Sofia
+1+
“Judson I’m just offering—“
“You’ve got some fucking nerve”, Judson says readjusting the tattoo gun in his hand, he turns his wrist so he can shade the angry lime tattoo he is doing on himself with more color, “How’d you even get here ?”
“I walked”, I said, “I lived in New York… I’m used to walking.”
The man in the chair next to him laughs, still coming down from whatever high he is on. Judson and Katie had been so hospitable to me after the case. When Martina dropped me off after the trial Katie had a cake and vegetarian casserole set up for me and the girls let me pick out a movie for us to watch. I’d needed the distraction but my mind was set on a new mission.
I was planning to stay in Petal Brooke for three more weeks to start working on the civil case with Martina. It was mostly paperwork but I wanted to spend some time studying up on law so I wouldn’t be blindsided like I was in the criminal case.
I’d also let the seed I’d planted about taking Charity back
to New York with me flourish. It was hard to explain but it felt like something
bigger than me was turning me towards this, I had to make sure she had a bright
full future. I just had to get Judson to hear me out, I couldn't just stop helping her.
The trailer was Judson’s domain, where he was comfortable giving order and being obeyed. So I took a risk and went to the one place I thought he’d be more relaxed. The tattoo shop.
“This isn’t really a place for you Sofia.” Judson says.
“I thought it’d be easier if we talked about this without Katie or the girls around.”
“I think you’ve caused enough trouble without trying to take other people’s kids away.”
“I’m not trying to take her away, I just want to help her and I feel like I’ve made progress with her. You’ve seen it. I’m afraid if I leave she won’t have a chance to thrive. It won’t be easy but I want to help her.”
“Then why don’t you stay. I won’t kick you out at the end of the summer.” Judson says.
“That’s nice but I have to finish school”, I remind him.
I bite my tongue. This was me being nice. The truth was she was going to die if Judson kept picking and choosing when to care or neglect her. What would happen to her when the new baby came? What if Judson and Katie broke up? Who would watch her then? Loretta Fenton?
“It’s just…with the civil case and the money I might be able to provide a —“
“No”, he says still working on his leg tattoo.
“I’ll call social services”, I sat tightly, “What do you think they’ll say when they see that shithole you have her living in. The dirty medical equipment, unsanitary bedding, the neglect …the check fraud.”
“So, you want to separate more families? “, Judson says setting down the tattoo gun. “What about Evianna, Tammi-Lynn and Garnett? They’ll be sent to foster homes out in the fucking boonies, it will take forever to get them back. I bet that’s how the girls want to spend their summer? Katie will love having her kids taken away. Unless you want to take them too.”
“I just think Charity need special attention I feel like with the settlement I can provide—“
“Just go and wait in the backroom, I’ll take you back home when I go out for lunch.” He says dismissively
“No. I’m not one of your kept women”, I say,” I don’t have to listen to you.”
I reach for my phone and he jumps out of the chair.
“Don’t you dare call, Sofia.”
I ignore him and head out the door, I hear the bell of the shop chime when I’m a few feet away and I see Judson running towards me. I keep the phone pressed to my ear and start running.
“PUT THE PHONE DOWN.” He shouts.
The phone rings and I get a phone tree. Judson catches up to me and tries to pull the phone out of my hand.
“I’m trying to protect my family.” He says digging his hand into mine.
“Stop it. Let me go.”
He claws into my hand trying to get the phone and starts pulling me back into the shop. I start kicking and trying to elbow him. His meaty arm digs into my stomach and I can’t get loose.
“Give me the phone”, he says, “You’re a fucking psycho.”
He pulls me back into the shop and my hand is so sweaty the phone slips out. He lets me go as soon as he has it. I collapse on the floor and try to catch my breath. I get up and try to reach the phone but he’s holding it over his head.
“What?’ he says, “You gonna run off and accuse me of rape now?”
“I can use another a phone—“
“Get the fuck out here and go back home before I give you something to cry about, Sofia” He spits and lunges towards me, he stops himself and for a second I’m afraid for my life. How long would it take before Katie or one of the girls got his temper going like that.
I walk back to the trailer as fast as I can, conscious of both my missing phone and the cars driving up behind me. It’s a miracle that I make it back without Judson coming after me.
Katie and the girls are inside trying to get Elijah to stop crying, Tammi-Lynn is trying to put her pacifier in his mouth
“We tried Ms. Sofia”, Evianna says.
“He’s so fussy”, Katie says sweetly, “But that’s okay.”
Katie looks up probably noticing my messed up hair and the scratch on my face.
I go into the backroom before she can say anything but I hear her waddle up behind me.
“What happened?”
“I went to talk to Judson. I told him I wanted to take Charity to New York I thought I could help her some more, I felt like we were making progress…he took my phone and chased me down—“
“You want to take her?” Katie says and I can tell even she doesn’t like the eagerness in her voice.
“I don’t know what I want anymore.” I say honestly.
“He’s just in a bad mood because of work”, she said, “I know he didn’t mean I’ll talk to him and get your phone back.”
“No”, I said, “I need to leave. I’m scared and I’m honestly scared for you.”
“It’s okay.” she says, “I know he’s sorry.”
I start packing up my and Elijah’s clothes. I quickly count the money in my purse and leave the rent Tomas owed for the chair and the price of the mattress. I wasn’t leaving anything in Judson’s debt. I decide to leave anything I couldn’t carry and clean the room from top to bottom for the next occupant. Once I was down to a rolling suitcase and a duffel bag I went out to the living room.
“You can’t really leave”, Katie was genuinely sad to see me leave and I felt the same way towards her.
“Okay, girls and Garnett”, I said putting on a happy voice, “Eli and I really appreciate you all sharing your home with us …but it’s time for us to go.”
“Are you coming back?” Tammi-Lynn asks.
“Yes”, I say because there was still that civil case, “And when you are old enough you can come visit us in New York and see the real Waverly Place.”
While the girls said their good-byes to Elijah I went to check on Charity. The DVD that was playing must have been scratched because it was repeating the same pixilated screen scene over and over again.When she saw me she expected me to pick her up and take her to the living room like I usually did when Judson left. I kept my distance though and made sure her room was in order.
I hoped she wouldn’t remember me and that she wouldn’t spend years—like I did with Nurse Golden—wondering why no one said anything to save her. I changed her oxygen tube, cleaned her up and changed her clothes.
“Are you sure you wanna go?” Katie asks peeking in the room, “I liked having you here with Charity. I never felt comfortable with all this medical stuff.”
“I think I overstayed my welcome. Look Katie when I get near a phone I’m going to call the social services, so prepare yourself for that. You know Charity can’t keep living like this and you have enough to handle with a new baby and finishing school. It’s not about you okay. Judson is the one in charge. So it’s probably best you aren’t here when I call.”
“I can take Garnett and Tami-Lynn to my Grandma’s for a sleepover”,
“Good idea”
She gives me a side hug
“Well, Good luck”, she says.
“You, too. Send me pictures of the baby…”
“I will.”
Elijah and I hug the girls good-bye one last time. I felt like I was letting Charity down but I needed the system to work against her to work for her. I may not be able to take her with me, but I was getting her the fuck out of this room.
+++
I walked to the library and looked up some weekly rates for local hotels. The Sun Garden Inn had the best rates It would take a huge portion of the money I got for the car but I could make it stretch. I printed out the directions and walked to the bus station, making sure Elijah was hydrated the entire time.
It’s dark by the time we reach the Sun Garden Inn. Even though it’s in Petal Brooke, the Inn is so close to the bridge it might as well be Riverside. The clientele is a mix of weary tourist trying to save a few dollars, homeless youth, truck drivers and high teenagers.
The room is small and I set out a blanket on the floor and make myself play with Elijah who is so lucky to have no idea what’s going on.
In the evening after taking a long shower, I go down to the hotel lobby and ask to borrow the phone in the lobby, the woman hands me a charging wireless and I go around the corner to call the police and child services. It took nearly an hour to get to a person and I take my time telling them what I’d seen in the trailer. I left out the check fraud, they could figure that out on their own.
By the time I’d finished I knew they would either pick Charity up or she’d get forgotten in the system
+++
“Look at this”, Martina says taking a stack of business cards out of her desk, “I got all these within one week. Blood in the water.”
I nod and try to focus on filling out the packet to submit my civil cast against the hospital. I try to make sure I understand every word before signing, keeping the documents I don’t understand to research at the library.
“A lot of these are law firms that have the catchy commercials, one literally just walked up to my front door. They know the hospital pays and want to help me with the case. I was thinking of hiring one, maybe an all-female team? The experience might be helpful.”
“More lawyers”, I say removing another page and putting it into my tote bag.
“What’s wrong with lawyers?” she asks. Martina had been giddy after the case. For her it felt like a victory, for me it felt like a life sentence. Knowing he’d be out one day.
“Nothing.”, I tell her, “I’ll probably need more when I get back to New York.”
“…divorce lawyer?” she infers.
“I can’t really afford it right now, but I think I should…"
“You may need to take care of that pretty quick”, she said, “If you are together when the civil case ends he might be entitled to some of the payout.”
“I don’t care about that. Really I don’t.”
“Even if uses it to buy drugs”, Martin asks shuffling the cards.
“You could tell he was a user?”
“Oh, I could tell”, she says, “To be honest he wasn’t the kind of man I pictured you with…”
“He—“
I stop realizing I’m about to make an excuse for him. Just like Katie did with Judson.
“He’s going to have to figure things out on his own now.”
+2+
Tomas
I think Sal is joking when he walks into the kitchen and says Sofia is in the dining room, he lets me take an early break so I take off the hair net, gloves and wipe the mixture of sweat, condensation and soap off my face. I couldn’t tell if I looked better or worse than I did when I saw her at court two weeks ago, but this was my second fucking chance. I stop by the drink station before heading out to the dining room.
Sofia is sitting in the back corner booth with Elijah in a booster seat. She has water and a cup of the crappy watered down corn chowder. There is a pile of papers and books spread out across the table and Elijah is getting fussy at the lack of attention he is getting.
I try to approach quietly which is hard because the steam from the back room made parts from my wheel chair rust and squeak. I now carried a can of WD-40 with me at all times. Sofia looks up briefly when she sees me, she’s tense but she doesn’t stop me from picking up Elijah, he stares at me for a good long time before reaching for my piercings.
“You look so big, kid”, I tell him, “Hey, Sofia.”
“Hi.”, she says looking back at the forms. She’s wearing the dress from court. She has a little cut on her check and turns so I can’t see it.
“Did you come to see me?” I ask.
“No. Martina had some gift cards some lawyers sent her . . . I remembered wanting to take Elijah here. I didn’t know you worked here…”
“I’ve been trying to call you, I’m moving in with Bobby this guy from Judson’s shop next week.”
“Judson has my phone”, she says focusing on the papers.
“What? Why?”
“Don’t worry about it. You were right. I can’t just show up and take someone’s child that was stupid. I did the best I could for Charity and now it’s time for me to move on. I called CPS and I will keep calling CPS until she is someplace safe or Judson gets his act together. How are you?”
“I’ve been working extra shifts in the kitchen”, I say even though I was only trusted to prep salads and drinks, “If you need a new phone I can get you one.”
“I have a prepay, with a new number” I notice she doesn’t offer me the number and I don’t pry. Eli starts crying and I strangely find the sound soothing
“His stomach is still sensitive”, she says reaching for him but I don’t want to give him back.
“I’m on break. Can we have lunch together?”
“Are you using?”
“I still go the methadone clinic, it helps a little with the pain which is a plus.”
“You can’t keep depending on that.”
“I know. I’ll get there. I’m apparently a fucking pothead now…but I’ll get off that shit too. It’ll just be me and the dangerous mood drugs the government lets me take.”
She moves her papers aside and notices the Diet Coke I’d brought over. She just moves it and I signal to Ronnie behind the counter to bring me an egg salad wrap.
“Your Mama is so pretty”, I tell Elijah but he’s trying squirm out of my grasp. I look at Sofia and awkwardly add, “I like that dress.”
“I know you said that after the trial. Being nice to me won’t make me forgive you or take you back.”
I set Elijah back in his high chair but he gets whiny.
“He started crawling”, Sofia says.
“I knew he could do it, Eli”, I say, “I’d like to see that.”
“Maybe you can stop by later”, Sofia mentions casually. Again, careful not to say where she is staying.
“I’d really like that”, I say honestly, ”What’s all this paperwork for? The civil case ?”
I lean in like I know what the fuck I’m looking at, but I want to be involved this time.
“No. I’m applying to be a foster parent.”
Don’t do it. Don’t be the guy to crush her dreams.
“…aren’t you kind of young, Sofia ?"
“You just have to be 21…and by the time I get licensed I’ll have my degree and be 22. I’ll have a good income and my earning potential will go up once I finish my master’s. You were right when you said there are tons of other kids like Charity out there, if I can’t help her I’ll help one of them.”
“Sofie, we live in a shoebox and I have a record--“
“I live in a shoebox now, but that’s temporary. Martina connected me with a family lawyer in New Yok who faxed me the forms. “
“You’re staying in New York?” For some reason that feels like something.
“For now. I don’t know if I’ll stay in the city. There’s Albany or White Plains …they have big health systems. So….”
“…look Sofia you weren’t crazy to want to rescue Charity…Veronica was telling me Judson mostly just needed the check. I can’t blame him, the shop isn’t doing great and he’s got all those kids to support—“
“You and Veronica?", Sofia says evenly, "Are you together now?”
“No.”, I tell her, “She’s just helping me out. I mean we did kiss but that was it and I figured that was okay.”
“Do you just tell me everything now?”
“I will. If it helps…” I put as much earnestness as I can in that statement.
“Tomas, I don’t know what to do with you. You keep hurting me, you can’t make it a year without—“
“I know, it’s this place”
“No it’s not this place. Stop blaming everyone but yourself—“
“Sofia, I’m not doing this for shits and giggles okay? I’m in real physical pain every single day and I’m supposed to live with it? I was just trying to function. Look I know I fucked up but I was trying to be supportive and bring in money and I failed, okay? I’m a fuck-up Sofia but the longer I stay here the more I see who I could have been if I hadn’t run. This is who I would have been. I feel lonely and hollow without you and everything you do for me.”
“I need some time, Tomas. In the meantime you are free to kiss anyone you want.”
She starts packing up and I feel like she and Elijah are slipping through my fingers.
“Do you have to go?” I ask.
“Yes”, she says, “I really need to concentrate on these papers and get ready to head back to New York. I’ll call you when we’re settled.”
I kept trying of things I could say to prolong the moment so I could fix everything.
“Wait I got paid this morning”, I take out my wallet and reach for the two crisp fifty dollar bills, “Take it. I should be good.”
“I can’t—“
“It’s fine.” I push it back into her hands, “I’m getting more shifts here. Please, Sofia.”
She just shakes her head and refuses the money, she loads Elijah into the stroller and I realize this is it.
“I’ll call you”, she says again instead of saying good-bye.
“Okay. Good-bye”, I say instead of I love you.
+++
I put a brave fucking face on when I roll into Riverside Tattoo. Judson is actually working on a client and I see Evianna jumping around and watching TV in the back. Bobby looks up from his meth and goes all wide-eyed, I guessed he didn’t tell Judson we were going to be roomies.
“Phone”, I say using every bit of bravo a scrawny guy in a wheelchair can muster.
“You look like shit”, Judson says
“Phone.”
He opens the drawer and tosses Sofia’s phone at me. I catch it and look at the crack running down the middle.
“I didn’t do shit to her”, he says defensively.
“She didn’t say you did.”
“You can tell her they took Charity. I guess two calls in one summer get their asses moving or some shit. There wasn’t room in the system so they took her to Tennessee. They have specialist there I guess…”
“I’m sorry.”
“Katie’s going to stay with her Grandma until the baby is born so it’s just me, now.”
He gestures to Evianna in the corner watching TV alone, it is odd seeing her without Tammi-Lynn and Garnett trailing behind her.
“I’m sorry. Does Veronica know she’s in foster care in Tennessee?”
Judson shrugs, “Why don’t you ask her. She ain’t going to visit now that she’s got you.”
It’s not like that, but I can tell he’s just mad she stopped coming by. Maybe Charity was the only thing that kept them in each other’s lives.
“You’re such a fucking loser”, I finally tell him
“You are one to speak”, he says “You don’t live with me, you don’t work here so we got no business.”
I give Bobby a slight nod, but it wasn’t going to take long for Judson to figure out we were roommates. I went to the post office and put Sofia’s phone in the mail, along with my new address and I settled in.