately run school so they could provide luxury aftercare to the clients. Alexxa also got a commission from that.
Alexxa knew she could make money off Sea so she personally walked her through the program. Sera worked hard to become proficient in every service the dungeon offered because the more kinks she could fulfil the more money she could make.
The training aspect was similar to her military experience; having to quickly learn and master new equipment in a short period of time. I just had to help her through the all classroom coursework. At one point I was more qualified to be a masseur in D.C than she was.
On her first official day as a full-time Triple Ex Domme I went to the website to see Mistress Athena’s profile, she stood out on the site with her huge blue eyes and sharp cheekbones. Her picture wasn’t overtly sexy like the others but he was wearing a horrid orange latex top and hat like a cheap 90’s porn star. She worked 3-11pm six days a week making minimum wage, and as the newest person had to spend late nights cleaning and closing down the two-story dungeon.
More importantly, the money started to come in.
In D.C there was a of old money, egos and powerful men who loved tipping their Mistress with crisp $50 and $100 dollar bills. Alexxa had offered Athena to her clients at a deeply discounted rate that slowly went up as more and more clients started booking with her. Clients loved Sera’s silence and domineering stoicism. She was indifferent to dealing out whatever pain or punishment the men wanted which they loved. Sera wasn’t naturally nice and she was hard to read. I think most of them just liked how amazing her body looked in the ridiculous outfits Alexxa made her rent.
One week I’d just stared at an envelope with ten $100 dollar bills in tips Sera had earned over the weekend. I looked up at Sera who was nursing her finger. She’d burned herself taking a high-paying request for light fire play with Alexxa supervising.
“…This is really good money.” I told her.
“It’s a living”
“Do you like it?”
She shrugs, “I could do without the medical fetishes and all the latex.”
“Kink-shaming your clients.”
“I think I’m allowed to decide what I like and don’t like”, she says, “I’m supposed to be the Dominant one to them.”
“Not really”, I point out, “You’re there to fuel their fantasies. They pay and tip to get what they need. They are making you conform to their will. That’s why submissives actually have all the power. I think that’s why a lot of powerful men are submissive”
Seraphina thinks on this.
“Well…It would have been more money but Alexxa signed me up for a customer service certification course that cost 300 dollars.”
I shook my head. It wasn’t the first time Alexxa came up with some bullshit class or new expense. Sera had said all the girls complained about it in the locker room and it was one of the reasons for the high turnover. It put thoughts in my head.
She was pulling in three thousand dollars a week and she’d tasked me with managing all the money. I set up a bank account in her name, a savings account and 401K. After bills were paid the money was divided between my six maxed out credit cards and grad school loan. I was only allowed to give myself $10 dollars a week.
I studied abroad for part of my second semester at Georgetown via an exchange program with the London School Of Economics. Sera arranged all my travel documents and she was able to pay for the entire semester in cash. When I left to study abroad the culture shock was jarring and I journaled every night so I could remember to tell Seraphina everything when I got back. I surrounded myself with research, seminars and academia. I probably didn’t enjoy the city as much as I could have.
When I got back to D.C I felt re-energized
and accomplished. That is until I found a rejection letter from Georgetown Law
waiting for me. Sera had opened up the three other letters I’d received from
law schools. All rejections.
That was also the summer Seraphina went to Florida. Alexxa sent her and a few girls down to Florida to serve two weeks with Dom Hidalgo, an insanely wealthy and notoriously sadistic lifestyle Dom who turned his summer home, Seville, into an exclusive BDSM resort. He kept a full-time staff but paid Alexxa a head hunter fee to send girls in the lifestyle down during the busy summer weeks so there would be enough slave girls to entertain his guest.
“I wonder how it works”, I said to myself the morning Sera was set to leave. She looked at her cereal but hadn’t been able to eat it.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…there is sex so he can’t charge his guest for rooms? How does he make money?”
“He’s like a retired millionaire.”
“…so how does he make money?”
“Alexxa did say the guests buy collector’s coins when they leave. He sells them for like thousands of dollars.”
I was constantly in awe of how business savvy people in the sex industry had to be to make a living and skirt the laws without breaking them. I poured Sera’s coffee into a Thermos as a light blue station wagon pulls up outside.
“Are you sure you want to go, Sera? I mean you’re not really slave girl material”,
The girl driving the station wagon presses on the horn but I see someone hop out the car and knock on the door.
“It pays six thousand dollars. I can play sub for two weeks. Go get the door.”
I opened the door to find a six foot tall blond man with flawless lightly tanned skin and brown eyes that seemed to be a swirl of light bronze and hazel. I’m completely thrown off being this close to a guy with chiseled cheek bones and a trim muscled body. I feel my body reacting to his proximity, it didn’t help that I hadn’t had sex in five months. The man smiles showing a pair of straight white teeth. Sera comes to the door and looks him up and down unimpressed.
“Need some help with your bags?” He asked Sera. I picked up on his slight Northern European accent.
“No. That’s his job,” Sera said moving past him and towards the car
It was the first time we met Sven Orlo and he seemed taken aback by Sera’s disinterest. Sven introduced himself to Sera as they walked back to the car together and opened the passenger door for her. I followed them out and was able to easily heave her little vintage suitcase into the trunk. I went back around to the passenger side to give her the cell phone.
“Are you sure you packed everything.”
“I think so”, she said putting on her vintage sunglasses, “It’s not like I’ll be needing my clothes.”
±4±
I wasn’t used to having the apartment to myself. The presidential campaign season hadn’t started yet and places I’d usually look for volunteer work were on breaks. I was bored so I just obsessively cleaned the apartment so it would be perfect when Sera came back. I’d been scrubbing the air vents when there was a knock at the door. It startled me because no one ever came by.
Mistress Alexxa was on the other side. She had a designer rolling bag and was wearing a thin fluttery trench coat with leather high-heels covered in metal studded spikes.
“Uh, Sera is still in Florida,” I said.
“Oh. I know where your wife is. I did send her there. Aren’t you going to invite me in, Paris?
“I—
“We have a little session today Paris, you can invite me in now or wait until the session begins and you’ll be punished for being so inconsiderate.”
I stepped aside and let her in. She had a matte black walking stick tucked under her arm.
“Alexxa…I can’t afford a session with you”, I told her and gestured to the tiny apartment as proof.
“I know”, she said tilting my chin up. I hadn’t even realized I’d been look down, “I was talking to Seraphina and she told me you were working on a Dominant/submissive relationship and I told her I think a session with a more experienced woman would be helpful.”
“…and I’m guessing this is coming out of Sera’s paycheck?”
“At a discount.” She added.
I shook my head, “You’re a savvy businesswoman.”
She laughs, “Well Mr. Prince I may not be a Harvard grad like you but I’m not a dumb whore—“
“I didn’t say that, Alexxa I would never—“
She laughs and makes herself comfortable in the apartment.
“Well, you have respect for women. That’s good. I used to be an academic like you. I was a sex therapist before I got into the business. I was researching philias and fell in love with the BDSM lifestyle.”
“I’m not an academic”, I said defensively, “I’m just biding my time until I can get into law school. Then I’m running for office.”
She absently twirled the walking stick, “Politics? Well, I’ve been in business 15 years so I know you’ve also got the right kink for it.”
She set the walking stick down with a loud thump and leaned her weight on her right side.
“This isn’t a game you know?” Alexxa said, “This thing you want?”
“Politics?”
“No”, she said setting her rolling bag and walking stick in a corner, “This lifestyle. This thing you want. To submit, to please, to pleasure…to surrender yourself entirely? Total power exchange? It doesn’t stop because you’re elected mayor of some god-forsaken rural town or governor of Nebraska. Because if the exchange stops…well you weren’t really in it to begin with. To me D/s relationships are the highest form of commitment.”
I nodded because I understood that.
“I mean. Sera and I have discussed me being in control of my career.”
“Sounds dangerous”, she says, “When you are used to giving up control it can be stressful to have the one thing that you can mess up. Especially someone as anxious as you.”
“Sera told you about my anxiety…”
Alexa laugh turned slow and seductive. I can’t tell if it’s an act.
“Yes, she told me vagina make you anxious? We are going to have to talk about that.”
I flushed.
“Are you being paid to be my therapist or my Domme?”
“A good Dom, Paris. Any Dom should be both. You’re an ambitious task driven nervous boy with no grip on your sexuality. You were born to be a submissive. Let’s get started. We’ll do red or yellow if it’s too much.”
She set a digital time on the counter set it for one hour. She shrugged out of her coat revealing a black latex crop top and matching mini skirt. Her look is kind of dated but the outfit complimented her curves. She was in her mid-forties and comfortable in her body
“Do you have something to say, Paris?”
“You look nice”, I say honestly.
She picks up the walking stick and twirls it, it’s a little over the top but still impressive. She uses skull end on the cane to lower my chin forcing me to look her in the eye.
“Anything else?”
“I—“, I start, “I’m not used to people paying attention to me for more than a few minutes to be honest.”
Alexxa smiles.
“Well, I’ll have to talk to your Mistress about that. You shouldn’t spend too much time on your own, you might start getting ideas. We can’t have that can we, Paris?”
“No, Mistress Alexxa”
“When you aren’t being productive Paris your every single thought should be on pleasing your Mistress understood? Because keeping her happy is in your best interest, yes?”
“Yes, Mistress Alexxa.”
Alexxa strolled over to the couch and took a seat. She set her foot on a leather ottoman I’d found at Goodwill yesterday.
“My shoes have gotten filthy walking over here. Clean them.” She gestured to the bag she’d brought with her. It was filled with all sorts of tools for her more masochist clients. I gathered she wanted me to bring the leather and metal polisher. I sat on the floor by the ottoman and began the intricate work of working the leather cleaner around all the metal studs then switched to the metal cleaner to clean the studs. I had to focus and be mindful.
“Tell me about your mother.”
“Are you joking?”
She pulls hard against my hair reeling my neck back.
“So much attitude. When I ask you a question you answer it.”
“Sorry…Mistress Alexxa”, I said.
“Answer the question”, she says putting her other foot on the ottoman.
Something in my brain feels distorted and out of focus when I think about my mother.
“I don’t remember her. I was orphaned at age five and raised by my foster father.”
“Oh, I think I saw something about that in the news.”
My mind got fuzzy at that statement. The news? Why would--
“You didn’t grow up around women, then? “, Alexxa said.
I though on this. For the first eleven year of my life I was homeschooled. I’d occasionally seen the girls from the Girl’s Home and the nuns but I hadn’t really known much about opposite sex.
“My foster father kept me too busy He wanted me to remain focused.”
“What changed when you got older?”
“Nothing. I’d hear kids at school and my own brothers talk about sex and it sounded horrible. They said girls either complained or cried and there was blood. I didn’t even understand why they felt they only needed to be with girls in the first place.”
“Go on.”
“One day I caught some younger boys in my foster home watching this …really raw intense cheap porn video, I’d never seen a naked woman before and it looked kind of grotesque it looked like a big gaping gash between her legs. It just reminded me of when my face had been cut open. I had my first real panic attack. No one let me live it down. My foster father died a few weeks later and everyone mostly forgot…except me and my fucked up brain.”
“I don’t like cursing”, she snapped.
“I’m sorry”, I said.
I finished polishing the last stud and she set her foot down. The pair of heels looked much better all shined up.
“Paris, I think the longer you are forced into celibacy your yearning will outweigh your anxiety. I think you also need to work your way up to more intense erotic masochism. Emotional masochism is cerebral and you need to get out of your head.”
Alexa stood up and started inspecting the small apartment, her freshly shined heels clicking in perfect rhythm. She took her time coming back over to me and pulled me up roughly by my shirt collar.
“Sit”, she said pointing the ottoman and I did. The angle allowing her to look down at me and inspect my face
“That scar is something else”, she said leaning in, “Otherwise you’re a good-looking young man.”
“Thank you, Mistress”, I said because that what she wanted to hear. Then I added, “It’s the main reason people put up with me.”
She smirked at that comment, it was a slip of real emotion. I spent the rest of the session on my knees cleaning the floor and learning positions Alexxa liked her clients to assume. For the last 30 minutes she pulled out her glitter flecked black ropes and bound my hands behind my back and used her walking stick as a spreader bar to keep my ankles apart in a rather torturous hogtie positon. It was the first time I’d really been bound and my body did not easily contort.
“If you’d like to be released tell me the password to your computer”, she said holding up my laptop.
“Why—“
“You don’t get to ask the questions Paris.” She said.
“There isn’t one.”
She presses a key and opens my account.
“That’s good. When you are a sub you don’t need privacy.” she navigates to my web browser and opens my history, “Oh, what’s this. Why were you googling Isobel Charter? You spend a lot of time on BDSM sites. Let’s see news websites…boring….oh”
She sets the laptop down so I can see she’s opened a video I’d watched a few times from a gay porn site I frequented. In the clip two 38 year-olds playing college roommates walk in on each other naked. There is some unrealistic “college dialogue” before the real action starts out of nowhere.
“Sera did say you had a thing for getting tortured by your college roommate.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
She turned the volume up and I heard the familiar moans from the video. It was subtle and not to cheesy. She continues to browse the website to see the other videos I’d saved.
“I see you’re a member. Does Sera know you pay for this?”
“No”, I answer honestly
“See? You’re still holding back. Trying to take control. I’d say that’s a punishable offense-“
The little timer on the counter beeps and Alexxa looks a little crestfallen.
“Well, that went by fast”, She said quickly removing the binds and settling down to work a vanilla scented salve into the irritated skin.
“Goodness, you’re all skin and bones. Let’s talk aftercare. What kinds of things comfort you?” Alexa asked switching her heels for crocs.
“Certainty”
“Paris.”
“I don’t know.”
“Paris if you are going to be with a Dom… you need to be open and honest. Every step of the way.”
I couldn’t think of a single moment in my life when I’d been comforted. I had to dig way back in my memory.
“Well, when I was eleven I was super anxious about middle school and kept dropping weight. They had to put me in the hospital. For the first time I was all alone and I started crying. A nurse who thought I was younger than I was put her arms around me and held me. She stroked my hair and it felt …nice. In the Boy’s Home no one really touched me.”
“Doesn’t it feel good to be honest?”
Alexxa sat on the floor next to me and pulled me into her chest. She ran her fingers through my hair and kept looking at my scar. Eventually her hands left my hair and massaged my shoulders working away the tension there, then they started to explore other parts of my body.
She shifted her weight and moved on top of me. She leaned down brushing her nose against mine. I parted my lips slightly as an invitation that she quickly took. The kiss was unexpectedly hot and slow, I was kind of into the way her latex outfit moved and contorted with her body. I loved her confidence and how she had completely control over her sexuality and me. I wanted to be fucking useful. I wanted to be used by her, I wanted to give her the power I was never able to hold on to in my life.
“Alexxa”, I said pulling apart, “Is this…okay? Like legal.”
“Of course. Our sessions over. This isn’t a business transaction. The timer ran out. This is just recreational. “
I didn’t always know how to verbalize what I wanted sexually but with a natural Dom like Alexxa I didn’t have to, and it wasn’t long until we were fucking on the floor. My arms were outstretched above my head on the floor with her walking stick forcefully holding them down at the wrist. The specialty condoms she’d wanted to use intensified the sensation on her side and numbed it on mine. She could control her pleasure and worked her way to multiple searing orgasms around me. She was loud like me and even though it wasn’t as intense for me with those specialty condoms I still finished hard. Alexxa collapsed next to me on the floor grabbing a folding fan and water out of her bag.
“I love how enthusiastic you young ones are”, She said fanning herself, “You’re kind of small, though. You know they have surgeries for that?”
“I can barely afford a bigger apartment.”
“You know what I think Paris”, she said smiling and losing some of her fake Mid-Atlantic accent, “I think you need to know what a real cock feels like.
“Trust me. I know what a real cock feels like. I had a slut phase in college”
She smiled at my boldness and passed me a water bottle.
“Paris. I think you need to know what it’s like when my cock is in you. We can go shopping and you can pick one out. Pack my stuff and we’ll head out.”
Without thinking I got up and started packing. She took me to her favorite boutique sex shop in the city and then back to her upscale condominium in Adam’s Morgan. I never went back home after that. I spent the entire two weeks Sera was gone with Alexxa. She taught me about submission and respecting Dominants by having me go to work with her as her sub/personal assistant. None of the other girls who saw us together seemed surprised. When she was busy working I cleaned her apartment and learned how to make a half-way decent lunch without touching the stove. She found out I could sew and had me fix a few buttons on her clothes
“I used to have my former sub stay under my desk to service me when I did the books on Sunday”, she’d told me while showing me her office one day, “I was strict and unforgiving with him. I pushed his limits and completely emasculated him when he was home. He was one of D.C’s best lawyers.”
Alexxa never said the name of her former subs, she was always good about discretion and privacy.
“What happened?”
She shrugged
“Twelve years and he wanted out of the lifestyle. There is nothing you can do when that happens.”
We spent nights in her apartment. Her spare bedroom was a playroom and Alexxa presented me with a sampling the wide array of kinks she was well versed in. We were attracted to each other solely for the roles we were dedicated to and the sex that followed lasted for hours.
During the day we went shopping and she bought clothes she wanted me to wear when we out for dinner. She loved nice laid back restaurants I could never afford. Alexa always ordered for me and when she got bored of talking dirty, I picked her brain about legal sex work and we debated if there was room for regulation.
I’d been close to using a safe word when she made an appointment for me at a salon. I’d never had my hair professional cut and every hair on my body waxed off.
“I thought we were working our way up to the masochism”, I said after she paid the waxing bill.
“I think you enjoyed it a little bit”, she said, “Especially considering how happy it makes me.”
Fuck. I did like giving her what she wanted.
“A tiny bit”, I said as I got into her BMW.
“Good. Because when we get back to my apartment we’re going to have a little photoshoot.”
±±±
I was pathetically waiting by the window when the light blue VW pulled up. Leaving Alexxa’s had been bittersweet and she’d dropped me off on her way to work with just the things I’d brought to her apartment.
I could see Sera in the backseat with Sven, they now had the same deep golden tan and he carried her bags to the door where they talked for a few minutes in an intimate and casual way before she kissed him good-bye.
I opened the door before she could and bought in the outlet mall bags she’d brought back.
“I missed you”, I said, “How was it—what the fuck?”
I immediately noticed the bruised skin around her eye she was trying to cover with cheap make-up.
“What the fuck, Sera? This is not okay—“
“It’s fine. It’s not from work …I did it on my day off. I got into a fight at a bar.”
“Fuck. How was the rest of the trip?”
She shrugged.
“It was okay. It was like working in a really kinky hotel and we just had to participate in Master/slave games and parties”, she said setting a thick binder on the counter. My eye caught the delicate diamond tennis bracelet on her wrist.
“Nice bracelet.”
She looked at it but seemed unimpressed
“The owner. Hidalgo. I mean Dom Hidalgo gave it to me.”
“Is that like…a collar?”
“God, no”, She said watching the diamonds catch the light, “He’s not a fan of dominant women and I was a little…combative as a submissive. He said I was the only Domina he could never get to fully submit to him. He’s…really sophisticated like you.”
“Oh. I can run you a bath if you’d like. You could relax.” I said trying to be empathic like Alexxa taught me.
Sera was looking at the bracelet again distracted, “Okay. I guess. I have reading to do anyway.”
At that she lifted the binder that was under her arm
“What’s that”, I mentally bit my tongue. If she wanted me to know she’d tell me.
Instead of answering she flipped open the first page and I saw a plastic sleeve filled with the pictures Alexa had taken during our private photoshoot. It started off innocently enough with pictures of me in the expensive clothes she’d brought me but that quickly changed with each photo. I kept flipping and there were detailed notes showing everything Alexxa and I had done together. Alexxa had cataloged every sex act, every orgasm every punishment, kink and fetish.
“Sera. You know I was going to tell you about all this. I know it was supposed to just be one session but Alexxa knows we have an open relationship. I don’t know what she’s trying to pull by—“
“She’s not trying to pull anything. Alexxa asked me if she could train you for two weeks while I was gone. I sort of rolled my eyes but she’s really thorough. Plus now I know what you do and say when I’m not around. She thinks you’re charming but I see past all that bullshit.”
I was speechless realizing they’d been fucking with me. I really wasn’t in control of shit.
“Come on. Let’s see what you’ve learned.”
±5±
Sera and Alexxa’s mentor/mentee relationship took a turn real fast.
Sera had been working at Triple Ex for just over a year but we were still floating financially because Sera’s income wasn’t predictable. If Alexxa was in a good mood Sera could bring home $900-1200 in one week. If Alexxa was on her bullshit and requiring classes or costume rentals it could be anywhere between $50-150.
It didn’t make sense because Sera was picking up a lot more regular clients. Alexxa begrudgingly trained her on more intense impact play, whipping and bondage because clients wanted more from Sera. It wasn’t long before Alexxa’s long-time clients wanted to see Sera instead. Even the local sex clubs Alexxa did demos for wanted someone younger, taller and more intense.
It wasn’t fair to Alexxa, but it didn’t help that she was also kind of a snob in the community. She looked down on smaller scrappier BDSM outlets. I think people wanted a reason to piss her off.
Alexxa got creative and started sending Sera out to regional conventions and alternative lifestyle bashes to work the Triple Ex vendor booth at her own expense. She did this despite knowing Sera didn’t have a car and would have to lug the set up onto buses and trains.
One weekend I tagged along with Seraphina to the Unbreakable International BDSM convention in Baltimore since Alexxa sent Sera with six bags of equipment and a bus ticket.
I helped her set the booth up per Alexxa’s instructions. She wanted a simple suspension rig set up in front of a step and repeat. The goal was to get 100 new people on the e-mail list, sell Triple Ex day passes and encourage people to shop in Triple Ex’s Shopify store.
Once the booth was set up a lot of straight men lined up to try the rig and have a photo taken. You could spot who was in the lifestyle and who just wanted to be near a half-dressed Domme. Not that you could take Sera seriously in the bright pink sparkly latex shorts, bra and flat knee-high boots Alexxa insisted she wear.
I had to handle things for at least an hour while Sera was having a long conversation with an older woman in a conservative pantsuit. Sera kept her flirting subtle to match the woman’s. I didn’t know what it was about Sera that people just looked at her and clocked her as bi.
“You have to be more decisive”, I said to Sera once the woman had left, “Women never pay to go to dungeons. It’s the straight guys you have to entice.”
Sera turned to me with her arms folded, “Why do you care about helping Alexxa make more money. I said you could come if you stayed quiet and worked on your thesis”
“Sorry. I’m going to take a walk around the floor if that’s okay.”
“Go ahead.”
I always find kink events oddly calming. There are problems in the community to be sure, but it’s nice hearing people talk about sex and kink in the open without fear of being judged. I’d borrowed Sera’s vendor badge and found people were more open to networking if they thought I worked at Triple Ex.
We were supposed to pack up and head home that night but I talked some traditional Shibari practitioners visiting from Japan into giving Sera a private lesson in their suites.
“Why would you do that?” Sera asked as she was packing up the booth
“Because they are professionals from Japan. It’s an opportunity to learn and you’re good with ropes. I bet they can teach you things Alexxa doesn’t know. They said they’d work with you tonight for free.”
“Is Shibari something you want to do?” she asked
“You know me I’ll try anything once”
Sera squinted and focused on breaking down the table.
“If it’s not something you want then why should I bother?”
I couldn’t believe it wasn’t more obvious to her.
“For your clients.”
“They aren’t my clients. They are Alexxa’s clients.”
“Trust me Sera. They are your clients.”
Sera studied me and I couldn’t believe she had never seen it that way before.
“I guess”, she said double checking we had all the bags, “You know…sometimes after a session clients will pull me aside and ask about private sessions in their work apartments or hotels”
“How many is some?” I asked
“Eight”,
“…did they mention a rate?
“One of them said $750 for two hours. They said no sex…just scenes but I wasn’t sure…”
“I’ll do some research”, I said as the Shibari practitioners waived at me across the room, “In the meantime let’s do a little career development.”
When we got back from the conference (after spending the night in a terrifying hotel) I snuck into the Georgetown library so I could access their digital law books and read up on D.C vice law.
“I think you can do this”, I said when Seraphina got home from Triple Ex at 3am. I’d startled her at the front door
“Do what?” she asked sitting at the counter on her phone. She’d given me back my flip phone and brought herself an iPhone that she spent half her time texting on.
“See clients privately. Moonlighting. I mean if that’s something you want to do.”
“It would be good money”, she said still texting.
“Yes. . . Just remember sexual favors are illegal. There can’t be oral sex or penetration.” I said reading off the notes I took , “Probably be safe to avoid kissing on the mouth.”
“Okay”, she said still on her phone.
“Sera, who are you texting?”
The look she gave me could have frozen hell over, “The woman from the convention. January Cordell. She owns the building Triple Ex is in. She’s different. I really like her.”
“I just need a few minutes, Darling. This legal stuff is really important.”
“Since you asked nicely”, she said put her phone down, “I’m listening. How are we going to do this?”
To keep everything neat and legit I got a business license, tax ID number and started an LLC under Sera’s stage name Mistress. Athena. I set up a small business account at an online bank and filtered $20 in as seed money.
We settled on a rate of $175 an hour and invested in some basic gear; blindfolds crop, handcuffs and ropes. I found a bright red vintage rolling train case at the Goodwill she could carry everything in. Fetish wear was expensive but the clients seemed to appreciate the sexy streetwear and the dresses she cobbled together from quirky thrift stores. Except for disinfectant and travel there was barley any overhead.
Soon men who were friends of friends wanted to book sessions. Sera wasn’t going for it.
“I don’t want to see anyone privately I don’t know from Triple Ex”, Sera said when I asked about getting new clients
“What if they have referrals?”
“I don’t want to get another black eye.” she said.
I sat and looked to Sera for an explanation.
“In Florida? That wasn’t a bar fight?”
“We all had a night off in Miami. We went to a fet club down there and this harmless submissive guy flirted with me. He wanted to play. I told Sven and the girls I was going home with him. He lived in a trailer in the middle of nowhere. He seemed normal but when we got started he was really combative . He got kind of aggressive and insisted he needed to show me how the zip ties he used worked. I tried to leave and we got into a fight. I ran out of there and had to call Sven to pick me up.”
“Sera you should have told me.” I said.
“What were you going to do about it?”
“Okay, we don’t pull any outside clients.”
Word eventually got out about Sera seeing clients outside a dungeon and a lot of independent Dommes in the community weren’t happy about it. They felt Sera was to young and inexperienced to go out on her own, not to mention she was stealing some of the highest paying clients in the area.
One of the few people who didn’t seem to have an issue with is was January Cordell. The woman she’d met at the convention. What Sera didn’t say about her new girlfriend was that she not only owned Triple Ex’s building but that she was a prominent real estate lawyer with adult entertainment and fetish properties around the world. January was down to earth despite, what I gathered., her tremendous wealth.
I didn’t officially get to meet January until they invited me to dinner. January was 15 years older than me and she was thoughtful, serious and quiet in a way that complemented Sera’s similar nature. They seemed so intensely calm and peaceful sitting together.
January’s blonde hair was pulled into a severe ponytail and she was sporting a shawl collar sweater with cold shoulders and white pants. Sera’s hair was at her shoulders now, her makeup was clean and natural except the bright lipsticks she liked to buy for herself. She had on a very short cream colored off the shoulder chiffon romper and nude high heels. I was taken aback when I saw her, Sera never bought feminine clothes unless it was for work.
“I’m taking Seraphina to a Clandestine event after dinner if you’d like to come Paris”, January said after our meals arrived. The conversation had been going well, I was doing all of the talking and they seemed content to let me.
I’d heard of the exclusive sex club whose private parties were as much about status as it was sleeping with models
“I don’t think I’m Clandestine material. Isn’t it like $100,000 just to join? The party entry fees are like thousands of dollars”
Even Sera almost choked on her white wine hearing that price.
“It’s actually $45k to join but I’m a founding owner so you don’t have to pay.”
“Paris has to go home and study”, Sera said moving a stray blonde hair from January’s face getting what I would learn was a rare half-smile for January.
“That’s too bad. Sea’s always saying how interested you are in the kink business. ”
“I just like seeing how things work. My real career goal it to work in politics.”
January considered this before speaking.
“Aren’t you worried being in the lifestyle might work against you?”
“I don’t plan on making Sera and I’s D/s relationship public, but I think people are more open minded to kink. I can see legalizing sex work being one of my platforms.”
“I’m intrigued. Seraphina, how about letting Paris come to Clandestine for an hour. Then you can send him home.”
Sera was probably pissed at me for being so fucking likable but she had a soft spot for January.
“Fine.”
January smiled and turned back to me, I noticed Sera involuntary returned the playful smile and kissed her cheek. Even though she was dating a Domme, Jan wasn’t active in the scene and I realized that equal give and take Sera had with January was not something I’d ever have with Sera again.
The Clandestine party was in a Gatsby-esque mansion hidden in the hills. It was a far cry from Ace Hall. The wait staff had matching harness over their uniforms, there were suspended cage dancers, acrobats, and contortionist in what I gathered was an erotic carnival theme.
January posted up at a private balcony with me while Sera stayed down at the party. Sera was easy to spot in the crowd as she walked up to a group of women she seemed to recognize. Jan and I talked politics for a bit and she gave me a primer on how to fill out tax and business forms so we wouldn’t accidentally get flagged as prostitution.
“How many”, January asked after a moment of silence.
“How many what?”
“How many hearts has she broken?”
“None. So far as I know.
Sera is usually the one that gets left.”
“I guess that’s good to know”, January said more to herself, “I think we are
over our hour. Let me call you that cab”,
I hadn’t been able to spot Sera in the crowd but January said she’d let her know I left.
“Hey. Sir. Excuse me”, I heard someone calling after me as I headed down the front steps. I turned to see a middle-aged man following me. He was one of the men working with the caterers.
“Me?”
“Yeah. Sorry”, He said stopping to catch his breath, “So…do you have any appointments available?”
“What?”
“Oh. I thought…um. Mistress Athena right? You …”
“Oh”, I said seeing myself in this man. A submissive man looking to explore tendencies the world wanted to shame us for, “I mean she only sees members from Triple Ex. “
“Oh. Yeah. I mean... I do pretty well but I can’t afford that place.” He was the definition of crestfallen. Hell, if I wasn’t married would I be in his same boat? Desperately trying to find an affordable legitimate Mistress?
“Well”, I said, “I guess if you could get some references maybe she could work something out.”
“Okay. That’s be great”, he said beaming, “Here’s my card.”
He held his other hand out as if he expected me to hand him a card. Business cards, I thought. Is that a thing Sera should have now?
“I’ll give you a call.”
“Thank you. Thanks “, he said heading back in.
I tucked his card into my pocket and headed down the steps when a knock to my ankles tripped me up. I righted myself as Alexxa pulled back her cane.
“What was that?” she asked pointing the way the man had come. She was wearing a tight latex sheath dress with a matching ascot. She had a gear bag on wheels beside her. She must have been working the whipping post tonight.
“Nothing.”
“What are you even doing here? This is a Clandestine party. I waited years just to book a gig here”
“January invited me”
“You know January Cordell?” Alexxa said narrowing her eyes.
“Well. Sera is dating her.”
Alexxa shook her head.
“You know”, Alexxa said and I could tell she was ticked, “I know about Sera seeing clients outside of Triple Ex. I just figured she’d get overwhelmed and stop. It takes more to succeed in this business than just being pretty and tall. That will get you in the door but you have to put in the years like I have to really make it. Not 18 goddamn months”
Now it was my turn to get a little ticked off.
“Alexxa things are changing. I mean 19 year olds are making real money as dominant Camgirls. The industry is changing. Kink is becoming more mainstream—“
“You”, Alexxa said a little over dramatically and pointed a sharp acrylic at me, “Sera’s not smart enough to do this on her own. You are putting ideas in her head. You can tell your wife she’s fired”
“Moonlighting isn’t against the contract she signed.”
“You’re not a lawyer”, she snapped. I felt really embolden going up against a Domme.
“It doesn’t matter”, I tell her, “You know the minute you fire Sera her clients are walking. You’ll lose their memberships.”
She thought about this and rolled her eyes
“You’re a little devil aren’t you, Paris Prince”, Alexxa said, “I don’t let newbies walk all over me.”
±6±
Alexxa couldn’t fire Sera but she got real creative. She cut Sera’s hours and sent her to more small conventions and shows. In return Sven (who also wasn’t an Alexxa fan but worked at Triple Ex one week a month) helped Sera entice more Triple Ex clients to schedule private sessions. Alexxa ended up losing two members because they found home visits more convenient.
Alexxa changed Sera’s stage name on the website and removed her picture to confuse people. Then she put Sera up as “walk-in” only status. The only people who walked-in to dungeons were usually bad seeds. Bullies who wanted to taunt Dommes or people who didn’t understand no sex was involved. None of them tipped.
The community in D.C was small. when people got word of Alexxa feuding with one of her girls it was divided. Even though we hadn’t been to Ace Hall in months Master Mitch quietly removed us from his membership roll to maintain his relationship with Alexxa.
Despite the drama I focused on finishing my final semester at Georgetown and pushing my thesis through.
“I will be so glad when you graduate and I don’t have to work anymore”, Sera said while perched on the counter. I was on my knees shining the knee high leather boots she’d found a discount department store.
I was sort of excited by the idea of Sera not working and having more time on her hands to think of ways to put me to work and keep me in my place. But I knew it wouldn’t be happening anytime soon.
“I… actually got an acceptance letter to Columbia. I meant to tell you”
“Really?” she said, “We should celebrate.”
“Not law school. It’s another master’s program. Um, Accounting and fundamental analysis. I figured I could go to school in New York during the week and come back here on weekends.”
“That sounds expensive…”
“Well. I’ve been looking at the money coming in and if one of us got a roommate…I think we can manage two apartments.”
Sera let her foot drop back into my palm and I worked the leather cleaner over the scuffed heel.
“I could get a roommate”, she muses, “Maybe someone wanting to be a live-in submissive.”
“I can post something on one of the local message boards.”
“To bad Sven likes to be all ‘free range’. You should see how he just turns on and off his submission. I’d want to fuck him all the time if he was mine. It’d be such a challenge to stop myself.”
“I’m not challenging?”
“I mean you’re challenging because you’re disrespectful but you’ve always been like that—“
“I do not—“, I realized I was speaking out of turn.
“Anyway. Dominants should also be wildly turned on by their subs. When Sven is in town we practice in the dungeon and watching him in pain and begging for pleasure turns me on.”
Now that she was done I let myself speak.
“What I’m hearing is you aren’t attracted to me.”
“I’ve always been in love with you and you’re cute …but the one time I let you on top…it was like getting fucked by a skeleton.” My insecurities hit me like a wave as Sera gave me her other boot to polish, “That’s okay Paris. You have other ways of being useful. That should make you feel good.”
It kind of did.
“It does...”
“We can still celebrate though. Columbia is a pretty big deal.” she said and I perked up a little hoping it would involve me having some sort of orgasm.
“Okay.”
“First you can take all your clothes off. Fold them neatly on the bed meet me in the bathroom and I’ll let you shave my legs. I’m way too tired to do it myself.”
Not the reward I was hoping for.
“Yes, Darling.”
±7±
My heart wasn’t in it when I graduated from Georgetown. It was just one more degree between me and law school. After the ceremony I met up with my classmates. A few of us had plans to go to dinner with our spouses. I hadn’t seen Sera at all after the ceremony and started to get a little worried. Just as my group was headed out I saw her jogging over in a tailored dusty green gender-neutral suit with her hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail. Her face was slightly red and dewy like she’d just taken off her makeup.
“Sorry”, she said, “I was late. I missed it.”
“It’s okay”, I said then introduced her around.
Despite Sera’s new dominant outlook on life she was still quiet around new people but had warmed up to the other couples when dessert came around. She told them she worked in a sex shop because that was just easier to explain. By the time we said our good-byes I realized it was the first time I’d eaten out without getting anxious over prices, Sera had just paid in cash leaving a generous tip.
When everyone left Sera and I moved to the bar. She ordered a whisky for herself and sparkling water for me. She drank half her whiskey before speaking.
“Paris. I quit my job.”
“What?”
Sera shook her head trying to figure out where to start.
“I took today off months ago and Alexxa tried to schedule me. She told me I must have gotten confused but like…I knew what day my husband was graduating. We got into a huge fight and I quit.”
“Sera, that’s what she wanted.” I hated to think Alexxa had used me to get Sera to quit.
“I don’t know if I can get hired anywhere else that pays as well”, Sera said.
“Maybe January can help.”
“Sometimes Clandestine hires people to work parties but that’s not steady. Besides…I’m also kind of afraid she wants more than I can give. She wants me to settle down with her but I can’t because I have to help you with college. I told her our relationship would always come first when we started dating but…fuck it’s complicated.”
“I’m sure you guys will work it out. You have clients you trust. Get referrals from them. Go through the business cards you’ve gotten from those convention and see if anyone has any work. You’ve got this.”
“It’s too much. Sven keeps trying to show me this online stuff. He thinks it’s so funny I don’t have a computer and he says I need an Instagram? This is the kind of shit I need you for.”
“Sera. I can’t stay here. We already sent the check to Columbia.”
“I know.” she said finishing her drink, “and I guess I’m coming with you.”
---
Author’s Note.
Yes, Sera probably writes X-rated Downton Abbey fanfiction.
Muse: But Lils you said Sera wasn’t a TV/Movie person in the comment section of the last post
Lils: In my head she’s not but this show speaks to her oeuvre. In my head she watches it on Paris’ laptop.
When I wrote I Have A Destiny it was just a fun lark about Paris but I always knew there was more to Sera’s story and that she suffered the same emotional abuse and assault she does in her Non-Human story.
Also in I Have A Destiny Paris is a recent law school graduate. When I wrote that I knew Paris was a professional student for most of his 20’s and got his first job in New Crest City at 28 (well 27 ¾). When I wrote the novella what I didn’t account for was that law school is only 2 ½ - 3 years. Which is why he goes to grad school twice and D.C is not mentioned in the novella.
I’ll show my cards. January Cordell showed up in Chapter 9 in a
throwaway line but I wanted to write her a bit here. Okay. This is the last 10K + Chapter...
.