Part II
Petal Brooke, NC
Five Months Later
June 2009
+1+
It’s 1:43 am when we pull into Petal Brooke. The streets are quiet when we pull off I-85, all the overly stylized and mega-sized big box stores are closed. The only real sounds come from the parties and nightlife down by the East Riverfront Pier.
During the day the area--originally designed to attract tourist stopping through on their way to The Biltmore or the mountains--had a small amusement park, souvenir shops, luxury shops and triple story restaurants and bars. The condo my foster mother had given me had been just a few blocks away from the pier, it had sat on top of The Cups and Saucers where Tomas I met.
---
After Martina and I departed from the Brew Stop I felt like something in the direction of my life had significantly changed. We came up with a reasonable retainer fee and in early April I started getting daily calls from her, mostly she asked questions about my time in the hospital and how I came to Petal Brooke. A North Carolina detective even drove up to interview me after which I started receiving calls from Petal Brook Regional Hospital’s legal team that Martina told me to direct to her.
With my and Monica Golden’s statements the state’s attorney officially pressed charges in the middle of April, Allen Fenton was indicted a few weeks later. Martina went to court and told me he plead not guilty and a court date was set for August 7th. It was decided I would need to be there in June for trial prep and to meet the prosecutor.
Tomas had been with me when Martina said this. I had been working evenings and we were in the middle of a very silent 3am dinner when she’d called. I’d put the phone on speaker.
“Sofia?” Martina had said from the other line, “Did you hear me.”
“Yes, did you say June?”
“I can talk to the prosecutor to see what we can do over the phone, but we really need you to be here. You’re still legally a North Carolina resident so the judge won’t grant us an extension for an out-of-state witness.”
“Its fine”, I said, “I’ll be there.”
“Okay”, Martina said, “Let me know when your schedule so we can set up time to talk.”
“Thank you. Good-bye”
Martina hesitated before hanging up.
“What am I going to do?” I’d asked Tomas, “I can’t afford to stay down there for two months.”
“I can see if anyone is renting a room in Riverside.”
“We can’t afford two rent payments? And I only have a week of vacation. Maybe I can sign up as a temp with a caregiving agency down there and Elijah can--”
“You shouldn’t have to work. I can come with you, I can pick up work. We’ll figure it out Sofia.”
And we did. Kind of. I slowly began unraveling the threads holding my life together.
- 2-
I unceremoniously left my job at the pharmacy, and with classes over I started picking up a lot of last minute overtime at the hospital. Tomas started going out more, even when he wasn’t working. He was sensing the change that was coming and taking in his last few weeks of freedom. He’d even come in drunk with a stud piercing above his lip.
When it came down to the wire, the hospital couldn’t hold my job. The administration told me if there was an opening available when I returned I would of course be welcomed back. There was plenty of turnover at the hospital, even with the recession going on I knew there would always be openings for orderlies or caretakers. Layla and I spent my last day at the hospital at the Brew Stop burning through my gift card while I give her the rundown on filling in for me with Mrs. Randolph.
It had been easy for Tomas to tell Venus he was taking off for the summer to deal with a family emergency, as good as she’d been to us I didn’t want the Venus and the artist knowing what happened to me. Tomas also told her he’d be picking up work at Riverside Tattoo, the shop where he had been trained---even though that was a bit of a white lie. Training was not the right word for what went on in that shop.
Dr. Lane was the only one who gave Tomas a hard time. She set him up with a doctor in nearby Asheville who she trusted to keep her updated. She also made him swear to find a therapy group and prescribed him a starter does of fentanyl, just to keep the pain at bay while we settled.
Things were tense around the duplex, Tomas and I were trying not to fight with each other over small things. We’d packed up our personal belonging and locked them in the overgrown shed in the tiny backyard, so we could sublet the duplex to a pair of summer interns Tomas had found on Craigslist.
Memorial Day weekend was our last week in New York. We went to a rooftop cook out at DiVo’s apartment, I drank a little and spent most of the party playing Scrabble with DiVo’s mom and Venus’ daughters. I try to keep Elijah in the shade, luckily the music drowns out his fussiness. Maddie and Eric showed up with weed and when Venus left the artist started tattooing each other and some of the female guest lounging in bikinis in the blow up pool DiVo had bought from Amazon. Brightly really wanted to pierce my ears again but I told her I couldn’t really wear earrings working in hospitals.
Elijah and I left early to go on an adventure of our own. We took the bus to New Jersey to pick up the forest green 2001 Sienna Tomas and I had purchased to get us to Petal Brooke. I’d had to take out two loans, but after doing the math it was cheaper than renting a car.
There was enough room in the back for, Tomas’s wheelchair, luggage and the cooler for Tomas’s medicine. I had to dash across a busy intersection to a strip mall to buy a car seat from Burlington—then we swung by a fire station to get it checked out by a firefighter I realized I thought was attractive.
I’d hoped to surprise Tomas when we drove up in the car but he was still out and Elijah (maybe he wasn’t used to cars) had thrown up all over his brand new car seat I’d splurged on. When Tomas came back he didn’t even seem to notice the giant green monstrosity of a van outside.
“We got the car”, I said. I’d been knee deep in cleaning the place for the renters.
“I saw. Look, I stopped by a meeting…for addicts. They always have them on holidays you know. We are leaving tomorrow and I just…”
“This is only temporary”, I tell him.
“Is it?” He said, “It feels like I’m packing up the life I built here and shoving it in that car. It feels like we could easily never come back. I can’t fucking be back there. I mean I want to be there for you…but I can’t handle going back.”
“Tomas, it will be fine. You don’t have to come.”
“You don’t know anybody there”, he said, “I should be there. I just…”
“What?”
“You don’t understand, Sofia”, he’d said. And he was right.
We left New York City early the next morning, Elijah did not like the car seat and cried for the first two hours. I’d been driving for less than a year, so we took the back roads until I felt comfortable on the interstate. It was just a 9-hour trip by car, but we’d stopped three times when Elijah got car sick. I had a small panic attack when we crossed state lines and I called Martina to talk me down.
“Do you want to stop in D.C?” Tomas asked while we sat at a rest area picnic table waiting for the low dose Valium Dr. Lane had prescribed me to start working. Tomas was holding a squirmy Elijah and trying to quiet him.
“What?” I said.
“I don’t know. One of my clients was telling me how all the museums are free. You used to go in New York? To the museums?”
I honestly hadn’t thought he’d noticed, I hadn’t been able to go since Elijah was born and I’d lost my favorite Starry Night tote bag during one of our moves.
“Tomas, if we stop we won’t get into Petal Brook until late and Elijah will be so fussy—“
“Eli and I will hang out together. I don’t like seeing you like this Sofia. I need you to be the stable one.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Well, I’m dying of AIDS, I’m in chronic pain, I can barely walk, I’m sexually frustrated and clinically depressed so you have to be the stable one.”
“Yes”, I said deftly ignoring his problems and contemplating taking another Valium.
“Yes, you are the stable one?”
“Yes, I want to go to the museum. Just two . . . maybe we can do more on the way back? Because we are coming back.”
We made it as far as Maryland before we had to stop for the night. Eating microwave noodles in the motel lobby and crawling into that disgusting hotel room bed felt like a low point. I woke up early to wash the sheets we’d slept on while Elijah and Tomas hung out by the greenish-brown pool.
I was buzzing a little when we arrived in D.C, I’d had to pay for a very expensive parking deck and parted with Elijah and Tomas in a sunny greenspace where Tomas had laid out his threadbare jacket so Elijah could practice crawling.
“Are you sure this is okay?” I asked putting some sunscreen on Elijah, “You’re an artist are you sure you don’t want to go--”
Tomas laughed a little.
“You think I’m an artist?”
“I guess so?”
“Go ahead Sofia. Take in all the beauty you can because you are going to need it.”
I got myself lost few times before finding the National Gallery of Art. It was breathtaking and a little more stoic than the MoMa. I sat down and tried to reflect in the exhibits I liked the most. I had the funny sensation that this is a place I would have love to go with Elijah’s dad.
I considered calling him, but that was one last thing I need to deal with, and when it came to Elijah and his father it always was a thing. I decided to skip going to another museum and had a nice quiet lunch alone at a cute sandwich shop and read an entire Glamour. I loved the slower pace and openness of the city and took my time with lunch.
Elijah and Tomas were right where I’d left them. Elijah was asleep in the shade and Tomas was lost in his sketch book.
“How was he?” I asked picking up Elijah and walking toward the parking deck.
“Do you really want to know?” he asked and I noticed the stain on his t-shirt and how fitfully Elijah was sleeping.
“Did he crawl?”
“A little bit”, Tomas said effortlessly pushing his wheelchair up the ramp and moving towards the car. He pulled himself into the passenger seat and lifted his folded wheel chair into the back, “Are you good?”
“Yes, I really needed that”, I said buckling Elijah in.
“Good”, he said, ‘Because it’s all going to shit from here.”
-3-
I turn on to well-worn bridge across the river that separates Petal Brooke from West Petal Brooke, or as West Petal Brook was more commonly known, Riverside. When I get off the bridge the first thing we pass is the dilapidated bus station. It’s been painted since I was last here, and a few people are just hanging around; drinking out of brown bags and smoking. Some are getting ready to make camp by the woods for the night. I don’t even want to look at what is happening in the commuter lot next to it.
Tomas directs me past shuttered gas stations, half empty strip malls, and strip clubs. We turn behind a lively shopping center, with an OTB and the Riverside Bar and Grill. Music blares from the bar and I see a fight breaking out in the parking lot it shares with Rainbow and Boost Mobile.
Honeysuckle Lane is the first right and I have to turn my bright on in the neighborhood to see down the darkened street which alternate between empty lots, tidy white aluminum houses and mobile homes.
“This one”, Tomas says pointing to a faded blue mobile home that sits crooked on a patch of grass. An old man glares at us from the porch of the gray house on the next lot over.
There is no driveway so I squeeze my car onto the lot next to an orange Jeep Wrangler. I cut the lights and grab the bag of essentials I’d assembled at the last rest area. Tomas had suggested we do as little unloading in the middle of the night as possible. I put Elijah’s car seat over one arm while Tomas grabs his wheel chair out the back.
I can hear giggling and the TV coming from inside the mobile home. The door opens and Judson Manor opens the door. He rubs his eyes and give me a lazy smile. He’s still a well-rounded guy with a full beard. He was a few years older than Tomas, Judson was his first boss and the reason he got into tattooing, but there didn’t seem to be a bit of visible ink on him. Two little girls peek out around him and squeal “baby” “baby” excitedly at Elijah.
“Hi”, I whisper.
“Come in, come in”, Judson says groggily. I set Elijah down and go help Tomas up the steps. I run back to the car to grab Elijah’s travel crib and duffle bag. When I get back inside Tomas pretends not to notice the sort of unsure look Judson gives him when he notices the wheelchair. I know he’s going to have to get used to that look.
“Dude”, Judson says gesturing to the chair
“Dude”, Tomas says back sarcastically.
The two sort of embrace and I pick up Elijah so the two little girls cooing at him don’t wake him up. They are young, maybe under four. One has blonde hair with purple streaks and the other is biracial with long curly reddish-brown hair. When Tomas said he would make arrangements for us to rent a room from Judson he didn’t mention there would be other kids.
“This is, Evianna and Tammi-Lynn.” Judson introduces me to the girls but I’m not sure which is which, “I didn’t want to wake Katie.”
“Hi”, I whisper to the girls, then turn to Judson, “It’s late. I think we’re going to turn in if that’s okay.”
“Sure thing”, Judson says and walks barefoot to the other side of the mobile home. He curses when he steps on a Lego and the girls start giggling and quickly settle themselves back in front of the huge TV, turning up the volume as the characters start to sing.
The trailer has an open floor plan, the kitchen and living room sit in the middle separating the bedrooms. Our room is on the right side at the back end of the trailer. It’s a smaller bedroom with a bathroom across from it. The small bedroom was furnished with a mattress. According to Judson after the fight he and his former roommates got into, he had to toss the original mattress. He’d bought a cheap replacement and frame from a garage sale, but at some point we were going to have to pay him back.
This gave me pause. Did he know about the settlement? The possible settlement? Tomas just slides him some cash and they mumble good-nights.
I set up Elijah’s travel crib and was thankful the tiny bit of Benadryl I’d given him had got him to sleep. I sprayed the mattress down with disinfectant, put two bottom sheets down before placing on the top sheep and the gray plaid comforter.
“All set”, I whisper because the walls are so thin I can hear the TV.
I turn around and realize Tomas is craning to see out the small window on the back wall.
“I can’t believe I’m back here”, He says.
“Me neither.”
“I forgot how much I fucking hate this place.” He says but seems to regret it.
“I know”, I don’t know why I’m apologizing, “I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t---“, he stops himself because he did mean it like that, he just didn’t mean to say it out loud.
+++
Tomas gets an earlier start than I do. When I wake up I for a moment forget where I am and Tomas and Elijah are gone. I just give it a few seconds and I can hear Elijah wailing away outside combined with the the big musical number from Beauty and The Beast. I slip into the tiny bathroom and maneuver around the shower chair to quickly. Tomas’ toiletry bag is spread open and I check the lock on the lockbox he’d bought to put his fentanyl in. I open the box to make sure he’d only taken one. After I finish counting them I lock the box and try to push down the guilt.
I dry my hair as fast as I can and I put on some eyeliner and a black short sleeved sundress and sneakers. I head outside to where Tomas is sitting on the screen in porch with the old man from next door whose glassy eyes couldn’t seem to focus on anything. Judging by the state of Tomas’ shirt, Elijah still wasn’t keeping his food down.
I went to finish unloading the van, I brought in the luggage and the huge banker box with all the court documents in it. I bought in Tomas’ tattooing equipment and eventually Judson comes out to help me bring in the mini fridge.
“Damn you New Yorkers get started early”, Judson said, and “What’s the mini fridge for ?”
“Tomas’ medicine”, I say quickly. Luckily Judson doesn’t ask for more details.
“Katie and the girls are morning people to, so ya’ll will get along.” He says kicking off his shoes.
In no time the trailer becomes a flurry of activity. Evianna and Tammi-Lynn abandon the TV and are running back and forth with each other. A petite blonde girl with a long ponytail is moving around the kitchen and settling a bouncy toddler into a high-chair. She was very very pregnant and looked like she was about to pop.
“Hey”, Katie says while tying a bib around the toddler, “I’m Katie”
She had one of those real upbeat southern North Carolina accents.
“Hi, I’m Sofia. I don’t know if—“’
“Judson told me y’all were coming.” she said, “He told me not to worry about meeting ya’ll last night. He worries about the baby and all.” She brings a hand around her belly.
“You guys have a full house”
“Yeah, I guess”, she says, “It’s kind of new for all of us, but we love it.”
“You look so familiar”, I say trying to break the ice, “Did we go to high school together?”
“Nah, I’m still over at River High.”
“Oh, I went to Petal Brooke High.”
“Really? I heard they get to do the best senior year activities. We just go on a camping trip to the mountains.”
“I didn’t finish my senior year there. I was home-schooled.”
“Really? I told Judson I wanna home school Garnett and the new baby for a few years.”
I help clean up around the kitchen while Katie stars making pancakes with fresh picked blueberries, turkey sausage and bacon. Katie calls to the girls a few times before they come running over for their plates, the blueberry pancakes she made look kind of like mouse ears.
“So that’s Evianna and Tami-Lynn”, she points to the girls and then to the baby in the high chair, “And this is Garnett.”
“I think some of us met last night”, I said.
I pour some orange juice and follow Katie when as takes some plates outside to the Tomas and Judson. The old man from next door is gone and Judson and Tomas are sitting on the rickety plastic bistro set outside comparing tattoos.
Judson was only a year older than Tomas and had become the defacto owner of River City tattoo after Virgo, previous owner, was convicted of armed robbery and assault. Before he’d been arrested he’d taken Tomas in and give him an unofficial introduction to tattooing. Most of Judson’s tattoos where on his back and chest, they weren’t show pieces more like mementoes.
“So how much does that go for up there?” Judson was asking looking at the sleeve on Tomas’ left arm.
“$200, easy. If my boss does it it’s like $650.”Tomas says pointing to some of Venus’ work.
“This you?” he asks pointing to the cherry blossom sleeve on my upper arm. I subconsciously took off the jean jacket I had tied around my waist and shrugged it on.
“I wish”, He says, “one day.”
“Thanks for offering us a place”, I tell Judson, “The room and all.”
“Hey, better than more wackos from Craigslist. Fucking Rusty and his cokehead brother almost burned the kitchen down twice.”
I sit down in the chair Tomas isn’t using and remind myself that I’m not a guest. I’m paying to live here so I can sit if I want to.
“Family looks out for family”, Judson finishes starting in on his pancakes.
“Family?”
“Tomas didn’t tell you? We’re brothers.”
“Half”, Tomas clarifies. He passes Elijah to me so he can eat and take his pills. He slips it quickly when Judson is looking away.
“Yeah”, Judson says, “We could never figure out why our moms hated each other so much. We found out in high school just before this jackass dropped out.”
“Wow”, I said
I knew Tomas’ father had played fast and loose in his 20s. He was now a state senator and somehow connected to the Vanderbilts. He’d met Tomas mom during an exchange trip to Eastern Europe. They’d been on and off at first with him going back and forth, but when she moved to North Carolina to be with him it fell apart. Mostly because he couldn’t stop finding vulnerable women to cheat with, I guess Judson’s mom included.
“You ready to head over to the shop?” Judson asked.
“Yeah. Just like old times”, he said as Judson slides his flip flops on, “I’ll be right back.”
Judson jogs back into the trailer. Elijah starts really having a fit and I wonder if it’s all the fresh air? Maybe he was just used to the city.
“There is a lot going on here”, I said to Tomas.
“Yeah, I didn’t know. I guess Katie’s mom kicked her out last month after she turned nineteen, Judson said he’s thinking about asking her to marry him so…”
“I get it.”
“It’s kind of weird. I mean I used to babysit her. Her ex-boyfriend Tony, Garnett and Tammi-Lynn’ father, killed himself a year ago. He was good friends with Judson and I think things clicked between them after his death”
“Poor thing, she seems like a great Mom. But so young to have three kids.”
“She’s probably just a little naive. Judson was telling me Evianna’s mom accidentally overdosed in the spring, her Grandma is a mess over it so Judson took full custody. Evianna thinks she’s just visiting her dad for the summer. He said they haven’t told her about her mom so…you know.
“Okay”, I said because what else could I say.
I help Tomas inside so he can change shirts and I make Elijah some tea for his sore throat. His cry was starting to sound hoarse. Katie is standing and eating in the kitchen white texting. I wonder what the food situation should be. With Eric and Maddie it was always just a straight split on take out . . . but kids made things complicated.
“They are up the street, off Juniper Circle just so you know. His mama and fiancé are fretting but they are always fretting or complaining so don’t take it personal.” Katie says adding grape jelly to her pancakes.
“I…what is this about?”
Katie moves her dishes to the sink and vaguely points up the street, “The Fentons live up that way.”
“Allen… Fenton”
“Naw, they got Allen in county until they make his bail, so it’ just his fiancée, mama and daddy in the house. My mama goes to their church, she said there were some kids there but CPS came and got them. —Mrs. Loretta is always hollering and boo-hooing, but my mama said she’s just trying to one up Trish, who fell out in church last week.”
“Wait…what… “
Katie looks up from her phone and really looks at my face.
“Oh, I’m sorry I—“
I nearly drop Elijah and step outside of the trailer, then jog up the street. How close was “Up that way?” I walked maybe one or two city blocks and turned when I saw Juniper Circle. A row of houses and mobile homes sat clustered around a Cul de sac.
It was so close. To close.