+1+
I print out the driving instructions and grab the spare key card for the Tesla. It takes me about an hour to remember which deck it’s parked in. The car is so fucking quiet. It makes the whole drive strangely peaceful.
I feel what I think is anxiety. I haven’t driven more than a few miles in almost a decade. As I get on the bridge and head out of the city --I realize how easy it would be to get lost in the darkness. I get comfortable after the first hour and figure out how to turn the radio on. I only stop once to piss and buy another Red Bull. I get looks from the cashier because I’m still in my black escort dress. I take a few minutes to touch up my makeup with the scant supplies I have in the car. I don’t know why.
After a second hour passes it all starts to look a little familiar. I recognize the signs for Sommerton and Morris County. I drive 30 miles west and I’m home. The sign for St. Lilith’s is gone. It’s lying flat in the street and covered in graffiti. I look at the digital map on the car. There is nothing for miles around. I never realized how isolated the town was
I turn my music down and keep an eye out for…what I’m not sure. I drive slowly past the Motel 6 and QuikMart. God, there really was nothing in this town they dumped us in. It nothing but sparse farmland, schools, churches and rundown Victorian houses.
I don’t know what to expect when I drive up to Helios’ house on the hill. I figured it would be quiet and abandoned but it’s far from it. There is a small party going on out front.
Men, who used to be boys, sit around a fire pit. I realize they didn’t hear the car coming and some stand defensively and put a hand on their holstered guns. Some of the guys look like outsiders. They look drunk and drugged up.
I pop open the trunk and exit the car as gracefully as I can. In the dark they whistle and catcall. It feels a little good. I grab my cane out the travel case in my trunk. It’s the only thing I have to protect myself.
One of the biggest guys studies me. I watch the smile fade from his mouth once he gets a good look at me. Jorgen. I’d recognize him anywhere. He’s gotten jacked and aged twice as many years.
“You know you’re not welcome here, Seraphina.”
The guys behind him begin to whisper and sit up straight.
“I want to see him.” I say.
“You have some nerve coming back here after the shit you pulled.”
I roll my eyes. I’d stolen money from Helios when Leon and I left this house. I can’t believe Jorgen remembers that but not what his friends did to Leon and I when they tracked us down in the church parking lot.
I slip my hand into the bodice of my dress and take out a few bills I’d placed there. I throw them at his feet. It was way more than what I owed them. I bite back a smile and dig my heels into the ground as he bends down to pick the money up.
Good boy.
I walk past them because they are so fucking insignificant and worthless to me. Jorgen barley deserved to get on his knees in front of me. Speaking of, I hear him calling for me to stop. I ignore him and reach for the front door. It’s locked. That’s new. Guess Helios has real enemies now.
“Seraphina”, Jorgen snaps, “Get the fuck out of here—“
I turn to look at him in his hard soulless blue eyes.
“What? Are you going to do? Call the cops.”
His filthy unworthy hands reaches for me and I shove the cane handle into his solar plexus. He falls back but sits up after a quick recovery. I shove my heel into his jaw until he stays down.
Fuck him
Fuck all of them.
I tighten my grip on the cane and break the window surrounding the door. The others are making their way over. I stick my hand through the broken panes and open the door.
I head up the stairs…then stop.
I hear slow careful footsteps coming up from the basement. Helios never allowed me in there when I lived here. I open the basement door and I find Helios making his way up the staircase. He looks shocked. The expression almost makes him look human. I walk down a few steps until we meet in the middle.
He’s gorgeous. He’d grown from a hot guy into a dangerously handsome man. His eyes are deeper set and his sharp cheekbones are more pronounced. The stubble across his chin makes him look tough and weary. He’s traded in his lithe muscular form for a leaner one that’s cut in just the right way. His dark pants cling to his strong thighs. His white undershirt is taught across his swollen pectorals.
Beyond him I can see the entire basement has been set up as gym. Dirty machines and weights are splayed across a shiny hardwood floor. A small practice ring is set up in the back. A punching bag is still swinging.
Helios holds up his hand which I now see are encased in MMA gloves.
“Fuck”, he says letting his gaze wander, “I thought the guys had brought me an early birthday present. Look at you.”
I don’t know what to say to that. So I say nothing.
“What do you want Seraphina?”
I don’t know why I’m here. So I make something up.
“I wanted to pay you back for the money I stole. Jorgen has it.”
He lifts his lips into a crooked smile. Everything that drew me to him in high school comes flooding back. Particularly between my thighs.
“It took you ten years?”
“I-“
“Is it his money? Leon told me you were letting that little God-hating elitist ass fuck you cause you couldn’t make it on your own. I don’t want any of that bastard’s money. Tell me what you are really doing here.”
“I don’t know.” I say honestly and follow him into the basement.
“Were you that desperate to get away from here”, He asks “That you had to marry that rich fag? Were you that desperate to get off the streets?”
“I did what I had to do.”
Helios jogs up to the basement door and locks us inside. For the first time he notices the cane but doesn’t say anything. He knew I’d married Paris but that was it. Leon had admitted he’d ranted to Helios when he found out I’d gotten married. It was one of the last times he ever spoke to Helios
“I missed you.” he says.
He steps closer and meets my eyes. I missed this. The beating mixture of fear, tension and want. He is still so handsome and dangerous. I am still drawn to him in a way that fucked with me in high school. I want to be him. I want to fuck him. I want both.
“I don’t know what I want.” I admit to him, “I don’t know why I came here.”
“Do you want to be Mrs. Prince?”
I recoil at the name. I hated it. I hated it when people called me that. Like I belonged to him. Like he deserved me. My husband would always be beneath me. He would only get what I allowed him to have and my name wasn’t one of them.
But.
If I ever wanted to belong to any man…it was Helios Thantos. Why was that ?
The click of my heels on the wood floor sends a delightful shiver through me.
“I don’t have a choice.” It’s true. Paris and I are destined to be together. There is nothing I could do to stop it.
“Stay here.” Helios offers He pulls me close until there is barely an inch of space between us, “Things are different now. I own this house now. The man who bought us here has retired. I’ve got dealings all around this territory. I’ll take care of you. Give you everything you ever desired. Especially if you have more dresses like this.”
He blows against my collarbone and presses his lips to my neck, “I’ve missed you. Stay with me Seraphina.”
His cologne is a hypnotic combination of orange and patchouli. I let him kiss me up to my neck and to my lips. I open my mouth for him and deepen the kiss. His fingers dance along the back of my neck pulling me closer. I let out a small moan. He laughs quietly.
“Does he satisfy you?”
“I get what I need from him.”
Control. Power. Dominance. It feels good to pull the strings and make my husband do whatever I want. I love how hard he works for my attention and affection. I love how much I crave his trust, dark needs and wants. I love being in charge …but it doesn’t always satisfy me in the deep carnal way I want.
Helios’ hand trails down my body and rest at the back of my thigh.
“Does he fuck you like a man?”
“…no”, I hate to say it aloud. I don’t even know what Helios means but I inherently know my husband doesn’t satisfy me the way everyone else can. It just took a certain personality to fuck me like I needed sometimes.
“Fuck. Seraphina. I’ve barely touched you and I bet you’ve already soaked through your panties.” I kiss his slightly parted lips. He pulls me in for a deeper kiss, his hand finds its way between my legs and he twists the wet fabric.
“Stay with me Seraphina”, He continues, “With your people. I’ll make it worth it. This territory will be ours. You can stay. Be mine and I’ll make sure everyone treats you like the fucking queen you are.”
He’d said the words that would trigger any Domme. I wanted to be a fucking queen. I wanted to live in the gray areas. I wanted to control this town like it tried to control me. I wanted to be in his bed again. I wanted all those good days we’d had.
No more paid dates with forgettable men, no more long hours painting my face, no more bills and business decisions I didn’t understand. No more disgruntled clients and uncomfortable touches. I wanted to my nights back. I wanted to finally be taken care of.
I wanted…
What did I really want?
What do you really want, Seraphina?
I smile to myself.
I know.
“Okay” I say.
“Okay?” he says gripping my waist.
“I’ll stay with you. If you can make me come.”
“If ? That was never hard if I remember.”
I open my mouth to respond, but the pent up lust is making it hard to articulate. Helios laughs.
“You know what, Seraphina. Deal.”
He shoves me against the padded wall so fast the wind gets knocked out of me. He yanks me towards him into a kiss. It’s brutal and hard. He bites down on my tongue and bottom lips while his quick fingers rip my underwear until the torn fabric lays at my feet. He pulls his shirt off. His arms are still tense and flexed. He has a tattoo under bicep now. I fight the urge to kiss it. His blue eyes have darkened and all I see is desire in them.
He roughly pulls my dress up to my waist and slowly gets his knees. Shit. I didn’t expect what Helios on his knees would do to me. My legs felt shaky but I kept them together, not that it mattered because my oversized clit and labia peeked through. The tip of his tongue traces the exposed flesh and I am almost done for.
I spread my legs for him, Helios has learned a lot with age. His tongue works slow, licking and spreading me. His eyes looking up at me the entire time. His fingernails dig into my thighs to keep me open. I wonder if he knows what pain does for me sometimes.
He suddenly stands and takes off his joggers. His cock is rock hard and he seems to have more control over it than he did years ago. It’s perfectly sculpted. His tip is huge and engorged all over
“Look at you”.” He asks running him thumb over my swollen pussy, “Are you finally going to admit you stretch your pussy lips.” His kisses I and I bite him this time, “Probably fucked up your pussy because you masturbate too much for a girl.”
Did he even know he was recycling insults from a decade ago? I could handle his insults now.
“You know, Helios I’ve eaten enough pussy to know you’re just being an asshole--”
He starts finger fucking me and I can barely fight back the water gathering in my eyes and the moan at the back of my throat. Then he stops. I feel a little dizzy but his strong hand steadies me. I fight the urge to beg him to continue.
“Tighten around my finger.” he growls, “Fuck. That’s it. Relax. Fuck. Fuck, Seraphina. Shit. Relax.”
It took a while for me to convince my body to relax and that makes him smile. He switches his index finger for his pinky finger.
“Is this what it feels like when your husband fucks you?” He asks laughing to himself.
I couldn’t answer him if I wanted to. My body is craving so much more than that pinky. He adds two more fingers, then a fourth without warning. My body involuntary grips when he folds in his thumb My heels slip a little and the taut invasion puts me in fight-or-flight mode The pads of his fingers run over the my g-spot and it makes the stretching and shallow thrust a little bit more bearable.
“Let’s see how much of a fucking slut”, He says. I reach for his wrist when he tries to push in past his knuckles
“No.” I say.
He smiles at that word. For the first time in years I’m afraid a man I want to fuck won’t listen to me. I forgot what this fear taste like. It’s bitter.
“I know you can take it,” he says. To my surprise he listens and pulls out quickly. The want is still there though.
“By the way it counts if I make you squirt.”
That didn’t seem fair, but I didn’t want to discuss nuances with him. A movement catches my eye and I realize there is a mirrored wall across the way. I get a glimpse of my reflection. Dress up to my waist with slick thighs. My curls are a loose and limp. My lipstick is smeared across my mouth and my watering eyes have left a tell-tale line of watery eyeliner down my cheek.
Helios bites my lip and blood drips down my chin.
“You’re suck a fucking slut.” he whispers bringing my arms around his neck.
Helios steps closer and lifts me to straddle his waist with my back against the wall. Without warning he slams into me. He’s bigger than I remember and rocks his hips to make sure I can feel every thick inch. I don’t think anyone has ever picked me up before. The muscles in his arms are tense and working overtime-- but he’s holding me like I weigh nothing.
He breathes in deep and picks up the pace, going as deep as he can. I can’t tell if his throaty moans are from the pleasure or the strain. He fucks me deliberately. He starts to slow using small shallow strokes then picks up again. The build-up of pleasure is intense. His name is all I can say. His cock twitches a little and I know he’s close because a litany of ‘fucks’ spill out of his mouth. A thin layer of sweat is on my thighs and his hand struggle to keep purchase.
I feel so fucking full and the impending pleasure seems to have spread to every part of my body. Fuck. I wanted more of this all of the time. This is what I’ve been missing. My nails dig into his backside He grunts and readjust. One of my legs slips from his grasp and I ungracefully fall onto the floor.
The second I hit the ground he grabs me by my hair and force my face into the ground. He starts slams into me from behind at a ruthless pace. The force of it makes it hard to stay quiet. It feels more invasive than pleasurable... I feel my knee slips and he quick corrects it.
“Keep your fucking ass up. Tightening up for me. Fuck.”
Soon he is chasing his own pleasure like a dying man. He pulls hard on my hair and brings his hand down hard on my ass when I try to readjust my position, I’m not sure how long I can handle his brutal pace. I feel his cock start to swell and spill. Helios shoves me onto my back. He drags my dress up to expose my chest and ejaculates on my thighs and stomach.
+2+
Helios leans back against the wall catching his breath. I’m so keyed up I swear I blackout for a microsecond. I ball my hands into fist and fight the urge to touch myself. I stare up at the ceiling and try to cool down. There are celing fans but they aren’t as clean as the ones in my bedroom. A camera click brings me back to my senses. I sit up and see Helios is tucking his phone in his pocket.
“Don’t worry. Your face isn’t in it.”, he says wiping his face with a gym towel, “Just your gaping cum-filled pussy. Your husband will be pissed I loosened it up so much for him.”
I snatch the phone from him and delete the picture.
He laughs, “I wasn’t going to send it to him.”
I throw the phone across the floor. I get to my knees and manage to stand up. It takes several minutes for me to steady myself.
“Wait a minute…you…didn’t come”, he says. The realization tears at his pathetic little bitch ass ego.
“Oh. I know--”
He slaps me. No he back hands me and pushes me into the wall. For a second I’m nineteen years old again hoping I can fix whatever I did wrong.
“You knew you wouldn’t”, he spits, “You probably can’t. You think you can fuck with me. Fucking bitch. Go be his problem. You had your chance with me.”
I am not that scared nineteen year-old anymore. I know who Helios really is. I know how to scare him.
“… I know about the guy. The one who owned this house before. Who brought you to America.” I say pushing myself to stand.
“I own this house now.” He says coldly.
“I know the previous owner has been under this house for almost a decade.”
He smirks
“Leon told you? What we did as kids. You better keep your mouth shut unless you want Leon to go to prison too. That guy was a real monster. He only brought us here so we could smuggle shit for him. Now we run this territory” His voice softens as he looks at me, “Seraphina, I love you. Things get volatile but I love you. If you want to run away from that skinny genocidal asshole ... I’ll always make room for you.”
I feel rooted to the spot. I’d never heard him be so genuine. Maybe I could handle his anger now. I could learn be ruthless here. I could have real power. I could have control that went beyond a few hours in a sex dungeon.
I could learn to manage Helios.
It was Helios I always wanted. I searched for Helios features every time I took a male submissive to my bed. I wanted this monster to be mine. I wanted to tame him. I wanted to put him on a leash and make him worship me. I wanted to break him and make him serve me. Fuck. The wicked games we could play with each other. Toxic love and all. Why couldn’t we be better for each other?
Shit. I wipe a tear away.
Helios was zero sum. If I had him, I wouldn’t want or need anyone else.
But maybe there were bigger plans for me. Plans that went beyond the town lines.
“Helios, this town and all the small counties is your little kingdom. Just like high school was. That’s why you’ve never left. Out there, in the real world, you’re nothing—“
“You have no fucking idea what I’m capable of. You retarted fucking bitch. You better run home and fuck your husband because you are sure as fuck pregnant with another bastard—“
The right hook I take to his jaw sends a tremor of pain down my arm. He’s out like a light and hits the mat hard on his way down. I run as fast as I can in up the stairs and toward the front door.
The idiots outside have broken the window to my car and are going through it.
“Get the fuck away from my car”, I shout.
They ignore me but I shove them out the way to get into the car. They have the sense to back off when I carelessly attempt drive over them. My hands shake the entire way out of town.
+++
The heat of his touch and my arousal dissipate by the time I hit the interstate. I cautiously rub the spot on my arm to feel my birth control implant. The drive back to the city feels faster. I can’t remember which deck I’m supposed to park in so I just pay 60 dollars for the one closest to my building
It’s 3:35 am when I when I make it …home. No one is outside and there are no more fire trucks. The overnight concierge and I have passed each other in the night hundreds of times. She usually keeps to herself. Usually a few words or just a head nod as I head to the elevator. I’m usually too tired to pay her much mind--but she speaks as I pass.
“Fire is taken care of. Everything should is fine on your floor Ms. Grigori”
“Just…call me Sera”, I tell her.
I toss the shoes and dress into the trash can and take a shower. The water is hot enough to burn. I don’t want a trace of him on me. Afterwards I run a bath with foam, bubbles, rose petals and essential oils.
Sven had gifted me a small bag of Xanax last week to help me relax. I’d only accepted it because it seemed safe and Paris had a prescription once. I’d never taken one. I’d never felt the need until now. But…I don’t feel like getting out of the tub. I lean back and close my eyes. I’m dangerously close to falling asleep in the tub when the call box sounds. It’s a loud annoying chime that never goes off unexpected.
“Fuck.”
I get out the bathtub and dash to the digital speaker naked and leaving a trail of water. There is only one person who would come by at this hour.
“Yes?”
“Paris Prince is here.” The concierge says.
I take my hand off the intercom. What is he doing here? We have a schedule. He should know better than to stop by unexpectedly. I have rules for my submissives whether they were friends, paying clients or my husband. Paris is usually so good at following them. It was the most attractive thing about him.
I couldn’t let him break the rules. Besides I wasn’t going to be one of those tortured and lonely Domme with only a soft spot for a behaved sub.
Still. I can visualize him in the lobby. Probably in his fitted peacoat. His face flushed from the cold. He’s probably talking nonstop to the concierge. I can picture that easy smile. The familiar reverence in his dark eyes. Well… just this once.
+3+
“Send him up.”
I have maybe 4 and half minutes to make myself look decent. I try to clean up all the water and dry off. Usually I’d just put on boxers and a t-shirt but for some reason I didn’t want to.
I dig in my closet for a cheap matching set I brought last week a discount clothing store. It came with a very short satin robe with a matching bralette and thong. I don’t even know why I bought it. I convinced myself I’d save it for when I had someone over. The Doms I read about in books I read always seemed to have outfits laying around for their new sub to put on.
I spray on some cologne and put on as much body cream as I can. Not that I was going to let him touch me. Well maybe just a little. I think about sitting on the couch but that would seem like I was waiting for him. I didn’t wait on anyone. Instead I go in to the kitchen and try to busy myself making tea, but that is even more unnatural. Before I can think of what else to do there is a knock at the door.
“It’s open”, I say from the kitchen.
I glance up from the box of tea when he walks in. Just like I predicted he is all bundled up for in the new peacoat. He takes it off carefully and hangs it by the door. He is wearing a perfectly tailored black shirt, vest and slim tie with a simple gold tie clip. He’s dressed up which means he’s probably going to present in class today--which I know he loves. Any excuse to talk. A little bit of color cuts along his deep set bone structure. I used to be so memorized by the hollow there and the way his ugly scar ran through it.
“I crashed after class. My sleep schedule is off. I woke up an hour ago and just saw an e-mail about the building fire. I’ve been trying to call you. I called the front desk and Melinda said you’d gotten out safe.”
Of course he knew the night concierge’s name. My phone is face down on the counter. It had been there untouched since Tara and Preston. Paris adjusts the green juice smoothie and small reusable bag he is holding. There is probably a whole wheat bagel sandwich with double egg whites, bacon and avocado in there. He really shouldn’t be buying me breakfast on days we aren’t scheduled to be together. I am still hungry though. My eyes go to the half-finished 7-11 fruit on the counter.
Paris must be boring me because my mind goes back to Helios. I had taken control of Helios in the sweetest way possible. I’d made Helios work so hard for nothing. Helios had so much control over my body when we were younger. Not anymore. The defeated look on his face when he realized he’d failed to give me an orgasm would stay with me forever.
But now…
Now the desire is creeping back. My body is waking up a little and looking for that release from earlier. Paris makes his way to the balcony, inspecting the place like he knows anything about fire damage.
I want him.
But I have to be careful. I’d trained him to see sex as a privilege. If he wanted to fuck me he had to earn it. All he’d done so far is break my rules by showing up unexpectedly.
My rules were for his and my well-being. He was never scheduled to come on Friday morning because he had a class at 8am. It would take him forever to get across town. Professors took note if students were late.
I would have to punish him for this. I could make him drink that smoothie off the ground. No. I’m not that cruel. But he’d do it. He’s so devoted he’d do anything for me.
…He could drink it off me? No. I’m not that patient
I pretend to look at my red phone. I’d memorized most of the numbers. There are only a few people who could give me what I needed right now. I went into the notes app and typed up different messages that would convince someone to come over. I was better on the actual phone but people hated when I called.
I could work this out with one of my vibrators but I was itching for the touch of warm skin.
“Everything looks good”, Paris says locking the balcony door, “Next door not so much. Melinda told me the entire kitchen needs to be replaced. The parents own it and are pissed. We’re actually behind on the fire hazard insurance payments so I’m moving that bill to the top of the pile…”
He is so fucking convenient. If I gave in it would set a bad precedent.
Paris moves to kiss me but I step back. I usually let him kiss me once upon arrival and once when he leaves. I don’t trust myself not to devour him right then and there. God, he would let me. He’d let me do anything to him if he thought it pleased me. This would be so much easier if I could just leave my submissive obedient husband chained to my bed 24/7 always ready for me.
Except.
In my fantasy Paris Prince is never my husband. It’s always Helios. What an accomplishment it would be to turn Helios into an obedient worshipping husband. Fuck. Seraphina Thantos has a nice ring to it. I’d make him call me Mistress because that felt right. I’d take his name from him. I’d be a cruel brutal Domme though. Even in my fantasy I can’t imagine giving a fuck about his mental or physical state.
Paris suddenly puts his arms around my waist and presses his face just above my chest. I focus and realize he is hugging me.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Sera. I was worried when you didn’t pick up your phone.”
I kiss the top of his head and he pulls me in a little tighter. One of his hands casually relaxes on my ass as if it couldn’t be helped.
“Why are you dressed like this?” He asks stepping back, “Are you alone?”
I nod.
“Well”, he continues, “I was think if we introduce a cash incentive program for clients we can cut down on fee expenditures by…”
I take a step back and realize how aroused I am. This cheap thong rubs in all the right places. Paris turns on the kettle and starts making the tea for me. He has switched topics and I’m not sure what he is going on about. He better not start on politics. That is the last thing I want to hear. He is so small. I could pick him and carry him to my bedroom. He’d hate that. I wouldn’t.
At least it’s quiet.
It’s quiet?
I look up and realize Paris isn’t talking. Paris is always talking.
He is back in front of me, hands on either side of the counter, his body tilted slightly towards me. It’s sort of like he is caging me in. He is kind of sexy when he is quiet. He lifts a corner of his mouth and takes another step forward--completely invading my personal space. This would usually bother me but at least I know his attention is all on me. Worshiping me with those dark endless eyes. I am his entire world. I will always be his entire world.
“Mrs. Prince. Before I leave is there anything else I can do for you?”
+++
Paris is
Kind
Empathetic
Slightly tortured.
So eager to please
He is sort of handsome, especially now that his hair is damp and slightly curling. Also because his wrist are still chained to my bed.
There are moments when I think both of us…well, everyone in this lifestyle is a little crazy or damaged. But it makes so much sense to me. I’d needed his submission tonight. Maybe I read too many vampire books but I feed off submissive energy. Especially his.
Restraining him in a missionary position had been process. It was strenuous (for him) but he took to it really fucking well. It was also probably the closest he got to working any muscles. I’d sat up at an angle to make it easier. I’d caught my reflection in the mirror propped on my makeshift vanity. Our entwined bodies were partially covered by a thigh black velvet blanket. I watched the back of his head as he lips moved from my chest to the crook of my neck.
I watched myself exhale slowly as he carefully rolled narrow hips onto mine. His quiet cursing and very soft moans was kind of hot but did nothing for me. I wanted the dizzying effect I’d had with Helios. I reached over to my phone and turned on the audio recording.
“Sera”, he said (always afraid I was going to tape us). I pretended I was turning it on silent. But I really kept the audio recorder going.
I tightened the small cock ring I made him wear. I’d decided her could fuck me but that didn’t mean he could come.
I considered if sending the audio to Helios would be a good idea. For a brief moment I imagined Helios was on top of me. I really missed being filled by his length. My cunt tightened at thought.
“Fuck, Seraphina. Fuck.”
Helios—Paris kissed my neck. The more I imagined Helios the closer and closer (louder and louder) I got. Still, it wasn’t doing it for me. I should have gotten a toy to help but I didn’t feel like getting up.
I needed to take what I wanted. I wrap my legs around him and flip out positon.
“Ah--fuck. Sera. Ow.” There had been a serious tone in his voice.
Switching our position had been a reckless thing to do with his wrist restrained like that, but I needed to be on top. The cuffs had cut him and a thin trail of blood runs down his pale arms. I somehow managed to shift into responsible Dom mode. I reached for the keys and the first aid kit in my nightstand.
“It’s...okay”, he breathed through the obvious pain he was in, “…okay. Just scratch. I’m good. I just didn’t expect it.”
My eyes closed the minute he said he was fine. I was imagining a pair of bright blue eyes looking up at me. I could see Helios’ mouth slightly open watching and wanting me. I should have beaten Helios with my cane just so I could know what it sounded like. To hear him beg. To hear him cry out in pain then ask for more. I don’t even remember reaching for my clit but I couldn’t stop circling it. I reached that familiar immensely pleasurable edge and go over. The intense spasms are sudden, although it felt like my cunt was locking down around nothing. Everything was blurry because my eyes were watering.
Why the fuck couldn’t Helios change? Why couldn’t Helios be mine? I’d felt shaky, wet and sensitive but I was nice and let Paris fuck me instead of a warm towel. I then carefully removed and disposed of the condom while he caught his breath.
Now, I uncuff him and inspect where the cuffs cut his wrist. It is just a few scrapes. Not really blood play but the closest we’ve gotten. Paris usually doesn’t like being cut for obvious reasons.
“You haven’t said a fucking word the whole time I’ve been here.” He says sitting up
“Next time there is blood we stop.” I say putting disinfectant on the cuts and a tiny bandages. He just stares at me accusingly while I finish. At least he’s quiet. When I’m done grab a tiny water bottle form my skincare mini fridge. While he drinks I attempt to crawl into his lap and share a few platonic kisses but he pulls away.
“Talk to me”, I need to know what his mindset is. The cut was an accident. I hadn’t expected him to react like this.
“I liked when the restraints cut me”, He admits, “That uncontrolled moment of pain almost took me out. It was intense.”
“Maybe we can talk more about pain when things are less stressful”, I use a diplomatic word for ‘at a healthier weight’. I could tell by looking at his arms and chest that he was close to being underweight again. He closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep. He could take a 40 minute nap and still get to class on time.
I turn the lights down and light some candles. I grab my smoothie from the kitchen and eat half the bagel while he sleeps.
“What’s going on with you.” he asks opening his eyes. Okay so he wasn’t asleep. I’m not really sure what he means but I really didn’t like how he said it.
“Watch your tone with me.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just we used a condom and at some point you were clearly thinking about someone else. You don’t come that hard or loud for me.”
“I wasn’t loud--“
“You’ll hear it on your recording later.”
He flips my phone over to display the recording app—which was still going. I didn’t like him calling me out on my shit. Fuck. I guess he deserved to know to the half-truth.
“... I have to get a panel done.”
He jaw tightens beautifully. It’s a little sexy but also defiant. Paris is perfectly submissive all the time that any defiant streak is a welcome change of pace.
“You should have told me,” He says.
“You’re right”, I say not hesitating. I didn’t love being called out but hesitating is what someone who isn’t in control does, “but I made sure you were safe.”
“I just thought I was the only one who could have you that way.”
We had never officially agreed to that. It was just easier to use protection with everyone except Paris. Still, he should know better than to say that to me.
“Paris, I don’t like you telling me what do with my body. Since you are so concerned about what I put in my pussy I’ll just make all my partners wear condoms. Even you.”
That probably wasn’t going to be true.
His jaw tightens again. More defiance? He is suddenly so fucking attractive.
“If you have something to say, pet. Say it.”
“Sera, there aren’t many people that can make you lose control and forget to use protection.”
His mind would never go there. I had to distract him with a thought he really wouldn’t like.
“Well, you know how I am when I hook up with a male Dominant. It just got out of hand.”
He turns his angular features toward me.
“You hooked up with a Dom?”
“Isn’t that what I said—“
“And this guy didn’t satisfy you?” he says realizing why I’d had sex with him when he hadn’t done shit to deserve it.
“He…couldn’t.”
Paris laughs. It is a rare thing to hear when it is just the two of us. We could be charming and clever but that kind of carefree humor was probably left behind in the old country
“He couldn’t”, Paris manages, “Or you didn’t let him? Fuck I know how many hours you spend staring at the ceiling fan edging. I’m pretty sure no one can make you come unless you want them to.”
I smile remembering the defeated look on Helios’ face, the way his head slighted bowed at his failure. After all the effort and show. Helios never stood a fucking chance. What kind of Dominate would I be if I couldn’t control when and if my lovers got to please me?
Paris sits up and kisses my neck again. I drag my hand up his narrow chest, tracing the delicate lines of his clavicle until I can fit my hand around his throat. He brings both his hands to my wrist and keeps his eyes on mine. Waiting for me to tell him what to do.
I let him go and lay down next to him. I set my alarm and we take a very short nap together. Afterwards he showers and I iron out his wrinkled clothes. I get back into bed and try to get some sleep. On his way out he comes over to kiss me good-bye, I close my eyes but the kiss never comes. I open my eyes and see he is just staring at my mouth. I touch my lip and realize Helios’ bite mark is still there.
Paris’ dark eyes focused on that spot. There was a maelstrom of emotion behind them. Fury. Jealousy. Possession. He didn’t like when someone left a mark on his Domme. On his Wife. Paris was never going to be my only lover and he knew that. Everyone loved an Alpha Dom but they were no were near as possessive as a submissive man.
“I wish I could give you everything.” He says.
Paris is so many things to me. My business manager my assistant, my housekeeper, accountant, my submissive and in a few months he’d officially be my lawyer. He was more than just a partner or husband but he would never give me everything I needed.
“Don’t be silly, Paris. I want you to come back by tonight. You can take me to dinner and then we can go on a gym date.”
I would love to torture him on the treadmill but we’d never make it to the gym. I really just wanted more sex. I’d settle for vanilla. I just wanted his familiar touch and kisses. I liked lying in bed with him and I wanted to do it some more. It had been a while since I’d done that with anyone.
He frowns and opens the calendar app on his phone.
“What do you mean, Sera ? You have a dinner date with that financier tonight. I heard some girls say he tips the more skin is showing so I think he might like that red dress. Also that new musician client requested an afternoon session in Jersey City. He’s sending a car. He’s a hardcore masochist with a big bank account. There is one more event at the end of the month. I just need you to make sure they sign the contract agreement. They might also want a tour. I’d do it but I have class. Shit. I’ve got to go if I want to catch the express train.”
“I’m…”
I start to say ‘tired’ but I can’t say it. I can’t be tired. I had commitments and bills. We would be behind because I’d spent most of the money I’d made with….what’s his name tonight. Wait. Last night.
“Cold”, I finish.
Paris gets on the bed and puts his arms around me again.
“Is this better. You want me to stay and keep you warm.”
Yes. Yes. Yes. Fuck yes.
He is being playful. Trying to melt the domineering ice queen. It only works sometimes. He kisses my hand and I sink back onto the bed.
“I’ll see you on Sunday,” He says turning on my space heater and getting my heated blanket from the closet, “Get some sleep. You look like you’ve had a long night.”
I listen as he makes his way out. Sleep doesn’t immediately come. I get up, lower the lights and flip on the ceiling fan.
The End