June 2017
Hoboken, New Jersey
SOFIA
I couldn’t stop looking at it.
I’d turned a little in the red booth and opened the glossy cover of the pamphlet, skimming the list of premium options and promises of free bonus features. The back of the pamphlet had a picture of an optional basement that looked like the one in The Rush Family vloggers new house.
Elijah rested his head on my lap and I ran my hand through his dark blonde curls.
“You okay, sweetie”, I said still looking at that silly pamphlet.
He nodded.
“You tired?” I asked.
He shook his head, clearly sleepy.
“Well, you wanted to stop and eat here so you need to sit up for me, okay?”
He nodded against me and groggily sat up and reached for his water. I looked over at Tomas who was texting furiously with who I could only imagine was Judson.
“Shit”, Tomas said setting the phone down and rubbing his tattooed palms against his face. I expected Eli to giggle at the curse but he seemed to have learned his lesson and was pulling his shoes up into the booth.
“Feet down”, I tell Elijah and he begrudgingly obeyed.
“Sorry”, Tomas said a few moments to late but quick enough that I didn’t have to remind him.
Charity is still watching her movie on my phone so I don’t
think she heard. Her black velvet headband is slipping out of her hair and the
memory of her sitting in the front row this morning, so confused and looking at me for answers, it just hits me hard
in the chest for some reason.
“Don’t start, Sofia”, Tomas says softly.
What the fuck did he know about how I was feeling ?
Lord, forgive me for that.
I get up quickly and maneuver around Eli, I take little
running steps out of the restaurant and find solace in the empty anonymous
parking lot of the brand new New Jersey town center that would put Petal Brooke
to shame.. I hold my head back to keep the tears from falling and try to find some calm.
I walk around the parking lot for a few minutes and consider
if we should go to Walmart after dinner while we still have the car, or would that seem heartless ?
I compose myself and make my way back to the restaurant, when I reach the table I see our food has finally arrived. Charity had discarded her burger buns after what looked like a futile effort to scrape the sesame seeds off. I wanted to reach over and straighten her head band but I resist. Elijah was picking at his chicken tenders, if he didn’t eat them today I could reheat them tomorrow for a snack. I was surprised to see my veggie burger looked as pristine as it did in the picture.
Next to my veggie burger was a tall frosted glass with a pale creamy milkshake, whip cream, chocolate shavings and foam.
“What’s this?”, I asked the kids sounding more puzzled than I was.
They looked a little mischievous but none of us was really in a playful mood.
Tomas pushed the glass toward me and I took a sip, it was sweet with a sharp burn and slight carbonation.
“What is this?” I asked seriously
“An Irish Beer Shake”, He said reading from the cocktail booklet.
“It’s strong.”, I said pushing it away.
“What does that mean?”, Elijah asked
“It means it’s going to make me very sleepy. I can’t drink this if I’m driving. We never want to drink and drive.” I said more for the kids but they aren’t listening.
“We can share”, Tomas said turning the straw toward himself, “I think we both need it.”
“You should drink water with your new medicine, especially if you are not going to eat.” ,I don’t know why I said it. It just came out and I could tell he wanted to say something back but he just went back to his phone.
Before eating I took a minute to say a quiet grace to myself. I was thankful we’d made the trip from Riverside and back in one piece. I prayed we’d get home safe and for my sweet Charity who buried her mother this morning.
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