Solstice LeCroix
Now he was handsome. Even with a bagel in one hand and hot cup of coffee in the other. He sat carelessly in that way men did. I'd ditched Venice this morning, she was good to help me blend in and seem like just another guest... but this interview required a more direct approach. I grabbed a bagel and hot tea from the bodega and joined him on the bench.
"I haven't had a New York bagel in years ", I said.
He looked at me while he finished chewing and took a big gulp of black coffee. A tiny drop landing on his gray sweatshirt. Something about him said former Marine. His eyes were like dark void pools and he had very long lashes.
"Callum, right?”
"Who wants to know?”
"I do", I said flashing the DOJ badge on my purse.
"Yeah, I got one of those too."
He unzipped his hoodie to show me the metal crest hanging around his neck. The New Aeterna guardsmen were a lot like the U.S secret service except they often wore uniforms and carried badges apparently.
"Mine's bigger", I said. He didn't react.
"Okay."
"Look, Callum from what I understand you're the head of the royal guardsmen and you were a part of the Prince's resistance . . . right?”
"So?”
"So you spend all your time with Paris Prince. Were you with him during the assassination?”
"That what this is about?”
"Yes. Why? What else would it be about, Callum?”
He swallowed. A nervous tick. What else was this about?
"I'm not out in the field or anything. I just train the guardsmen. Sometimes I'll go with Paris if it's like a really personal thing. He and I are like brothers."
". . . and Mrs. Prince has a guardsmen too?”
"Yeah, but ...."
"But what? Callum. Everything helps."
"She and Leon are pretty tight. He's got her back most of the time."
I did a mental run through my head. I didn't know of any Leon.
"Leon who?”
"I’m not giving out names. Look. . . I wasn't with Paris when the assassination happened. I didn't want to go to some long speech that was going to be on TV anyway. I called out. I was lazy. It was his first big national speech as king and I bailed on him and look what happened."
Leonidas.
"Wait. You mean Captain Leonidas Argos? Paris gave me his information at the dinner, he’s been dodging my calls. What's that guys deal?”
"No deal, he's not an office guy or much of a talker."
"Can you give me his cell number? I can text him."
"You're an investigator . . . find it yourself."
"Can you give me anything else? If you care about Paris Prince as much as you say, surely you want to help me figure out who tried to kill him."
"You seem keen on more than just the assassination. Just let it go and enjoy your stay."
Before I could ask another question he stood up and walked away.
+1+
The furniture in the house was pushed
back and Seraphina stood in the middle of the floor in tiny clear heels, faded
athletic pants and a t-shirt with a rainbow heart on it. Paris was
dressed for work, in a slim fitting all black suit with a longer the average
jacket and an undone tie. They stood opposite one another not making eye
contact. Sera reluctantly stepped forward and placed both her arms around his
shoulders and he slipped a hand around her waist.
She said something and he bought his hand up her back and they started to slowly dance, moving in small circles. Paris’ hand kept slipping and their stance was awkward because she was so tall. After a few frustrating moments Paris turned off the music and sat on the couch taking the lifts out of his shoes. I took that moment to come into the house.
I had a to-go jug of coffee under my arm and a box of doughnuts. My usual post-murder snack. It had been two days since we killed Fountain and the media wasn’t fully convinced Fountain had done the assassination, he was just a person of interest. The manhunt was being played down in the press so the tourist wouldn't get spooked.
Standing there in the flood of natural light without makeup I could really see Sera, it was sad how the war-weariness plagued her once flawless features. She was never going to be the person she was before Cuba and maybe Fountain deserved to die for that alone. While Paris took off his shoes, she was still dancing by herself to the tempo of the music. Her eyes found mine and she held my gaze as she circled the room with an invisible partner.
“Do you want to take my place?” Paris asked.
I snapped my attention to him like a cadet in training.
“What?”
“I’ve got a conference call”, Paris clarifies walking barefoot to the back of the room, "I’ll be back in a second and she really needs to practice. One two three four.” He counts off before disappearing into his back office.
"Your door was unlocked." I said setting down the coffee.
Seraphina turns the music up and puts her usual skyscraper heels back on. If I had to guess I'd say they were prettier than the flat ones. They looked silly paired with her gym clothes. I'd been avoiding the subject of the Liberation Day Ball at the end of the month. I knew I had to go but I wasn't look forward to going alone. Aria would never go and all the classy escorts would be way out of my price range.
“Are you really going to dance to this music in front of people?" I ask.
“I don’t know . . . it's kind of nice.”
She starts to put her arms around my neck but our height difference is nowhere near as big as hers a Paris. Instead she puts a hand on my shoulder, I place one hand high on her back and our free hands join, her hands are still warm from touching Paris' warm skin. I let her lead because well . . . she’s the queen.
“He’s pissed. . . ”, She says as we start to move. I'd done this before. I was sure of it. Probably so long ago I couldn't remember.
“You two can act like children sometimes,” My feet trip up a little, then I slow down and try to match the beat of the music.
“He thinks I had something to do with Fountain's disappearance, He’s so busy cleaning up Helios' mess that he can’t see what else is coming for him. He’s so ungrateful. If only he knew what LeCroix could unearth or that the Unification Party tried to have him killed. I protect him and he just bitches at me.”
"Because he doesn't know." I let her hand go and she has to remember to spin. She's surprisingly graceful.
"He doesn't need to know," She decides.
I clear my thoughts and try to angle
the conversation while keeping my feet moving. Right. Left. Right. Left. Turn.
“Look . . . I’m worried the Unification party might make another move. Maybe during the ball or one of Paris' events. I mean if there was ever a time for them to come for us."
“I know. We need more eyes. We need to keep a watch on LeCroix, keep an eye out for Unifiers in New Aeterna and someone to watch Paris' back. We need people we can trust.”
“What’s your plan, Lieutenant?”
We stop dancing in the middle of the floor.
“I don’t have one yet, but my first step is to call on our old friends.”
I smile catching on.
“Does that mean—“I start.
“Don't make any plans tonight, Captain Argos. I’m getting the Prince’s Resistance back together.”
+2+
I should stop but I couldn’t. I pushed all my weight against her. She smelled like baby powder and she was as soft a pillow under my hands. There was no point in a condom so I didn’t feel a second of guilt finishing insider her. Ten minutes later I jumped out of Arira's bed and grabbed a shower. Among the baby shampoo was a travel sized bottle of my scent of Dr. Bronners’. It was new, Aria must have bought it for me.
I emptied the bottle and considered throwing it away. Then on second thought I refilled it with water and left it there. I changed into a black button-up shirt and slacks I'd bought with me.
I went to help Aria fold the couch back. I almost dropped one of the ends on her foot cause I was staring at her unrestrained cleavage popping out from the deep U-neck dress she wore. I reached into my pocket for a few bills and Aria turned sharply to me.
“You don't have to pay me for it, Leon.”
“I know. It’s for the girls. Help you save up for a new place is all.”
“Where?”
I shifted, if anything I’d liked Aria because she understood me. She got whatever the hell it was I need...She didn’t want to be chatty.
“Uptown? It's real cheap up there on account of all the hooligans. I'll make sure no one messes with you.”
"There is nothing you can do Leon. No one wants to be neighbors with Helios Thanto's wife. No one wants to be seen with me. People scream at me in the streets. Spit at me. My own sisters think me a traitor, I can tell. I can't even get a job because I'm afraid every time I leave the house."
“Then get in the sex business, then you don’t have to leave the house. You’re pretty and trust me military guys like a real girl."
“Leon.”
“Ain’t got nothing be ashamed of", I said “Even pregnant isn’t a turn off."
I was getting hard again. Damn it. What the hell?
“You have a problem, Leon.”
I don't know how to respond to that so I say nothing. Aria sits on the couch watching me struggle to button up the top of my shirt.
“Would you still come by to see the girls?
If I didn’t need your money?”
“Sure.” I said honestly. Don’t know why she asked. They were my girls. I wanted to be a family, I just had to figure
out how to be a part of that without bringing the shitstorm that was New
Aeterna's secrets.
“I think this is the most words you’ve ever said to me in two years, Leon.”
“That so?”
“Well most of what you say to me is grunting. We’ve never even kissed.”
“I didn’t think this was like that.”’
“It’s not. But Seraphina's commission is for two years, so barring another world war you’re going to be here more. I can’t just be your pregnant fantasy sex toy, Leon. Accidents or not we have three girls together.”
“Look, sweetheart I really never meant to get you…"
“I know, Leon. Believe me. But you did. I love them so much and I know you do to, but you have to own up to it. We need more from you.”
“I know. I know. But look I gotta go." I pointed pathetically at my watch, "I’m taking Sera out tonight and it's kind of important."
"You look sharp", she says.
I walked up to her and looked at her lips. They were small and looked bow shaped. . . I guess. I put my mouth on hers and placed a hand under her chin tilting her head up. It was the way Helios kissed women who were pissed at him. Aria seemed unmoved. I felt . . . nothing. Maybe I wasn't doing it right? It had been a while. I kind of felt like I was mashing her lips? Maybe I needed to bend my knees Aria was 5'9 so she wasn't that much shorter than me. I tried to move my mouth so it was more centered on hers but my mouth hit her chin. That's when she laughed.
“Uh . . . how was that?” I asked.
“Was that supposed to be a kiss?” She asked.
"I think so."
She laughed at me again, but quickly
tried to stifle it. She pressed her hand over my chest and released the two buttons
that wouldn't stay fasten. Then she bought her hands down into my pants.
"Sometimes Leon... I don't think I'm the only one being used.” she said. I finally got why Aria kept letting a big, dumb military meathead like me in her bed. She wasn't ever going to get another offer and maybe she didn't want one.
“Ain’t nothing wrong with that, sweetheart”, I said, "I really gotta go. I'm late. I'll be by tomorrow"
"I'll be here."
+3+
I jogged over the Prince’s house to pick up Seraphina. The guardsmen who was supposed to be out front was AWOL and I swear to God I had it with that kid.
When I reach the front door I realized it was . . . vibrating. I pressed the buzzer and no one came to the door. I peered through the glass walls looking for something out of place. The place was spotless . . . too spotless.
I placed my palm against the cool glass door and tentatively pushed it. The door gave it had been left unlocked.
“Shit.”
I reached into my hip holster for my gun and pushed the glass door open. My ears started pounding from the loud music playing from the ceiling speakers. The hard bass causing the door and the glass walls to ever so slightly vibrate.
The living room was strangely empty, I checked behind the couch and the hall closet for something out of place. The kitchen was in pristine shape. I cocked the gun as I entered the bedroom. The room was a mess; dresses, high heels and clothes were all over the floor. I couldn’t tell if anything was out of place because Sera generally wasn’t one for neatness.
Then a small glass perfume bottled rolled out of the bathroom and tapped against my shoes. I cocked the gun and turned in to the bathroom.
“Fuck”, I said lowering my gun.
Seraphina was sitting on top of her vanity, the perfume and bottles of colorful powders and liquid that usually lined the vanity were smashed on the floor and swirled together into the white tile. Paris stood between her legs, one of which was hitched high around his thin waist, a pair of silky black panties were caught on her sharp high heel. He had one hand in her hair pulling her mouth toward his and the other was busy up her short sparkly dress. He pulled and bit at her bottom lip and being the sweetheart she was she bit him right back.
I holstered my gun and headed back into the living room. I grabbed a chair and started to unscrew one of the in-ceiling speakers. I felt around the wiring for a switch and unplugged the entire unit. The music cut off abruptly.
I screwed the speaker back in and stepped down as Paris made an appearance. He glanced up at the disfigured speaker but didn't give it much of a thought.
“Your door was unlocked I thought someone had snuck in", I said, “No one was outside and after the assassination attempt you should know that It’s dangerous. People have it in for you. It could have been anyone coming in.”
“My mistake”, he said punching in the key code to lock the front door.
“Sera will be out in a minute.” he said, "Once she remembers how to walk. . ."
His voice faded out at the sound of Seraphina's heels. He opted not to finish that sentence when Seraphina shot a very cold look his way. She’d put a pair of black opaque tights to cover her legs. The short black sparkly dress was perfectly adjusted and she had not one hair out of place and was perched on pointy black heels.
“You ready?” I asked reaching out to take her hand.
“Yes, sir.” she says with mock authority.
“Sure you don’t want to tag along?” I ask Paris. Sera squeezes her grip on my hand.
“I’m good”, He says, “Strobe lights, loud music . . . it could set off a seizure. You two have fun.”
“You got it, boss.”
+++
Seraphina practically drags me to the car in what I can only call a huff. I open the door for her while her guardsmen gets into the driver's seat.
“What the hell, Leon. This is a secret meeting.”
“What? I knew he was going to say no. Also what the fuck was that all about? Thought he hadn't laid so much as a finger on you and it look like he had two."
She brushes her hair back, clearly I'd caught her off guard. She just shrugs her shoulders.
“Courts going well . . . he’s in a good moodl I guess? Can we drop it?”
“You okay”, I ask not sure why. She was fine. She’d always be fine. I slam the car door and we start rolling.
“You?”
“Not a day in my life.”
She shakes her head.
“Me neither.”
+4+
When we get to the 6th Circle some heads start to spin. New Aeternans had a habit of seeing their leaders as more than tabloid fodder. There was respect. Only tourist or foreign media would try to take candid shots. When they did, usually the citizens would turn on them.
God Bless . . . New Aeterna?
I kept my arm around Seraphina while the guardsmen was on her other side. She spared the people just a glance and they gave a cool nod of understanding. We hustled inside and up the steps to the private bar on the 6th floor. The bottom floor of the night club was thick with young people dancing in a huge cluster. Most of them had to be tourist, New Aeterna kids just didn’t party like that.
A pair of cadets was stationed outside of the private bar. They stepped aside to let us in and the tone shifted as the automatic doors swooshed shut and we were engulfed in silence. The private room was spacious with a gold flecked floor, a full sized bar with a few bottles and black velvet plush lounge seats.
Isobel was sitting on the bar with a bottle of fancy water. Callum was leaning against the bar next to her with a glass to his lips. I nodded to where Ares was lounging on one of the couches. Damien leaned against the far back of the wall in the shadows. Lucien was with him, their hushed conversation halting.
Then I noticed Paul behind us, he was in his guardsmen uniform. Kid knew how to blend in and be professional. I gave him a nod of approval. He had a good gig going for him in the New Aeterna ambassador's office.
“Where’s Paris?” Callum asked pouring himself another drink and glaring at Seraphina.
“We aren’t involving him,” Seraphina unhooks her arm from me and strides to stand in the center of the room, her arms crossed, and expression blank. I feel like I’m seeing the old Sera again for the first time.
“But Sera this is the Prince's resistance. We kind of need the Prince part—“, Isobel says.
“Isobel he’s the king of this fucking country. He can’t be involved. He’s done too much for this place already”
“I thought we were all going legit”, Isobel said, “I mean we can’t rely on you to keep us out of prison.”
“Yes. You can.”
“Not”, Isobel hopped off the bar, “If you’re in jail too and being crucified by public opinion.”
Seraphina ignored that comment
"I asked you all here", she began, "Because for ten years we dedicated our lives to bringing down Helios. And while I know raising New Aeterna from the ashes wasn't part of the plan, we've accepted it. We've all done some shitty things to make New Aeterna our home and we may have to do more. There is this woman in town who says she is here to look into Paris' assassination, but I think there is more to it."
I nodded and Isobel picked up after that. Isobel relayed her invitation to D.C and the DOJ woman who’d questioned her – LeCorix—was in town for court and asked about corruption. Out of nowhere Callum raised his hand and gave us the highlights of an interview he'd had with her this morning.
"Didn't think anything of it", Callum said in conclusion. " I thought she was maybe a journalist pretending to be DOJ. Sure I don't like her snooping around but she's mostly looking in to the assassination. If we give her open access to the assassination maybe she won't find out about the bribery and forgery. Hell, maybe she'll figure out who actually did it. Cause there was no way it was Fountain."
That meant it was our turn to talk
Sera picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels before sitting down and telling the truth about Paris' assassination. I filled in some of the details she’d forgotten. She kept herself cool and factual. She talked about being approached by Giuliani and the Unification Party in Al Khasik, she talked about how he blackmailed us with our past deeds, and a bit of emotion hit her when she talked about pulling the trigger and finding out that Paris was still alive. I filled in about killing Giuliani and turning Vassey into a fake hero. I didn't let it slip about killing Fountain. I'm sure everyone would come to that conclusion on their own.
“Shit”, Callum said getting up from his spot in the back, “Goddammit Sera you lied to my face. You lied to my fucking face when we were on that plane together. You shot your husband? You really shot him to save your own reputation."
"It was all of our reputations," she corrected.
"No", he spat, "It was SGI's. It was yours and his." He turned his dark gaze to me.
“. . . He almost died”, Damien spoke up. He casually walked over and leaned over her. Looking her right in the eye. She looked right back.
“That was the point”, Seraphina said taking another shot, “Stubborn son of a bitch-"
Damien slapped her so hard she dropped the drink she was holding, it happened so goddamn fast, I reached for my gun on instinct but Seraphina held up a hand to hear Damien out. She casually used the same hand to wipe the blood off her mouth.
“My hands were covered in his blood, Seraphina. I’m still not convinced I’ve gotten it all off. He was in so much pain and there was nothing I could do about it. I should make you listen to his endless screams of pain. You have no idea. No fucking idea.”
I gave her my glass and she poured another drink.
“It’s over. I may have pulled the trigger but the Unification Party did everything to put me there. They aren’t just a political party who wants stars and stripes. They think they know what’s best for New Aeterna. They don’t. No one else knows they were behind the assassination and it's reasonable that they will strike again. So, we need to keep our eyes open to anyone who might be sympathetic to their cause. We need to know what they are up to."
“They are us”, Isobel said. Sounding just like Paris with that thoughtful lilt to her voice.
We all turned to face her.
“I mean”, Isobel laughed, “We were the resistance. We saw what we believed was injustice and we did anything necessary to end it. How are they not who we used to be. This country is corrupt and we all know it. Maybe we need some opposition. Some oversight. “
“Whose side are you on?” Sera asked
“Paris'. . . of course”, Isobel said.
“Really then why did you quit? How do we know you aren’t on their side?”
“It’s me Sera. Don’t forget I started this resistance while you were being water boarded in Cuba. I would never turn my back on Paris or you.”
“You did. You quit. I mean . . . you wrote a letter”, Sera shot back. Ignoring the rare off-color quip from Isobel, “You didn’t even write a letter you sent a template. We’re supposed to be sisters-in-arms and you just quit instead of talking to me.”
“I was afraid", she said looking at Sera and then at me, "If you and Leon would do that to Paris . . . what you do to me? How could I have trusted you? How could I work with Paris every day and not tell him?”
“I would have never hurt you Isobel", she kept her eyes on her drink, "You should have told me you saw us."
“And said what, Sera? Guess what? After all that work we did. After spending 10 years trying to overthrow Helios and bring peace . . . we aren’t really the good guys. Not even close.”
+5+
Everything got quiet after that, everyone started to break off with promises to keep eyes and ears open. We were in this together now. They also reluctantly agreed to keep our secret. I sipped a bold whiskey from behind the bar while keeping an eye on everyone. I watched Callum slip out first. He was half drunk and half ready to rage. Ares sat next to me for a few minutes in silence before disappearing. Damien got a call from the hospital and Lucien offered to drive him. Sera and Isobel had settled into the back of the room . . . whispering about something.
When Izzy started to make her exit I escorted her downstairs and got her into a cab, leaving Sera to finish one last drink alone. I jogged back up the private room and found her looking over the railing at the pulsing young crowd on the first floor. Her guardsmen stood uneasily behind her.
“Ready to go?” I asked.
“No.”
She took my hand and pulled me down the six flights of stairs and into the crowd of dancers. Even though she was tall she managed to move quickly through the crowd and toward the center of the throng where the strobe lights flashed and the smoke was thick.
Once we got to the middle of the floor she slid her arms around my neck, pressing her lean body flush against mine. She began slowly moving her hips to hypnotic beat of the music, she was so close I could feel the tone and definition of her body underneath the thin dress. I hated dancing for the same reason I hated swimming, I felt like a giant buoy just floating there.
For the next song she bought my hands to her hips and tried to get me to move with her. I kept an eye out for the dancers around us, making sure they didn't get to close. I was careful to keep my body in front of hers, not that she made that easy. She turned around, grinding into me with one arm still around my neck, when the beat dropped she turned again leaving no space between us. The flashing black lights highlighted the sparkles in her metallic purple eye makeup. Her skin was dewy from all the humidity and she looked so young and just a tiny bit carefree. I got into a little bit. I started to feel the words and managed to move my shoulders in time. Sera leaned in close to my ear and whispered.
“Let's get high.”
+5+
The car dropped us off in front of her house. Where once again the motherfucking door is unlocked. I do a quick once over the property before following her in. The TV had been left on and once again the speakers were on and the music was so loud the glass was vibrating.
Sera’s heels clicked like icicles on the hard tile floor. She clicked her way into the kitchen and pulled out a pack of Green Marlboros. She fills a glass with ice and dispensed some cold seltzer water from the fridge.
“You good?” I yelled over the music.
“Always.” She mouthed putting some pre-cut cucumbers in her water and going through the kitchen drawers.
“Imma take a leak and get out of your hair.” I shouted
She opened another drawer then slammed it shut.
“Tell me if you find a lighter”, she calls.
I stumble through her bedroom in the dark and turned on the light in the bathroom. The place had been cleaned up, but it still smelled like a mix of cologne and perfume. On my way out I notice Paris isn’t in his bed. I didn’t remember him having any more meetings tonight. I find his phone on his nightstand and flip through the calendar to confirm this. I crane my neck to see if he’s in his office. The lights are out and the door is closed.
“Fuck”, I whisper
I grab my gun for the second time that night and push open the office doors. I run smack into Paris.
Hanging by his necktie from the ceiling fan.
“Fuck”, the word comes out like a reflex. So does everything else. I turn on a light and jump on the desk, one side of it buckles and snaps under my weight sending picture frames, fancy paperweights and a letter toppling to the floor. I balance and grab the knife in my boot and shred through the silk tie knot. His slender body slams hard onto the broken desk before rolling off and hitting the hardwood floor.
I don’t even think I just react. I drag him into the hall and make a dash for the medical cabinet under the bathroom sink. His neck didn’t look like it had been snapped. He was probably just oxygen deprived, his body felt warm--wait--Demon bodies always felt warm. Did that count when they died? Shit.
I fumbled my way through the medical cabinet, throwing out RX bottles, needles and questionable sex toys until I find an oxygen mask. He was breathing but his brain needed oxygen. That sounded right. After a minute he takes a deep breath and sits up like a dead man come to life. I jam the mask onto his mouth forcing more air in.
“Breathe, boss,” I push him back down on the floor.
He tries to sit up again and I push him back down. I feel the shards of the glass against my neck before I hear them. I twist my neck and see the drinking glass Seraphina had been holding was now broken on the floor, it rolled towards me in a puddle of bubbly water. Sera’s steely eyes went to the cut necktie, to me and then to her husband. Paris let out a huge breath and rips the mask off. He is trying to talk but just made a low raspy choking sound.
“Calm down, you’re fine", I say. He lurches forward. Half crawling half slipping though the spilled seltzer . He wraps himself around her legs and cries into her knees
“I’m sorry”, He chokes d out, “I’m so sorry. I can’t handle this anymore I can’t do this anymore Seraphina. I can’t do this . . . I can’t. This was a mistake. New Aeterna. . .this country was a mistake. I thought the terrible things I did to get this country were for the great good . . . but they are not. It doesn't stop, Sera. It doesn't stop. You think it will balance out, that the bad is only temporary. That once things are better you can cut out all the bad. But you can't. It grows. . . Infects. There is no good in New Aeterna because Helios ensured this land was rotten to its core.
New Aeterna owes millions to the
unstable countries and syndicates Helios cheated and stole from. I've done
favors to hold them off but they just want more. I can't give it to them
because I’ve got so many senators and congressmen on payroll. The thing is the
more people you pay off, the more illegal shit you have to let come into the
ports to make a quick dollar.
And then . . . and then every day I step outside this door I can’t stop shaking. . . I just know I’ll catch a bullet again. Death I can handle . . . but that pain. God that pain was blinding. . . . Maybe I deserved it. . . I tried. I tried so hard to do well. To fulfill my destiny. I failed Hmjeu. I failed my legacy. New Aeterna deserved better, you deserve better Sera. I failed my country but I also failed you. I failed you since the very start. I just want to sleep Sera. Really sleep. I just want see my Brothers again. I miss my Brothers . . . my family. I'm so tired I’m just like my Father; evil, conniving, thoughtless, selfish. We both even lusted for Angels. Maybe that's my destiny. I’m so tired, Sera. I’m so tired."
“Paris”, I say, “I remember your father. You're not like him—“
“I bribed half of U.S congress to get New Aeterna. I told the world New Aeterna’s biggest export was art and culture. Fuck that. There is so much coke being smuggled into the U.S through our ports. . .I can’t even keep count, or how about the peaceful Anti-Nationalist I imprisoned on fake charges so they couldn't vote against Prop1776 ?
My brain is so fucking screwed up and my face looks like a fucking Halloween mask. Sera , I know you hate me, I promised you The Tempest and I failed you, I’m the reason you’re stuck in that bureaucratic job and you have to dress up and live in this house and be my wife when you deserve so much more. You deserve to be happy, not trapped with me."
He kept talking but I couldn’t understand him anymore, actual tears streamed out his eyes and he was crying the way I’d only seen men do when they realized they weren’t going to be making it back home from the frontlines.
Seraphina twisted her legs out of his grasp, she picked him up and she carried him into the bedroom and placed him on the bed. I put the oxygen mask on his face just to shut up his rambling. Paris eyes followed Seraphina as she paced in front of the bed and he took the mask off.
“Sera, love I—“he began.
Before he could finish she grabbed an oversized glittery pillow and pressed it over his face, she put her entire weight into it, putting her knee on his chest. On instinct, he started kicking his leg and arms. The lamp from the dresser crashes into the glass wall making the alarm go off.
"This is what you want isn't i t? "
I should move. I should do something . . . shouldn't I? His movements started to slow down. If this situation was reversed I would have killed someone by now.
“Fuck”, I wrap my arms around her waist and leveraged my weight to pull her off.
“How dare you ", she says throwing the pillow at him "How dare you take the easy way out, you motherfucking coward. For eight goddamn years my life has been The Prince's Resistance, it's been all about Paris Prince. King Paris Prince. What you want . . . what you need. I've been watching your back for eight fucking years and this is how you repay me? I spent five fucking years in hell because of you. Because I fell in love with you, because I trusted you. This is what you do you motherfucking little bitch I should --“
“You don’t understand”, he said trying
to catch his breath. His eyes were blood red, his pale skin was blotchy and
he's started crying again. Seraphina just stares at him now. She's doesn't seem angry she seems tired.
The guardsmen from out front burst in the room with his gun drawn at her, Sera backs further away from Paris with her hands up. The guardsmen looks to me for direction . Kid was fucking useless. So I delegated
“You’re going to my apartment, Sera. Now. Go.”
“I. . . I have to get to work tomorrow, Leon.” Sera reminds me.
“I’ll get your shit. It’s fine. Go. Now.”
She doesn’t talk back, she just slowly backs away and out the door.
“Call the car and take her to my place”, I order the guardsmen.
Paris takes a few more hits of oxygen. He is still visibly trembling
“You . . . okay?”
"What the fuck do you think?”
+6+
I send a quick text for back up while Paris tries to reign in whatever dignity he has left. He’d abandoned the oxygen mask and was focused on a Rubik’s cube that had been on his nightstand.
“God, Leon. We should have given the country back. I should have found the Tempest. What if the Tempest isn’t even real? I was going mad when Helios tortured me. Maybe I made it up?”
“I’m not here to make you feel better, but this country has been changed by Helios. It ain’t made to fly under stars and stripes anymore. This country needs to be tough. You're all slick and polished but you ain’t tough enough to make this country great.”
“Seraphina is. The past fifteen years have been tough on her. You’d never guess it by that steely confidence she has. She is an ice cold bitch. That is what this country needs . . . not me.”
He had no fucking idea. I realized I was about to step all over my friendship .
"Sera... It was . . . she was the one who assassinated you."
He kept his eyes on the unsolved Rubik’s cube, his long slender fingers slowly turning it; his lips were dry , his neck was bright red and his untouched skin was an unearthly white. His clothes fit him so well it was like he was sewed into them.
"I know", he said his hands still working and the colors carefully lining up
"What ?"
"I mean, I knew it had to be an inside job. We only told a few people about the white gold bullets. Though I figured if it was Seraphina she never would have missed."
"I think the tears screwed up her vision."
"That's sweet", he says.
He put the last side of the cube perfectly in place and after inspecting it, he sets it back down on the nightstand. He was clearly still in some sort of shock, I hadn't even told him about Giuliani but he seemed to truly believe his wife would kill him sans quid quo pro.
The doorbell chimes and I jog to the front door. I let Isobel and Damien in, I’m glad they both got my text. Isobel looked like she was still half asleep, Damien is still hungover from earlier that night. I lead them into the bedroom and they both just stare at Paris.
“I think he’s okay, Doc”, I say to Damien, “Physically, anyway. Just thought you should check him out.”
“Well, we are a pretty resistant group of creatures. He should have used white gold rope. Or a gun . . . much quicker”
“I wanted to suffer,” Paris says evenly.
I put a hand on Isobel’s back to keep her steady. This is not the Paris Prince she knows but he’s the one who needs her.
“Always one for the dramatics, eh Paris”, Damien says. He unbuttons Paris’ shirt and has him lay down. I catch a pair of unmistakable dark bruises on his shoulder blades. I’d never noticed how thin he was.
“And where is Mrs. Crazy”, Damien asks. He doesn’t notice the bruises. Fucking idiot.
“I’ll worry about her. You worry about him.”
“I’ll make us some tea.” Isobel says to Paris. She pats my hand I know I'm not needed here anymore.
I grab a duffel out of a closet and move fast knowing Paris was watching me pack Sera's stuff. I wasn’t sure what to pack, so I just grab some clothes off a hanger and toss what's left on her vanity into a clear plastic looking tote bag. I grab a pair of her work heels and sneakers. At sthe last minute I pulled two uniforms from the closet and hope that is enough. On my way out I grab the Green Marlboro off the counter.
+7+
I don’t look back as I head out the house. I’m feeling contemplative so I take the local train out of Brooklyn to my Midtown apartment. The train is empty and I just stare into the vast emptiness around me. I'm trying to get the images of the last hour out of my head.
I make it to my building and struggle to get the bags up the stairs. I almost run right into the punching bag by my front door. I need to move that thing.
Seraphina had folded out my couch/bed and is laying on her back staring at the fake stucco ceiling with her arms behind her head. She looked like a gorgeous party girl after a hard night out. I dropped her luggage on the floor and dropped myself down on the mattress next to her. I reach into my pocket and pull out the Green Marlboros
“He’s humpty freaking dumpty”, I said opening the box of cigarettes.
“You think our king has cracked”, She asks taking a cigarette from the box.
“Paris thinks he’s not fit to rule.”
“He’s not. None of us are,” She decides.
I throw open the kitchen drawers looking for matches. They were mostly empty but the drawer under the sink had a lighter under a stack of take-out menus. I grab a paper plate with a cartoon character on it to use as an ashtray. I move to sit in front of her on the mattress and light her cigarette.
“Sera. . . I saw bruises on Paris’ back... had been hurting himself?”
“He just likes to fuck rough.”
“Those aren’t claw marks, sweetheart and I know he hasn't been able to get it up in years.”
She closes her coral colored lips around the cigarette and inhales deeply, savoring the damp bitterness before slowly exhaling a thick cloud of smoke through her nose.
"I mean . . . he likes to be fucked rough. It was an accident"
She takes another long hit before answering. She tilts her angular chin and long neck up, blowing smoke into the broken ceiling fan. She stares at the ceiling fan and I'm suddenly glad she didn't see him hanging.
“Paris Lucien Prince is the king of one of the most watched, influential, feared and revered island principalities in the world. Maybe he’s more of an influential diplomat than a king . . . but he holds so much power. It is just starting to be too much. So when he is . . . home . . . he likes to give it all up... the power. He said it was relaxing. I mean it should be perfect, the man who wants no power and a woman who wants it all.”
“You . . . Dominate him?”
“It's not the real me", she says getting up to run some hot water in the kitchen sink. She takes a handful of dish soap that had been sitting there for almost a year and scrubs it over her face, then she leans over the sink. Her face melting into a colorful puddle. She painfully rips out the hair extensions, then she sits back down on the bed and starts another cigarette, blowing smoke right into my face. The smoke lingers and I can barely see her rough, lined and discolored face through it.
“He likes to be fucked by the heartless butch bitch he married. I guess that wasn’t enough since he tried to kill himself”
"Sera, what the hell?”
"I. ... I don’t know . . . He was getting away with so much I guess he wanted to be---"
"Punished."
She closed her eyes, I could hear her slowly inhaling, drawing in a deeper and deeper breath. She opened her sapphire blue eyes then parted her lips and let out a small breath, no smoke.
"Then . . . she started taking another hit.
She tensed her high cut hollows of her cheeks. Her features were so strong and maybe a bit to masculine without all that crap on her face. Still it was her. Still . . . through the lingering smoke, if I squinted she looked a little like Helios.
"Then what?” I asked.
"Then he'd have a meeting or make coffee or something and we'd pretend like he wasn't medicating with sex, he had such a hard time coming I don't even know what the point was ? I think he just wanted to be humiliated, you know? Feel punished for all the shitty things he's doing. And you know what? I didn't care that he couldn't concentrate enough to touch me. I mean. . . . I mean . . . I should have known something was wrong when he was all over me tonight. Fuck, Leon."
I took the still burning cigarette away from her and stamped it out. She was getting too agitated, rocking a little back and forth. That was enough of that. Of all of this.
“Work tomorrow”, I reminded her, "You're probably exhausted. Get some sleep."
“Good call.” She said
Everything about her is completely unmade. Something I should be used to but I always feel like I’m seeing her for the first time in a long while. I keep my undershirt on and dig for a pair of pajama pants in the coat closet.
I glance at Sera, her eyes are shiny but she damn well won't let a tear fall. For some reason that makes an angry chill run through me and I want to hurt someone. I climb back onto the mattress and move over her, settling my body between her legs. The closeness is uncomfortable for us both but we settle into it.
"Sera, you didn't do anything wrong", I tell her, "He's sick. Paris is sick and there is nothing you or your body could have done to help him."
"I know", she says her head turned to look at my messy closet, "We decided we didn't want to have a family just after I joined NADF. That's something isn't it? We did something right."
"Sure", I said but what did I know. “You okay?”
She turns to look at me and manages a crooked smile that'd put most pretty boys to shame and I say the words just seconds before she does.
"Not a day in my life."
+++
Author's Note
Well, SHV. I think I raise you one
angsty chapter over yours. (P.S this was for Liberation 13)
So, as some of you picked up Paris has been a shadow in this serial so far, and his relationship with Sera is very distant to non-existent. This is because Paris has untreated Depression and Suicidal Ideation and it has under the surface destroyed him. Sera kind of but doesn’t really know what’s going on, which is why there are very little to no sections where Paris and Seraphina actually talk to each other. They don’t like to talk to each other.
You : Wow, Lils you are pushing the feminism with this whole fem-dom thing ?
Lils : This is really left over from the canon-sequel I'll never write. Except in that case it was more therapeutic for Sera and how she coped with being assaulted in Bellum, But in the case of QC it's for Paris' benefit because he misses the days when someone was around to tell him what to do and he didn't have to be everyone's everything.